crazycoda

I'm feeling at a low point today, both my sister and partner who are addicted seem to be really happy today, there isn't any bad drama happening and I think at quite times like these I really start to get low and reflect on all the hurt and pain my family and I have endured. It's like God gives me a days rest but then it lets my mind think. I know I am co-dependent so is my mum. I feel so weak and worthless. Every day I wake up in the morning and assess the damage done from the day before and I promise to myself that today will be different but it's not it just merges into another drug fuelled day. I can't even escape at work because she works there too. I can't go on another week in this state, my health is failing and I'm only 28!! My blood sugar is sky high and the need for sweet sugar to sooth my emotions is out of control, I am basically an addict myself.

Sorry for the moaning post, I hope everyone is having a better day. Where has all my spiritual positiveness gone! Perhaps it will come back tomorrow.

hopeful4

I am sorry you are having a rough time of it. I know that frustration you feel, I totally understand. You are not alone at all. What can you do for you to work on detatchment, boundaries and less codependency. Do you go to meetings? Do you see a therapist? What can you do to be kind to YOU??

Tight Hugs.

needingabreak

I am so sorry Crazycoda. I too feel your pain and know the heartache that comes from loving an addict and all the different emotions that come with it. There are days that no matter how hard you try it just seems like a black cloud is hovering. Loving an addict does that. It is such an awful heart wrenching ache but when we can, it is important to look for the good in our daily lives. It could be a sunrise, a beautiful snowy meadow, an ice cream, a brownie, a good friend, a book, time with God, anything in nature, a sunset, exercise, yoga, meditation-well you get the idea. My son has relapsed again and gone back to lying and manipulating. Our relationship is now strained and difficult and sure I am upset about it BUT I am determined that it will not break me. I am determined to be happy despite his drug addiction. My life matters and so does yours. Refuse to allow their bad decisions to take away your happiness.
I hope you can find something good in your day. Seek it out. Some days it is much harder to do than others and sometimes we have to sit and think about things and try to understand where the feelings are coming from. Turn it around by doing something positive for you today. I am here for you and I understand completely. Praying for a better day for you! Hugs.

KeepinItReal

It took me awhile to give it to God. To really give it to God. There is hope.

We can focus on changing ourselves, getting through, planning and following through on doable attainable small goals. Even if they seem impossible now.. the wonderful thing about life.. is that it's always changing and nothing lasts forever.

FourTwentyOne

Hang in there! We all have tough days. They suck. But they are natural and understandable. Remember that you always have a choice in who you live with, where you work and what you are willing to put up with; and you can go to a meeting.

On really tough days I hug my kids with all the love I have to give, I tickle them until we are both laughing so hard we can't breathe, and when no one is looking I cry till my knees are wet. All of that helps.

AnvilheadII

knowing that you cannot fix either your BF or your sis, can you get either of them out of your life or at least at enough distance so you can focus on your and your child? you've shared that your bf does crack and heroin....both two really good reasons to send him on his way. YOU have to make the changes here....you cannot rely upon an addict for ANYTHING except disappointment and missing cash.