TimeHeals831

so to sum this up, my girlfriend just got locked up. something to do with robbery/theft from yesterday when she was hanging out with someone she used to get high with/ get heroin from. yesterday she didnt seem right to me, but shes been telling me that she hasnt gotten high and it upsets her when i ask so much because she feels like she cant convince me no matter what she tells me and so on and so forth. i guess i thought it was okay that they hung out because she is a coworker of mine and other coworkers have been saying shes been clean and doing well but i guess not anymore. i tried to trust what my girlfriend was telling me and not ask if she was getting high because i dont want to upset her or start a fight. but now shes locked up with bail set pretty high. i dont know what to believe and im just sick to my stomach and so sad about the whole situation. i know theres nothing i can do but everything just hurts

Fitchicky

If there's anything that addict know how to do, its lie and manipulate. They have had much practice. My husband, who left because I asked him to take a drug test, is very convincing. I'm a pretty logical subjective person and he had pulled the wool over my eyes a few times. I've decided not to be his enabler anymore. My supporting him and swallowing his ******** is a method of enabling

TimeHeals831

i hear you on that Fitchicky, i just thought that she was doing so well, going to school and loving it and doing stuff around her house for her parents. but i guess since i found out she started smoking pot again i shouldve thought differently. i know shes not my responsability but god its so hard not to worry about her.

i had just read your thread and im so sorry for what youre going through sending you positive vibes and good thoughts <3

Kindeyes

I'm so sorry to hear this......things like this are such a gut punch.

We sometimes call this "the blue light special". Getting locked up sometimes is a life changing event. I hope that's the case for your gf.

You and your gf will be in my prayers.

gentle hugs
ke

TimeHeals831

thank you very much kindeyes, im hoping for the same thing being its her first time being locked up.

hopeful4

I am sorry, that is alot of trauma. Take the conversation out of it and look at her actions. Was she using? Quite likely. They lie and manipulate to get the next fix. It's not a good idea to be hanging out with another person who uses too, even new in recovery. It's alot of temptation. However, these are her choices, not yours. She is not your naughty child. She is a grown adult that has landed in jail for her actions. Let her figure it out.

I suggest no contact, step back and work on you. Get the support you need to deal with all of this. Let her figure out her own legal battles.

doggonecarl

You sound like you have a kind heart.

You've been dating less than a year. Time enough to figure out if you two are compatable and share the same values. Also time to see what kind of person you are dating and if they exhibit any "deal breakers" for continued involvement. Not every relationship is meant to work out, especially one-sided ones.

Obviously she has some good qualities, but where does arrested felon and relapsed addict fit on your acceptable qualities list?