alphaomega

Just found out DH is abusing Vicodin. I knew he had a "weekend" problem for years but it is now ramping up to more often.

I'm sober from alcohol 3 months. I don't know where to turn or what to do next.

I'm so lost.

hopeful4

I am sorry. It's hard to realize when someone you love has a serious problem of any sort. Add substance abuse and it's even harder.

I would say continue to take care of YOU. I congratulate you on your own sobriety. What you don't need is to risk your own sobriety because of anyone else.

I recommend meetings and therapy to help you sort all of this out. You have to decide what boundaries you will lay for YOU to keep yourself healthy. You cannot control his actions at all. If he does choose recovery it will have to be because he wants it for himself.

Good Luck and God Bless!

Kindeyes

The gut punch of finding out someone we love is addicted is tough. The tools you are using to maintain your sobriety are very similar to the tools we use to manage our feelings regarding the addiction of someone we love.

We're real big on self care in this forum. When someone we love is stuck in the web of addiction, it's really easy to join them there.......even when we aren't using drugs or alcohol.

Take care of you.

gentle hugs
ke

Carlotta

Welcome to the other side of the street AlphaOmega.
There is a thread I started a while back for Double Winners, those of us who are in recovery from drugs or alcohol and have an active loved one
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html
Also I post the Courage To Change daily reading in the Friend and Family forum. I start a new thread every day. Here is today's
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...24-2014-a.html
If you have not heard it yet, remember that when it comes to his addiction:
you did not cause it, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it.
No matter what happens, do not make your own sobriety contingent upon someone else's.

Hugs

alphaomega

Thank you everyone for your responses. They mean more to me than I can currently articulate.

The only way I can describe what I'm currently feeling is that it parallels the emotions when you have been cheated on.

My stomach is in knots. I'm questioning everything. I can't separate lies from truth. I can't think straight. OR make sense of any of this.

All I can do is sit in this storm and feel it.

And I can not stop weeping.

And for him to abuse pills, of all things, when he went through my sisters death with me. Every emotion of her stealing the pills, hiding the pills, my parents finding them and not being proactive... It's like I have to go through this ALL OVER AGAIN.

I just can't...

Nina Kay

alphaomega,
I'm so sorry that you are hurting & in so much pain.

It's so great that you have 3 months of sobriety. That is an awesome accomplishment. Don't let anything get in the way of taking care of yourself. Maybe you could go to a meeting or several & maybe you could talk to your sponsor if you have one or get one now if you don't already.

The only way to get through this is to focus on staying very busy with your own recovery & healing. (((((((HUGS))))))

jaynie04

I'm sorry AO, and in remembering what you went through with your sister I am sure this is bringing up a lot. You have a lot of depth to your own struggle and coming out on the other side so amazingly, I know you have a lot to pull on now. Hopefully he will acknowledge where you are and be inspired to join you. Sending you a big hug friend.

Dee74

If courage and a big heart count for anything AO you'll be ok.

Like others have said - this is not your thing to fix - that may seem like a slap in the face, but it's true.

your job is to focus on you and continue growing in your recovery

D

SnoozyQ

AlphaO , my darling sister .

This is just so sad. Please don't let it compromise your sobriety . You have come so far

You must concentrate on you . I'm so sorry for you. DH must be in a bad place , you must feel like you have been kicked in the guts .

I love you dearly .

Pm me anytime , day or night , I'm always here for you , my friend xx

Much love always

zoso77

You are to be commended for choosing a path to recovery. And I think the things you may want to reflect on is how you came to make that decision, and the work that you're currently doing to stay on the right path.

I'm quite sure that no one made you choose this path. You chose it on your own.

Thus, the same rules apply apply to him. There is nothing you can do. And let's be honest, it's highly unlikely you have the emotional bandwidth to go down that rabbit hole with him. All you can do is hope and pray that he connects with his Higher Power, and then allow things to take their natural course.

Take care of you.

ZoSo

Mags1

Hi AlphaOmega, thinking of you and so sorry what you are going through.

Dig deep and find that inner strength you show to us all, lots of love x

alphaomega

There is a helplessness in this that I haven't felt for a very long time.

I feel so very helpless. And manipulated. And played. And duped. And lied to. And mortified. And ashamed at my stupidity.

My heart feels sick. And confused.

Every single thing I know has changed.

Spontaneous bursts of complete depravity.

And I know this isn't even about me. I get that. I know addiction for Christs sake. But for now, all I can do is feel it.

Thanks for the love.

I'm literally hanging on by a thread.

Mags1

I know what you mean once we get our sobriety and start feeling comfortable ish with it we feel, somewhat, in control.

I feel our lives are still fragile, to a point and our recovery is upmost to us. Any other obstacles rock us, I know, I've been rocked.

The helplessness is not your fault, it's something you can't make better. For now, AlphaOmega, first and lastly, think of you, take care of you.

Hugs x

hopeful4

Thinking of you today and sending you big hugs!