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Picking guilt or resentment?????

Old 01-04-2014, 09:13 AM
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Picking guilt or resentment?????

Often when faced with the thought of having to end a relationship we are faced with GUILT.......we feel badly leaving them when they have no job, no license, no friends and usually no contact with their own families.

Yet when we stay we are overwhelmed with RESENTMENT, the lies the manipulation the stealing, their horrid mood swings. Never knowing what we are coming home to, the constant worry about money and keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table.

GUILT is an emotion that can be worked through with knowledge and acceptance that WE didn't cause it, WE can control it and WE can't cure it. Accepting that they are exactly where they are because that is their choice and it doesn't have anything at all to do with us, even though it feels like it might.

RESENTMENT is soul suicide. To stay with them mentally rejecting them, punishing them emotionally and attempting to manipulate them into reforming them how we want them to be is truly NOT LOVING ACTS. This is when and where we discover it's really not about them them its really about US. We become self righteous we become martyers and critical of every action they take or do not take. Living a miserable slow death eating away at us each and every day.

So when the rubber meets the road and the addict/alcoholic is showing you exactly who they are and how they wish to remain........think about YOUR choices, because each and every one of us has the ability to chose.
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Old 01-04-2014, 09:37 AM
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Funny...with my husband, I felt some resentment.

My kids I have felt some guilt.

I think I have gotten over both as they are both energy zappers. Frankly, I have no energy to spare after living and dealing with addicts for years.

I have come to the conclusion that I am unwilling to accept guilt as I was a great wife and parent. Once, you are an adult it's up to you.
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