OT: Personal News

Old 01-23-2014, 07:11 PM
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OT: Personal News

Hello, all...

I've been reluctant to share some news here for the past week or so, and after going back and forth with myself, I decided to share it with the hope that others may find hope if they're going through hell.

My boss has put me in for promotion at work.

And for those who've known me for the past two years and understand where I was two years ago, this is a pretty major accomplishment.

Two years ago tomorrow, I came home from work to find a parting gift from my AXGF: my house key, the ring I gave her for her birthday the year before, and a CD of my original band's music in my door. Feeling violated (again), I waited until one of my buddies came over before I did anything.

He came over, and I showed him the ring. And he said to me, What are you going to do with it?

I looked at him and said, Follow me.

We walked outside and went to the closest sewer grate on my street. I took the ring, ceremoniously dropped it into the sewer, and walked back into my house. My buddy reminded me that I paid a fair chunk of change for that ring.

I didn't give a sh*t. That's where that ring belongs, I said.

More importantly, I did not react to her provocation. I let it go.

And it was then I started the long road back to sanity. A long road back. 2012, professionally and academically, was pretty solid.

But 2013 was really, really special. I finished grad school, graduated Eta Kappa Nu, and then turned my focus entirely on my career. It paid off. And it likely would not have been possible if my AXGF hadn't done what she did.

Ann often says things about strangely wrapped gifts. She's dead on. This is one of them.

Reclaiming my career and getting back to where I wanted to be professionally is really the epilogue of my story of warped codependance and my brush with an addict with BPD. But it wasn't easy getting here. Not by a long shot.

I guess the main takeaway I want people to have is you always have a choice. Just because you love the addict doesn't mean you're obligated to suffer with them. Just because you love the addict doesn't mean you go down in flames with them. It's fine to love the addict, but you really have to love yourself before you love anyone else. You have to make the best possible decisions for you, and that may mean doing something you don't necessarily want to do but have to for the sake of your own sanity.

Hope everyone is well.

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Old 01-23-2014, 07:35 PM
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YAY Zoso!!!! Great news on the promotion and proving there IS life after loving an addict.

Hugs and prayers,

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Old 01-23-2014, 07:47 PM
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it's interesting that you say It paid off. And it likely would not have been possible if my AXGF hadn't done what she did. there really is a take-away there....we are always given the opportunity to LEARN, to GROW. if we are willing to keep moving thru the exercise.

congrats zozo. I had no doubt you would up for promotion, be acknowledged for your skill, intelligence, dedication. you are exceptional!
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Old 01-23-2014, 07:54 PM
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Zoso, I am delighted that you are being promoted, it honours all the hard work you have done to heal and move forward. You have handled all obstacles with grace and I have no doubt that the decision to promote you was a good one.

Life does hand us many strangely wrapped gift that we only get to see in hindsight. Life uses this to lead us to where we are supposed to go and light our path until we find our way.

Congratulations Zoso, I am so glad you shared this with us. Joy always shines brighter when it is shared.

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Old 01-23-2014, 09:02 PM
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Zoso I am so happy for you. Congratulations on your promotion. I am so glad you decided to share this with us. We need positive news here and I am sure your story helps others who sit here wondering if life ever gets better. I know I haven't been here long but from what I have read from your posts, you had an awful lot to deal with and have overcome a lot. Hope this is the beginning of many new gifts for you!
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Old 01-23-2014, 11:22 PM
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Congratulations on your promotion Zoso !!! You are a real Winner !!
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Old 01-24-2014, 06:44 AM
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Congratulations! Your message is indeed an inspiration.
Here's to 2014!!
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