AS arrested
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
bookreader......I don't know what the circumstances of your arrest & I know you are feeling overwhelmed & unsure of the future, but I'm glad you are here.....things can change
Keep posting here...don't have to feel alone.
Keep posting here...don't have to feel alone.
Still Standing
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 3,296
I'm sorry bookreader. I'm glad that you came to get that off your chest here in this safe place. We all know how this feels. The thought of it is horrible, but as the addiction progresses & our recovery progresses, we sometimes see this as a relief because it gets our loved ones in a safer place than they were & we know they have a roof over their head & food to eat & a bed to sleep on. The drugs are harder to get there too. I hope this is one of those mixed emotions kinda times for you. I'm still sorry that things are this way with your son. I know how much it hurts. ((((((HUGS))))))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 18
Hello bookreader, I am so sorry you're going through this. My son has been in jail for 3 weeks now and it is just so sad. I don't know the details of your son's arrest, but for me, one upside is that I know my son is safe, he's eating, and has a roof overhead. Keep posting, let us know how you're doing.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I too know the feeling and yet, most times when my son was arrested it was a chance for him to get clean for a while and think about how he was throwing his life away.
Prayers out for both of you.
Prayers out for both of you.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I attend CR and have heard many testimonies. I have heard a repeated theme in several of these. They went to rehab 3,4,5,10 times and immediately relapsed. Only when they spent some hard time in jail were many of these people (so many I see as kids, early 20's) did not ever get clean until they went to jail. I have watched their parents suffer, however I have watched them come out on the other side as having learned a hard lesson. Not every time, but many. It has been their only motivation to get clean and stay clean. For some they pay it forward and work with other addicts.
I cannot tell you this will happen, ultimately only he knows, and right now I doubt even he knows. You have alot of time to think and learn in jail.
You are in my prayers.
I cannot tell you this will happen, ultimately only he knows, and right now I doubt even he knows. You have alot of time to think and learn in jail.
You are in my prayers.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
I also can relate to this feeling...for a couple of years my son was in jail it seemed more than he was out. It did always give him the opportunity to clean up and consider his choices. Only your son knows the impact this will have on him...
Big hug to you today....
Big hug to you today....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,698
Dear Bookreader, I understand that kick in the stomach reaction initially upon learning they got caught (been there got the T shirt!) and also agree, it is always more of a relief to know that at least I knew where he was and it was my choice to contact him or not. Sending you big Momma Bear hugs.
TT
TT
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
I always felt better when the addict I cared about was in a 'formal setting'.
It may not be optimal but it is not a dope house. She wasn't going to be
raped with impunity by a dealer who may (on some other day) feel like
putting a round through her head instead of slapping her around.
No. At that level I feel more comfortable with formal inquests with
lives and careers and pensions on the line----as in "One more smarmy eye-rolling
response to my question and you will be explaining to your wife why the mortgage
isn't going to get paid this month".
The worst thing about the drugworld was her being subject to the whim/mood
of the lowest of the low. They like beating on women (a lot).......makes them feel
powerful.
It may not be optimal but it is not a dope house. She wasn't going to be
raped with impunity by a dealer who may (on some other day) feel like
putting a round through her head instead of slapping her around.
No. At that level I feel more comfortable with formal inquests with
lives and careers and pensions on the line----as in "One more smarmy eye-rolling
response to my question and you will be explaining to your wife why the mortgage
isn't going to get paid this month".
The worst thing about the drugworld was her being subject to the whim/mood
of the lowest of the low. They like beating on women (a lot).......makes them feel
powerful.
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hi Bookreader:
I'm sorry that your AS is in jail again; however, like the rest of our friends here on the forum, after the initial punch in the gut, I, too, was happy that my son was in jail because now he had a place to stay, he was safe, he was eating, he was showering! Best of all maybe now he was thinking, and I was able to sleep!
Hugs, Devastated
I'm sorry that your AS is in jail again; however, like the rest of our friends here on the forum, after the initial punch in the gut, I, too, was happy that my son was in jail because now he had a place to stay, he was safe, he was eating, he was showering! Best of all maybe now he was thinking, and I was able to sleep!
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Indiana, IL
Posts: 424
bookreader, I can relate. My son was paroled to my house after a long prison sentence and was arrested within months. He led police on a low speed chase and was charged with a felony with a gun. I am a bit at peace now that he back in prison. I don't have parole agents digging through my home and I don't have to worry about his latest plan to get drugs. He starting hanging out with old gang members again and I knew he was headed back. I am limiting the amount of money I send to his snack account so he cannot buy drugs inside like last time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
thank you to everyone. you are amazing. when you all type 'hugs' I actually feel them. thank you.
there is so much to say -
but it comes down to this - heroin is the most evil thing in existence.
why do we lock up people who really need help getting off the drugs.
Many of you said - you actually had a peace of mind when your kid/person was locked up; yes, me too. AS is locked up, can't use, can't steal, is getting some kind of food. But what is the long term outcome - where is the long term care that addicts need....
AND - don't get me started about health insurance companies - OMG, I have been paying for how many years and you won't pay for treatment....
there is so much to say -
but it comes down to this - heroin is the most evil thing in existence.
why do we lock up people who really need help getting off the drugs.
Many of you said - you actually had a peace of mind when your kid/person was locked up; yes, me too. AS is locked up, can't use, can't steal, is getting some kind of food. But what is the long term outcome - where is the long term care that addicts need....
AND - don't get me started about health insurance companies - OMG, I have been paying for how many years and you won't pay for treatment....
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
I totally agree with you on the subject of helping them instead of imprisoning them, but that's our society!!
The only thing we can do here is be thankful that this gives them time to know what it's like to be clean and sober. It gives them time to think with a clean mind. The rest is up to them. It's out of our hands, and into their Higher Power's hands.
Hugs, Devastated
The only thing we can do here is be thankful that this gives them time to know what it's like to be clean and sober. It gives them time to think with a clean mind. The rest is up to them. It's out of our hands, and into their Higher Power's hands.
Hugs, Devastated
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