Jend719

My 20yo RAD, who was told to find another place to live, moved in with a friend. The friend's parents were kind enough to let her stay there and help her. We got a call from the mother Saturday who wanted to verify the my RAD was spending the night with us. No she's not here we told her. My daughter continued this lie to the mother. The mother asked to speak to one of us. She claimed we were sleeping. She then put the new boyfriend on the phone who proceeded to impersonate my husband. The mother had already spoken to my husband so she knew this was a lie. Needless to say, when my daughter showed back up at their house yesterday they kicked her out.

The new boyfriend is a 30 yo, unemployed, recovering addict, with 4 kids who lives with his ex-wife still. My daughter is 20! When she left their house, he picked her up with all of her stuff. She goes to court on Wednesday to face the judge for her 3 yrs probation sentencing. Part of me is hoping she just goes back to jail. She's incapable of making any kind of responsible decisions. I don't think it would go over well with the judge that she's living with another addict.

I've learned a lot since I first started on this train wreck, roller-coaster ride. In the past, I would've freaked out and played right into the drama. I'm just going to let her figure it out herself.

On another note, my husband told our AS to find another place to live also. He just can't follow our rules and respect the house. It's too much drama! My husband is having a very hard time with his decision. I really hope he doesn't backslide and allow him to come home. Now it's just the 3 of us. I'd really like to see for awhile, without the older 2, if we can get back to some sort of normalcy. Our marriage has taken such a hit from all the stress and the drama. They use these excuses how they're still young, they have to find themselves etc. they act like they've had horrible lives. We offered them school, help, support etc. and they've chosen lazy, drug-filled lives. Those decisions are theirs to own. Hopefully, they will get uncomfortable enough to get their lives straightened out. I just don't know how to help them anymore.

hopeful4

You are right Jend...you cannot help them. They are at a point they have to help themselves. There are all sorts of resources out there when and if they truly want the help. Until then they need to see what life is like on the other side.

I am sorry. Hugs to you.

Txhelp

She is living the life she wants...damn! Don't you hate, as a parent, that you can't knock some sense in her?

Logic doesn't follow someone using. You can't infuse it in her brain....the drugs block it.

I have to keep telling myself "it's none of my business." I thought it was and tried to help, like you, on many facets (money; shelter; rides; lawyer fees; schooling; etc).

Keep strong and allow things to take there course.