Ann

I say this as delicately as I can and with love in my heart...but I see "me" in you, how I was with my son, checking on his every move and trying to get everyone to make him "see" that he needed help.

It's exhausting. Tell me all this didn't exhaust you and drain your very soul.

In the end, we can't love them into recovery, we can't "arrange" their recovery, we can't gather the troops and make them find recovery...we truly are powerless over their addiction. Only they can do something about it and they will only do it when the pain of using becomes greater than the fear of stopping.

I almost killed myself trying to save my son. In the end I had to let go and let God and it saved my life. Today I live well, I live happy and I live healthy....even though my son is missing and lost in his addiction somewhere unknown. I say a prayer each morning and ask God to take care of my son...then I live my day well, as life is intended to be lived.

I hope you find peace soon and keep you in my prayers.

Hugs

allforcnm

I think you handled all of that really well. It sounds like you were in control of your emotions and actions when you were in the therapy session, and after you got home also. Honorable Mention for that because I know its not easy. I really liked the way you presented his alternatives and asked him to think before taking action. Those feelings you talked about were a negative consequence for him... that's all we can do.. he has to make the choice.

I also think its great your relying on the support system, the therapist, and working on balance. Im so happy your new job has good insurance !! I know sometimes its both scary and exciting to start a new job, but your so ready for this opportunity. Im excited for you !!

help4hubby

Ann, yes you are absolutely right the whole experience drained me! It felt like a full time job making the calls, gathering everyone together, sneaking around him so he didn't find out what we were planning and get angry. I started thinking my gosh I'm mentally exhausted from this and I haven't even started my new job yet!

Allforcnm, thank you so much for the positive feedback! It felt like such a failure when the session didn't come together as we had all planned, it's nice to hear positive statements. I've been confiding in and relying more on my close friends which has really helped me to not feel so alone. Planning for my new job and setting my own personal goals has been a really good focus for me. It's also a good reminder that while I want my husband to be a better him I also can be a better me.

needingabreak

Helpforhubby I am praying for you and your family. So sorry you are going through it. All of it is so emotionally exhausting. I found with my son he was going to do what he was going to do and noone or no thing could stop him. So I stopped trying to fix him and control him. I worry but not like I used to. I give it all to God. I know I cannot control anything he chooses to do. I hope things work out for you sweetie.