Some things never change...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 36
Some things never change...
Well, some things never change. After my "R"NAAH told me a week ago that he'd ended his affair, I find that it's simply not true. At all. His former sponsor texted me by accident that he was "very happy for you and Suzie" and "It was good seeing you." The lies just keep coming. I had stupidly allowed myself hope that things could be repaired. I had stupidly allowed myself to be manipulated into a situation that was not real. I could just kick myself repeatedly, over and over and over again. I allowed myself to be sucked into a facet of the relationship that propagates his dishonesty and my not being true to myself and my own truth. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It has been suggested to me that I contact his current sponsor and lay all of this out on the table. I don't know that that would benefit anyone since...well, why would it do anything except cause a crisis. I'm so sick.
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
CJ
I'm sorry to hear of this. Please though......don't beat yourself up! We are not "guilty" of anything for believing lies. There is nothing stupid about it. But eventually trust is simply absent from a relationship......and there is no definitive time when that happens.
I don't think it would be beneficial to contact his sponsor.....stay on your side of the street.....and take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm sorry to hear of this. Please though......don't beat yourself up! We are not "guilty" of anything for believing lies. There is nothing stupid about it. But eventually trust is simply absent from a relationship......and there is no definitive time when that happens.
I don't think it would be beneficial to contact his sponsor.....stay on your side of the street.....and take care of you.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 25
Hello - I have read through your posts, and I am sorry for what you are going through. It is painful, but you will come out of this situation much happier.
A couple of comments, what makes you think the sponsor sent the text by accident? If that recovery group is what you describe, my initial reaction, it was an attempt to start a crisis…just a thought.
As for you attending your meetings and the backlash you receive - I know exactly what you are experiencing. Again, he does not want you to move from the current position he believes he has you locked into. Not only that, I would guess he has no clue of your progress, mine did not. When I took action, (removed him from our home), he could not believe it.
They think because they continue in their addict behavior, trying to present a different appearance of recovery, that we have not changed. They still believe they can fool us and we are still falling for their old crap. Not true.
Stay strong.
A couple of comments, what makes you think the sponsor sent the text by accident? If that recovery group is what you describe, my initial reaction, it was an attempt to start a crisis…just a thought.
As for you attending your meetings and the backlash you receive - I know exactly what you are experiencing. Again, he does not want you to move from the current position he believes he has you locked into. Not only that, I would guess he has no clue of your progress, mine did not. When I took action, (removed him from our home), he could not believe it.
They think because they continue in their addict behavior, trying to present a different appearance of recovery, that we have not changed. They still believe they can fool us and we are still falling for their old crap. Not true.
Stay strong.
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