This had to happen but I'm devastated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 146
This had to happen but I'm devastated
AB walked away tonight. I feel empty, abandoned and hurt.
I've been crazy with indecision, fear and confusion for months now on how to end it. I pleaded with god to give me a sign or allow some event to occur, help me get out of this mess. I felt there was no way out.
So he's been behaving even more suspiciously lately. Not coming home and sneaking about more than usual. I suspect another woman but he tells me no. Why would I believe him?
I don't know what to think or feel right now, head's a mess.
I know this needs to happen but how do I deal with it? How do I deal with tonight? Tomorrow?
I'm afraid.
I've been crazy with indecision, fear and confusion for months now on how to end it. I pleaded with god to give me a sign or allow some event to occur, help me get out of this mess. I felt there was no way out.
So he's been behaving even more suspiciously lately. Not coming home and sneaking about more than usual. I suspect another woman but he tells me no. Why would I believe him?
I don't know what to think or feel right now, head's a mess.
I know this needs to happen but how do I deal with it? How do I deal with tonight? Tomorrow?
I'm afraid.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,490
kat - I don't have the perfect answer for you, but I can tell you that you will get through this and it will be OK. As for tonight and tomorrow, you just need to do what you need to do to get through this time - cry, shout, scream or curl up in a ball and watch films and eat chocolate - whatever you feel you need to do.
Sorry I can't give you a better response, but my heart is with you.
Sorry I can't give you a better response, but my heart is with you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
I'm sorry you are struggling. The others are right...do what you need to do for you right now. Take all that energy you've been putting into him, his addiction, his chaos and redirect it into a positive something for YOU! Join a group, a class, gym, attend nar anon....whatever...because there will be an adjustment period to living without this mess. If you can consciously fill your time with healthy pursuits this will begin to feel like the new normal. It's often then that we realize just how sick we also have become. You can do this...one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Kat so sorry you are hurting right now. God has given you your out. Right now you cry, you grieve and you get through it minute by minute. Soon it will be day by day and before you know it the sun will be shining. You will be ok Kat, I promise. In time you will have a normal life. One without chaos and pain. Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I'm so sorry that your are hurting......I understand that feeling......Try to breathe deeply and, as others have said, do what you need to do to take care of you. When I got out of my marriage with my XAH 30 years ago.....I wasn't sure I'd survive. The pain was so pervasive. But I did and life got better.....I hope it does the same for you.
Take care of you.
gentle gentle hugs
ke
Take care of you.
gentle gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
kat, remember it's one thing to the be one thinking about ending things, and how, and who will say and do what, and fretting over timing and waiting for signs...and quite another to be the one who just got unceremoniously dumped. or left or walked out on. but try, please try to remember it's the EXACT SAME OUTCOME.
you asked HP for help....well, there you go, help.
give yourself some time to adjust to the new. it'll be ok. don't be afraid.
you asked HP for help....well, there you go, help.
give yourself some time to adjust to the new. it'll be ok. don't be afraid.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
Sometimes when everything around us seems like it will never be okay again all we can do is sit through the discomfort. There is no way to stop the hurting, but I promise you that in time it will pass. One minute, one hour, one day at a time. You will overcome this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 88
I think you might want to start saying 'thank you' to the One Who answered your prayers. And trust that as surely has He has given you the "sign" that you asked for, He will give you the strength you need to stand in the midst of the storm.
****{Hugs}}} - This too shall pass...
****{Hugs}}} - This too shall pass...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
Posts: 146
HumbleNumb I do believe my prayers have been answered. It may be harsh and it feels cruel but it needs to happen, otherwise this misery will continue and it has already gone on for long enough.
The humiliation made me hide away from life, family, friend. Hell, I even started self medicating!
I must find a way to get through this.
Peace xo.
The humiliation made me hide away from life, family, friend. Hell, I even started self medicating!
I must find a way to get through this.
Peace xo.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
kat you will get through this. It's a blessing. I know that doesn't make it easier now, but before long you'll begin to see what a trap you were in.
BTW, i bet there is another woman, and good luck to her, she'll start seeing what a bargain she got soon while you'll be gratefully free.
Try not to make the mistake of maintaining contact.
BTW, i bet there is another woman, and good luck to her, she'll start seeing what a bargain she got soon while you'll be gratefully free.
Try not to make the mistake of maintaining contact.
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