jjj111

Well, it's been a while since I've posted about my sister. I guess I haven't known exactly what to think, or maybe I just haven't wanted to get real enough to write a post. She has been an opiate addict for over a decade. She decided last year to do a rapid detox, where they basically put her under anesthesia while she went through the worst of her withdrawals.

She had a naltrexone implant placed in her arm, but after a few weeks she decided it was causing bad side effects and she didn't want to continue on naltrexone once the implant dissolved--they slowly dissolve into your body and you have to get a new one if you want to continue to get naltexone's effect of not being able to enjoy opiates. I suspect that maybe the "side effect" she disliked most was not being able to take pills, but who knows. She lives in another state, so all I know is what she tells me.

She has admitted that she still drinks--not more than two drinks, she says. Quack, quack. And she has also admitted to getting benzos from her doctor for a lot of problems. I think she sees them as therapeutic, but I doubt her ability to take them as prescribed.

Anyway, I am trying to take a hands off approach. I haven't scolded her for the benzos or the booze. It would just make her defensive and angry, and I really want her to be as honest with me as possible because she has a young child, and if things get bad I would want to know so that I can take whatever steps I can to protect him. Then again, I know she hides the worst stuff from me. She told me at one point that her addiction was "worse than I knew about," without explaining what she meant, which kind of made my imagination run wild. She mentioned once, before her detox, that she and her child's father had been doing cocaine and heroin, and maybe there was more of that than I knew. Except for that one time, she always presented it to me as "just pills."

In any case, it's clear that she's not really serious about sobriety. She is doing "step work" by phone with a sponsor who lives in another state, who she met in NA years ago, but not attending any meetings in her area. I think it's only a matter of time before she goes back to opiates, if she hasn't already. It frustrates me, but I'm trying to just focus on my side of the street and let her do what she will. I actually feel pretty good about my level of detachment. Thanks for listening!

Kindeyes

It sounds like you have a healthy outlook!

gentle hugs
ke

hopeful4

Glad you can detatch and keep you healthy!!!

needingabreak

Hi JJJ,
Thanks so much for the update. Im sorry she isn't ready to quit but it sounds like you have a very healthy outlook for yourself to detach. It sure isn't easy to do so and not worry. Hugs to you.

jjj111

Thanks, everybody! It's true, it is hard not to worry. I like something that people say sometimes, that worrying is like praying for a bad outcome. I try to remember that. I guess it's relatively easy for me right now, too, because her boyfriend helps her cope with the fact that she's unwilling/unable to work. If they ever broke up, I'm afraid she'd become more unstable. But we have developed better boundaries over the past few years. She can be pretty unstable emotionally, but she is at least working with a therapist, and I think she understands pretty well at this point that it would be unhealthy for me to try to manage or even be very involved in her recovery (if she can even be described as "recovering.") Anyway, she is relatively stable right now, and I do expect that it would be harder for me if things go downhill again. Ten years ago she was extremely skinny, got arrested, etc. That was hard to take.