Need Advice, son beaten, suicidal
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8
Need Advice, son beaten, suicidal
Friday morning I got a call that my adult son had been beaten badly, broken facial bones, etc... and was in the hospital. He was released, and the people that beat him were not caught. My husband picked him up, took him to another town, and bought him some groceries, and put him in a hotel for two days. My son denies any drug use... which I absolutely don't believe. Last night he called and asked for advice. When I suggested rehab, again, he said he would rather kill himself than waste his time in rehab. He has lost everything, no clothes, no job, nothing. He has facial fractures from being beaten, and no chance of employment. He wants advice, but won't take it. He says he just needs a job (he loses every one he gets) I refuse to give him money, and we won't let him come home. He has a young child and another (that may be his) on the way. We ended our conversation with him telling me his priority in life right now is to kill himself. After he hung up on me, I called the local police to go contact him. I haven't heard anymore, and don't know what to do.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
You did the right thing.
There is no way this is the first time right?
He is "desperate", he is "not using" but he refuses 28 days of three hots and a cot because he does not want to quit!
It is out of your control.
There is no way this is the first time right?
He is "desperate", he is "not using" but he refuses 28 days of three hots and a cot because he does not want to quit!
It is out of your control.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I said the same thing and went thru
the attempt on a dare downing a handful
of pain pills and off to bed I went, not
thinking about what the precussions or
consequences would be.
Family made some phone calls without
me present looking for guidance in what
to do with me. Because I wanted to harm
myself, it was suggested to have the authorities
to pick me up with a court order and take me to
a hospital for mental evaluation.
I spent a day and night in the phyciatric ward
taking test to see if I was mentally stable. Of
course I was stable and the result of my actions was
decribed to me as being an alcoholic addicted
to alcohol.
I completed a 28 day in rehab stay with a
6 week outpatient aftercare program attached.
That was 23 yrs. ago.
My family did for me what I wasn't able
to do for myself. To get the help I so
desperately needed at that time in my
life and for that I am forever grateful.
the attempt on a dare downing a handful
of pain pills and off to bed I went, not
thinking about what the precussions or
consequences would be.
Family made some phone calls without
me present looking for guidance in what
to do with me. Because I wanted to harm
myself, it was suggested to have the authorities
to pick me up with a court order and take me to
a hospital for mental evaluation.
I spent a day and night in the phyciatric ward
taking test to see if I was mentally stable. Of
course I was stable and the result of my actions was
decribed to me as being an alcoholic addicted
to alcohol.
I completed a 28 day in rehab stay with a
6 week outpatient aftercare program attached.
That was 23 yrs. ago.
My family did for me what I wasn't able
to do for myself. To get the help I so
desperately needed at that time in my
life and for that I am forever grateful.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Oh Somba......I've been through the same thing with my son.....the beating.....the suicide threats......all of it. It absolutely tears a parent up.
At some point self preservation kicked in for me......it had to ......because his addiction was killing me. Literally. I hope and pray that self preservation kicks in for you soon......it is possible to find a sense of peace even when our adult children are spiraling in their disease.
There are lots of mothers (and fathers) here on SR who understand your despair. I hope you stick around...read.....ask questions.....and find your way to serenity.
gentlest of hugs
ke
At some point self preservation kicked in for me......it had to ......because his addiction was killing me. Literally. I hope and pray that self preservation kicks in for you soon......it is possible to find a sense of peace even when our adult children are spiraling in their disease.
There are lots of mothers (and fathers) here on SR who understand your despair. I hope you stick around...read.....ask questions.....and find your way to serenity.
gentlest of hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 2,249
Im so sorry Sombra. Probably one of the worst phone calls a parent could receive. I know how hard it is to say no but you did the right thing. Not having any money and having nothing left is what led my son to rehab. I pray this happens for your son soon. Lots of mom's and dad's here who can understand and relate. The stickies up above are very helpful if you want to take a peek and read. Just make sure to take care of you. Sounds like you are doing your best under a very stressful situation.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
It's such a desperate phone call....I have heard many, many times.
You did do the right thing and it hurts.
My daughter has threatened suicide many times. She has attempted twice. It can to a point for me when I asked her "what do you want me to do with that statement. You don't want help and you won't listen or do anything to change your circumstances. I will call the police now so that you may be hospitalized."
I felt so cold and uncaring during those last few threats...but really I feel like it's the boy who cried wolf thing. I know she is in pain. I am in pain.
You did do the right thing and it hurts.
My daughter has threatened suicide many times. She has attempted twice. It can to a point for me when I asked her "what do you want me to do with that statement. You don't want help and you won't listen or do anything to change your circumstances. I will call the police now so that you may be hospitalized."
I felt so cold and uncaring during those last few threats...but really I feel like it's the boy who cried wolf thing. I know she is in pain. I am in pain.
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