gabriel01

I know he is using at his place right now. But it's weird, I don't feel anything. Kinda think it's funny too, is this normal? I usually feel either really worry or angry when I know he is using.
Well, it's has been over 5 days of no contact now.

Hawkeye13

That is a healthy sign.
You are finally finally beginning to detach.

You cannot control what he does and that is beginning to sink in.
Now, make some plans for the next few days with your friends and let it go.

gabriel, you deserve to be in a happy relationship with a non-addict.
You'll be amazed how great love can be without constant pain

gabriel01

This is the first night of this week I didn't have to take a sleeping pill and able to fall asleep for 6 hours. Especially when I knew he was using. I used get very upset and anxious when I knew he was using, I would went crazy, kept calling him, went over to his place, called his parents etc. But last night I thought that it was a joke and opened all the presents with my 7 y.o. (Not his daughter) after the midnight, then went to bed. Didn't have a good dream, but at this moment I can still handle it.

gabriel01

Oh, forgot to say. Last night when I went to brush my teeth and looked at the mirror, I found myself pretty again in the mirror. In the past couple years, I always doubted about it & didn't like to put makeup on. I often went to work like a zombie, luckily not many people come in to my office usually.

Tomorrow, I'm going to donate all the presents I bought him for the Christmas a month ago. God damn it, I spent $400 on all the presents. But I rather they are out of my sight instead of sitting here.

overit263

good for you gabriel! It's funny that other people can see that we are getting the life sucked out of us, and we don't see it until after the fact. I lost a ton of weight when my relationship was over, and my skin looks better and I actually had the same "I look pretty" thought in the mirror the other morning. Keep going and don't look back!