lost a friend, but she is not dead.
 

My best friend of fifteen years is gone from my life. I keep her on my Facebook because I'm afraid that if she ever does ask for help, she will call on me and I have to be there because no one else will. It's painful to watch and confusing because growing up I was the crazy one doing allllllll the drugs, talking her into doing ridiculous dangerous things. Now I'm ok, years worth of ok, and she is off her head on meth and booze, abandoned her child and has been abandoned by her family. Last year my mom and I drove her to rehab, her family refused to take her. I feel like some of this is my fault. Does she resent me for being her drug buddy? Someday soon I'm going to get a terrible phone call I can feel it.

Let go of the past......you can't change it. The absolute best thing you can do for your friend is to be a bright beacon of sobriety. Pray that she'll follow your light. You are the best kind of friend an addict can have. One who is standing on the dock or waving from the shore who will be there when/if she decides to join you.....but you won't wander into those dark and murky waters with her.

Your history with her....and your current circumstances......may be what she needs to see to begin rowing toward the shore. You survived your past....and so can she.

gentle hugs
ke