Don't think poem is appropriate for children???
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 33
Don't think poem is appropriate for children???
Ok, so my brother wrote me another poem a/b his feelings relating to his drug use & how it has affected his children. The poem is good but I am confused why he thinks they should read it...they are only 9, 12, & 14. In my opinion, they are too young to understand the depths of addiction or even how it has affected their lifes to this point. My brother has asked me to send a copy of his poem to all of them in a Christmas card. I don't feel comfortable doing this, so I have decided to send the poem addressed to their mothers & let them decide. What do all of you think? Also, how can I get across to my brother that this is not the appropriate way to communicate with his children? What needs to be said to him? PLEASE, help me. My brother gets out of prison at the end of January & he thinks he is going to stay clean but other than his time in prison, nothing has changed. Why does he think will power is going to keep him clean. Do you have any words of advice for him?
Thank you!
Here is the poem:
I know I’m the only one to blame for your loneliness
Also my fault because I wasn’t there so I could hug & kiss
Because of my selfishness, the most important things I have missed
Your life that is! I never planned for it to be like this
I’m a jerk! I know what it is like to be without a dad
Looking back its one of the worst feelings I ever had
I never new him, But you do! So for you it’s twice as bad
The opportunity I stole from you now makes me very sad
The best three days of my life are the ones when you arrived
Looking into your eyes I never felt a bigger sense of pride
Holding on to your mother, feeling the Joy of what we created
with tears in our eyes
Then dad chickened out! Then just like a punk had to run & hide
I knew you had great mothers, so that was the excuse I used
So self-absorbed I believed I was the only one being abused
I was just having “My Way” while you and your mothers were being bruised
Then I let so much time slip away. I was like what’s the use?
Then reality came along & hit me like a sucker punch
Something stuck! Something I used to think of as just a hunch
Then the weight of all I’ve done was upon me, my bones about to crunch
Worse than the feeling of eating your own medicine like a bunch of crunch-a-munch
I’m Tired! Of being the deadbeat that never helped you eat
Or the chump that wasn’t there when you fell to place you back on your feet
I am the coward that took off & made your family incomplete
Your moms are heroes!!! Your dad is the lame that couldn’t stand the heat
Tired of these truths! This time I’m going to turn all this around
Seems I’ve been lost my whole life. Now my purpose I have found
Daddys finally manning up. No longer all unwound
Finally got his mind right, & his feet on solid ground
Going to be a slow start, But I promise you “the change”
No longer!! Can this Hell I caused be how it remains
I’m finally tired of this addiction. No longer bound by these chains
PLEASE! Babys Please! Believe in me one more time I promise no complaints!!!
I Love you with all my heart!!!
Thank you!
Here is the poem:
The Promise
I know I’m the only one to blame for your loneliness
Also my fault because I wasn’t there so I could hug & kiss
Because of my selfishness, the most important things I have missed
Your life that is! I never planned for it to be like this
I’m a jerk! I know what it is like to be without a dad
Looking back its one of the worst feelings I ever had
I never new him, But you do! So for you it’s twice as bad
The opportunity I stole from you now makes me very sad
The best three days of my life are the ones when you arrived
Looking into your eyes I never felt a bigger sense of pride
Holding on to your mother, feeling the Joy of what we created
with tears in our eyes
Then dad chickened out! Then just like a punk had to run & hide
I knew you had great mothers, so that was the excuse I used
So self-absorbed I believed I was the only one being abused
I was just having “My Way” while you and your mothers were being bruised
Then I let so much time slip away. I was like what’s the use?
Then reality came along & hit me like a sucker punch
Something stuck! Something I used to think of as just a hunch
Then the weight of all I’ve done was upon me, my bones about to crunch
Worse than the feeling of eating your own medicine like a bunch of crunch-a-munch
I’m Tired! Of being the deadbeat that never helped you eat
Or the chump that wasn’t there when you fell to place you back on your feet
I am the coward that took off & made your family incomplete
Your moms are heroes!!! Your dad is the lame that couldn’t stand the heat
Tired of these truths! This time I’m going to turn all this around
Seems I’ve been lost my whole life. Now my purpose I have found
Daddys finally manning up. No longer all unwound
Finally got his mind right, & his feet on solid ground
Going to be a slow start, But I promise you “the change”
No longer!! Can this Hell I caused be how it remains
I’m finally tired of this addiction. No longer bound by these chains
PLEASE! Babys Please! Believe in me one more time I promise no complaints!!!
I Love you with all my heart!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I think it's perfectly appropriate for other fathers (my son included) who can relate to the poem. But he wants you to deliver the poem to his children? I can certainly understand your discomfort. Well......Kings used to send messengers......and the messengers often got shot. That's why the Kings didn't go themselves....lol.
Personally, I don't think it's fair of him to ask you to be the messenger to the kids or to their mother. He is using that ol' obligation and guilt stuff to manipulate you into doing his stuff........his relationship with his children is his business. His relationship with the woman(women) in his past.....his business.
The only relationships I am responsible for are the ones I have directly with an individual. I don't deliver.......anymore. (I got tired of being shot.....lol).
gentle hugs
ke
Personally, I don't think it's fair of him to ask you to be the messenger to the kids or to their mother. He is using that ol' obligation and guilt stuff to manipulate you into doing his stuff........his relationship with his children is his business. His relationship with the woman(women) in his past.....his business.
The only relationships I am responsible for are the ones I have directly with an individual. I don't deliver.......anymore. (I got tired of being shot.....lol).
gentle hugs
ke
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I think he should be the one to offer this poem along with his personal apology to his children.
Don't let yourself be put in the middle, it is time for him to own his addiction and speak for himself.
hugs
Don't let yourself be put in the middle, it is time for him to own his addiction and speak for himself.
hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 102
I'm not sure if it is appropriate for you to give to the children or their mothers. Lots of things are said and promised by inmates. It might give the children false hopes. It probably would be different if he was out of prison for a while and working on his recovery. Then, him, talking and giving this poem to the mothers would mean something. He doesn't have to give the kids a poem. He just needs to prove it with his action. Actions speak louder than words. That is what I tell my AS. Good luck. Just tell him it would be more meaningful coming from him.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 33
Thanks for all the advice. I guess I have missed the whole point....it doesn't matter whether or not the poem is appropriate, what matters is that I feel uncomfortable sending it. I changed my mind. I will mail him envelopes and Christmas cards & he can mail them .
Thanks for the wake up call!
Thanks for the wake up call!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
He makes some big promises in there....to people he has repeatedly hurt over the years. I don't think he should send these. It comes across as very self serving and self deprecating. If he wants to prove he's changed I'm all for that. But otherwise they are just more words....and like many of us on this site....his children, his x' s , are probably much more interested in actions. Just my opinion...I may be biased because I was the recipient of countless promises from my son while he was locked up. Every single one of them out the window 5 weeks later.
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