Angel1234

Well it's been three weeks since ex came over with his mother and the next day I would have a false claim called to CPS that I leave my child alone. The only news I have is they have not followed up with anyone who's information I gave them. Who knows if they will in the next week.

My ex kept trying to contact me pleading that he did not talk to CPS, that this was all his fault for letting his mom come over here and speak to the police officer, bla bla bla. It doesn't matter. Just simply having him in my life caused all of that grief.

I went into therapy last week to help myself come to grips with all the chaos that was in my life for the past few years. As I explained it all, especially the last 4 months, and I heard myself talk out loud, I was embarassed at how crazy it all sounded. Crazy what I had allowed my life to become. Crazy how I behaved. Crazy how much I allowed into my life. At the end the woman told me I wasn't crazy but my reactions were normal given the situations I had been put in. I wish I had gone to seek therapy years ago. She gave me good suggestions on how to focus on getting my sleep routine back on track. I see her again this week. Baby steps. Her suggestions have worked and when I wake up at 2 or 3 am I am able to go back to sleep.

This past week I started a journal. In it I write what I was thankful for that day. Since last week, I realized all the things I was thankful for that day were things I would NOT have done with the addict in my life, including spending time with family and friends that I never brought him around. It's been eye opening.

Last night I had my daughter in the bath and I got a call from a number I didn't recognize and answered it. It was my ex's mother of all people. My heart sank. I would not have answered if I knew who it was. Apparently she was under the assumption he and I were still together (he lied to her). Last I heard about him (we have mutual friends), he had already relapsed, somehow had a doc write him a Rx for adderall ( I can NOT believe he talked this doc into this.......they should not even have a license anymore), had some xanax on him and was snorting pills before Xmas. He had not made it more than a few weeks out of jail. Anyway, she told me they had a family emergency and she wondered if he was with me and she couldn't get a hold of him. I was shaking. The only thing I said is that I hadn't spoken to him in awhile and the last I heard he was hanging out with the old crowd and taking pills again. I told her I hoped everything was ok with their family and quickly got off the phone. I was shaking! The talk lasted a total of ONE minute.

In the past, when I heard all these things about my ex I would immediately try to track him down, see if he was ok, ask his mom to keep me updated, etc. Not this time. Not at all. I already know what he's doing. He's back to popping pills, ignoring all of the people that care about him and lying to their faces. I wonder what he will tell her when she confronts him about the drug use? Total rage and gaslighting me I'm sure. Oh well, not my problem anymore!! I can tell you this much, I won't be answering those calls anymore either.

I hope everyone had a Merry Xmas.

hopeful4

Angel...I love to hear from people who are doing such proactive things for their lives!

Good for you that you have not engaged in that codependent thinking process. I hope you and your child had a very Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

Very encouraging post!