much needed motivation
 

so i was in a good place, getting better at accepting my situation, and starting to find strength to move forward and climb this incredible mountain my AH has left behind for me.

It seems he has now begun a campaign to attack me in everyday possible. Which, considering the restraining order, means trying to get to me through our son, my family and friends and trying to hurt me financially as well. His truck is in my name and I don't think he's paying it. We had to file Chapter 13, because of his addiction, and he's called the bankruptcy attorney to tell him I have 401K money from when he was fired. We are almost through the 13, and now I am in danger of losing that money, (all I have to keep my house for a while, now that Im down to one income), and having to start that all over. Of course he didn't mention the $10,000 in four months he took from the money to support his crack habit.

I will have to file taxes independently since he won't cooperate, which will cost more. I feel helpless to stop it. Almost positive he is using again. My father talked to him last night and said he was over the top paranoid and had never heard him like that. He said he doesn't trust me, that he needs to protect himself.
Waiting for my divorce summons, we go to court March 3. for his violation of my restraining order. He will be served that day. I am terrified of what he will do. Live in constant anxiety of whats coming next.
But I know I need to stay strong for my kids and to get through.
Anyone further down this road?? Does it ever get better??

I went through a similar situation with my son’s father, the only difference was we weren’t married. We were together for 10yrs, so it’s like a marriage… I had a restraining order, numerous of police reports, etc. but for some odd reason in Philadelphia none of that mattered…It always seemed that no matter what he did or how much pain and stress he caused, he always got away with it.. That in itself definitely made matters worse.. It was one of the hardest times of my life. I can honestly say, I didn’t want to live anymore.. I thought things would never be ok and that the pain would be forever… He continuously took me to court for custody, child support and whatever else he could.. He wouldn’t show most of the time, but did it just to make my life harder.. He didn’t work so he had all the time in the world, but I did.. Thankfully my job at that time was very understanding… Right now things may seem overwhelming, but please trust that everything will work out as it should and through it all – you will be ok, I promise  I have been there before and it’s now a few years later and I am in place I never thought I could ever be…

I just recently quickly ended a relationship with another addict and although I am feeling alot of the same pain and confusion, it’s my hardships from my past that show me I will be ok if I just keep on taking it one day at a time… Stay strong, keep posting, pray and attend meetings... Xoxo