I need support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1
I need support
Hi everyone,
I have been with my fiance for 8 years. To say it's been a roller coaster is an understatement. A few years into our relationship, I found out that he was addicted to cocaine......he had already quit drinking before we were together but still used cocaine. I can't tell you how many times he said he was going to quit, but never did. All the lies.....that's what really hurts the most.
This past August, things with him really took a dive. He lost 30lbs and finally had said that this was killing him and that he wanted to stop. He started seeing a therapist 2x a week (which he still does), he got rid of his cell phone which he said helps not having his drug dealers numbers and he started going to AA meetings. Things seemed to be going well, until recently when he was prescribed oxycontin for knee pain. Just a little background, he was abusing painkillers too while doing cocaine.
This morning, I went out to the TV room and all over the floor was what looked like crushed pills. I believe he is snorting the oxycontins again. I don't even know if I want to confront him about it because I'll just get the usual denials and then he turns everything on me. Should I call him out on it??
I have 2 children, 13 and 16 and I dont make enough money to just kick him out.....I literally wouldn't be able to pay the rent and the bills. I feel like I'm stuck....i know I have to leave, but i just don't know how to....if that makes sense?
He has been addicted for about 30 years....it's always something whether it's drinking, pills, cocaine, ambien at one time...and always has to snort everything!!!
I know what I need to do.....but how do I get there from here?????
Thank you for reading
Kate
I have been with my fiance for 8 years. To say it's been a roller coaster is an understatement. A few years into our relationship, I found out that he was addicted to cocaine......he had already quit drinking before we were together but still used cocaine. I can't tell you how many times he said he was going to quit, but never did. All the lies.....that's what really hurts the most.
This past August, things with him really took a dive. He lost 30lbs and finally had said that this was killing him and that he wanted to stop. He started seeing a therapist 2x a week (which he still does), he got rid of his cell phone which he said helps not having his drug dealers numbers and he started going to AA meetings. Things seemed to be going well, until recently when he was prescribed oxycontin for knee pain. Just a little background, he was abusing painkillers too while doing cocaine.
This morning, I went out to the TV room and all over the floor was what looked like crushed pills. I believe he is snorting the oxycontins again. I don't even know if I want to confront him about it because I'll just get the usual denials and then he turns everything on me. Should I call him out on it??
I have 2 children, 13 and 16 and I dont make enough money to just kick him out.....I literally wouldn't be able to pay the rent and the bills. I feel like I'm stuck....i know I have to leave, but i just don't know how to....if that makes sense?
He has been addicted for about 30 years....it's always something whether it's drinking, pills, cocaine, ambien at one time...and always has to snort everything!!!
I know what I need to do.....but how do I get there from here?????
Thank you for reading
Kate
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hi Kate and welcome.
The thing is, and I am sure you are aware of this, people who are not addicts do not crush up meds and snort them. It is pure addiction.
Do you have any family that can help you temporarily? Is he willing to go to inpatient rehab. I am not talking some upscale deal. I am talking Teen Challenge or Salvation Army, both have excellent programs.
You need support for you. You need therapy yourself and you need meetings. If it is not feasable to get out now, you need to set up short term goals you can meet to eventually become able to do so. A therapist can help you with that.
Keep posting here, SR is great online support.
And above all else, never let him drive your children if there is any chance at all he could be under the influence.
Hugs.
The thing is, and I am sure you are aware of this, people who are not addicts do not crush up meds and snort them. It is pure addiction.
Do you have any family that can help you temporarily? Is he willing to go to inpatient rehab. I am not talking some upscale deal. I am talking Teen Challenge or Salvation Army, both have excellent programs.
You need support for you. You need therapy yourself and you need meetings. If it is not feasable to get out now, you need to set up short term goals you can meet to eventually become able to do so. A therapist can help you with that.
Keep posting here, SR is great online support.
And above all else, never let him drive your children if there is any chance at all he could be under the influence.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
I think going to a long term program will also require you to be financially stable on your own.
Maybe making some goals for yourself.. to get more independent. That way, when/if he wants/needs/decides he wants long-term help you will be able to take over the bills.
There is also a slew of ways to cut costs. Not easy, but doable. I know it cannot be easy with teenagers in the house.
I understand what your going through and can be here for support. Hugs!!
Maybe making some goals for yourself.. to get more independent. That way, when/if he wants/needs/decides he wants long-term help you will be able to take over the bills.
There is also a slew of ways to cut costs. Not easy, but doable. I know it cannot be easy with teenagers in the house.
I understand what your going through and can be here for support. Hugs!!
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