jzeb2008

I FINALLY had enough. I filed for divorce a little over a month ago. We were supposed to go to court for provisionals last Tuesday, but guess who didn't show? This time, I am not doing this in hopes that he will change or go to treatment. It would be a good thing for him, but for me, I don't care. I made him move out 3 months ago. He has not given me a penny for our daughter or do I think he will. He said that he won't. He tries to manipulate me into seeing our child so he can give me money but has only saw her twice in 3 months and of course, whose fault is that? I met him to see her last week and all he really did the entire hour and twenty minutes was try to argue with me. He's pulled every possible trick in the book to try to convince me that what I am doing is wrong and that he was always there for me in every way. I left him because he wasn't there for me in ANY way. It is sad that it had to come to this point of me having no love or compassion for the man that I dearly lived with all of my heart and would've done anything for, but I knew that day would come, I told him that day would come and now he acts as if he's surprised.

LoveMeNow

Yep, they are always blindsided but then again, I always gave in and believed his promises so I guess I can understand his "shock" when I really did have enough.

Glad to hear you are moving on and out of the insanity.

allforcnm

I'm sorry Jzeb, its hard when a marriage ends no matter what the reason. I hope things so smoothly in the divorce process so you and your daughter can move forward, and find happiness again.

Kindeyes

I reached a point where enough was enough. I can relate to all that you said. My XAH did the same thing....but it happened 30 years ago. He is still addicted and he is an angry, bitter, resentful man. I have no contact with him but our son does.....and it's very sad. Nothing changes if nothing changes.

On the bright side, I've had a pretty good life since leaving him. I remarried two years later to a wonderful man who helped me raise my son. We had a daughter together. He has been a strong and consistent partner.

It is very very very very hard to leave someone whom you once loved dearly. It takes great courage.

Keep taking care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

hopeful4

My attorney told me if my husband is served and does not show it will be automatic judgement on my terms. Did that happen for you? I surely hope so!

It is amazing when you have warned them and warned them and they act so surprised when it actually happens. I even told my XAH before Xmas I want a divorce. We talked about it. He begged me just to get through the holidays. When I actually kicked him out and began following through he is absolutely stunned. I truly think he did not think I would go through with this no matter what LOL.

Sorry this is being drug out for you. I hope it is over soon!

jzeb2008

I told mine the same time. Right before Christmas. When he spent all of the Christmas money on pills and couldn't even watch the children open the presents that I managed to get from Adopt a Family and that my sponsor bought, I made him leave 2 days after Christmas.

story74

So sorry to hear. It sounds so familiar. When I was going through it all, I kept trying to rationalize and defend myself. They are excellent at manipulation. Looking back, I realize how nice I was to him! I loved him. But, after awhile...after all the disappointments and hurt and hurt, I don't love him anymore. Especially after abandoning my son. That was it.

My lawyer said the same thing. If they default, then you pretty much get whatever you want. Just really think about what you ask for.

It is just heartbreaking what the addiction does to the child and family. I see so man kids with so many emotional problems because of drug addicts.

Once the addict is out of your life for good, it really does get better. There is only so much one can take!