Everlasting change? It's a slow process !
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: East coast
Posts: 25
Everlasting change? It's a slow process !
Hello friends,
Here I am again. The last few months have been calmer. My husband has been free of his obsessions with other younger women (they are unaware and innocent of his fantasies). My son who dabbles in various prescription pill addictions, asked for help and has been living at home. He has been giving us his money (good job ) and slowly paying off some of his credit card debt.
I've thrown myself into my job, hobbies and other children, and love that grandchild!
But here I am again. My son has started getting prescriptions, instead of buying the drugs on the street. The drug test I give him came up dirty, and he says it's legit....but we know he's high. The agreement was, house rule, do drugs, have to leave. He didn't put any money towards the debt this month either.
It's so sad, but we'll have to ask him to leave. I'm ok with that. I hope he finds his way. At least the court took his license and he has no car. After the last accident I think even he was scared. And I don't think the drs. are giving him the quantities he was getting on the street that put him in the emergency room so many times from seizures 4 days after he stopped.
I have been in therapy for 4 years, and my husband and I see a marriage counsellor. It has changed my life! Although slowly. I can't change either of them. I am learning to let go of feeling that I'm responsible , or can prevent my husband from falling in love with random neighbors who make him feel young, or my son from taking drugs. I can ask my husband to leave, and we can ask our son to leave. I can't be their brakes. If I say it enough times I'm sure I'll be able to change my response when they try to make me the "jailer" "mommy" "controller". I told my son tonight, he asked me to help him, but it only works when he's helping himself. But of course having a conversation with an addict when they're high is a waste.
When times are bad I come here and remember. To love myself, to stick to my core values, to find my happiness and enjoy life.
Here I am again. The last few months have been calmer. My husband has been free of his obsessions with other younger women (they are unaware and innocent of his fantasies). My son who dabbles in various prescription pill addictions, asked for help and has been living at home. He has been giving us his money (good job ) and slowly paying off some of his credit card debt.
I've thrown myself into my job, hobbies and other children, and love that grandchild!
But here I am again. My son has started getting prescriptions, instead of buying the drugs on the street. The drug test I give him came up dirty, and he says it's legit....but we know he's high. The agreement was, house rule, do drugs, have to leave. He didn't put any money towards the debt this month either.
It's so sad, but we'll have to ask him to leave. I'm ok with that. I hope he finds his way. At least the court took his license and he has no car. After the last accident I think even he was scared. And I don't think the drs. are giving him the quantities he was getting on the street that put him in the emergency room so many times from seizures 4 days after he stopped.
I have been in therapy for 4 years, and my husband and I see a marriage counsellor. It has changed my life! Although slowly. I can't change either of them. I am learning to let go of feeling that I'm responsible , or can prevent my husband from falling in love with random neighbors who make him feel young, or my son from taking drugs. I can ask my husband to leave, and we can ask our son to leave. I can't be their brakes. If I say it enough times I'm sure I'll be able to change my response when they try to make me the "jailer" "mommy" "controller". I told my son tonight, he asked me to help him, but it only works when he's helping himself. But of course having a conversation with an addict when they're high is a waste.
When times are bad I come here and remember. To love myself, to stick to my core values, to find my happiness and enjoy life.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Great post OHD, sorry to hear about your son. But I think you're handling it so well. I don't want to sound callous but I had a little smile about the 'falling in love with random neighbours'.
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