Emotional Abuse
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Seren 
Zoso, I'm so sorry that there is some risk this unfortunate woman could jeopardize your employment or attempt something to cause you that sort of physical or emotional harm. If you fear she may show up at your workplace, is there a security staff where you work that you could speak to and warn?
If she shows up at my home, I'll simply call the cops.
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Vale
Please tell me you did not neglect to congratulate the lucky groom
for winning such a great prize!
for winning such a great prize!
Congratulations. But you may need this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 311
Something shifted in me after being in an emotionally abusive relationship. It left me feeling disoriented, confused, and emotionally drained. I know fundamentally I will never be the same person I was before this last relationship. I am more on alert, more cautious, less trusting, and less available. I would like to believe that is temporary and that with time, self-care, and recovery I will be able to let love in again. I know my ex will likely never let me go and so I have to protect myself. I hope you are able to protect yourself from any further insults so you can move on in peace and find love again one day with a healthy partner when the time is right.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Hi Zo,
Emotional abuse decribes it perfectly.
It is an assault, passive aggressive, it is also a form of violence in my mind.
I recieved many of these attacks after breaking up with my x, he too has bpd.
Emails, phone messages, texts, you name it, any way he could come at me he did, I'd block him he would get through somehow.
BPD is an attachment issue, and I wonder if they ever really detach, important people in their lives, whether they are split black or white, are always in the mind of people with bpd, when they think of us it triggers them and they become disregulated, that is when the bad behavior steps in, and it does get inside our deep unconsciousness. The attack is meant to hurt.
I haven't been contacted in anyway for a long time, the last contact was a list of ill wishes he had for me.
I hope you get breast cancer,
I hope your dog dies,
to name a few.
It is traumatizing and shocking, and it makes me sick, it is not something I can just skip over.
Thankfully it has been a very long time since I have been attacked, but some days if a thought about it crosses my mind it raises fear in me, something I have learned to be compassionate with myself over.
i'm so sorry you were attacked in this way, very sorry.
Take good care, Katie xo
Emotional abuse decribes it perfectly.
It is an assault, passive aggressive, it is also a form of violence in my mind.
I recieved many of these attacks after breaking up with my x, he too has bpd.
Emails, phone messages, texts, you name it, any way he could come at me he did, I'd block him he would get through somehow.
BPD is an attachment issue, and I wonder if they ever really detach, important people in their lives, whether they are split black or white, are always in the mind of people with bpd, when they think of us it triggers them and they become disregulated, that is when the bad behavior steps in, and it does get inside our deep unconsciousness. The attack is meant to hurt.
I haven't been contacted in anyway for a long time, the last contact was a list of ill wishes he had for me.
I hope you get breast cancer,
I hope your dog dies,
to name a few.
It is traumatizing and shocking, and it makes me sick, it is not something I can just skip over.
Thankfully it has been a very long time since I have been attacked, but some days if a thought about it crosses my mind it raises fear in me, something I have learned to be compassionate with myself over.
i'm so sorry you were attacked in this way, very sorry.
Take good care, Katie xo
●▬๑۩۩๑▬●
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,405
I’m sure everyone has been through the ending of a relationship. Hopefully, most of the time we can remain friendly or casually acquainted with the other party. But, when the breakup is cruel, as in your case, other than an outright apology, any further contact initiated by the other party is an attempt to harass. You don’t intentionally shred someone’s emotions and put their career in jeopardy and then think that sending vacation or wedding photos months or years later is going to be received well. And, I don’t see that you are caught up in victim thinking. Over the course of the past couple years, I think you’ve taken ownership for your part. Once someone has been stalked or harassed for months or years after being traumatized, I think any contact from the other party is going to bring about a fight/flight response. The why’s are obvious, the getting past it takes time…time away from the whatever/whoever that caused the trauma.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
Zoso, your ex reminds me so much of my ex. After the last and final time we broke up I found out that he used to use pics of me and us to harass one of his ex's. And after that, he did the same with me by sending me pics of him and other women.
Like someone told me here one of the first times I share my experiences: addicts are users, they use drugs and they use people. And it is on our hands to don't let them use us.
Like you said, possibly she wants to feel desired again by you or simply to hurt you, because some people just enjoy that so much.
After blocking my ex from everything I also got scared of him showing at my door to harass me in person. But now I don't worry anymore, that is already giving him power to control my thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears. If that day comes, the police will be the one recieving him.
Don't let her get push your buttons. She doesn't even deserve your anger.
Like someone told me here one of the first times I share my experiences: addicts are users, they use drugs and they use people. And it is on our hands to don't let them use us.
Like you said, possibly she wants to feel desired again by you or simply to hurt you, because some people just enjoy that so much.
After blocking my ex from everything I also got scared of him showing at my door to harass me in person. But now I don't worry anymore, that is already giving him power to control my thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears. If that day comes, the police will be the one recieving him.
Don't let her get push your buttons. She doesn't even deserve your anger.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Zoso, her actions and behaviour are threatening to you, no matter what your feelings for her are or are not. She is acting in a sick way and personally, I never underestimate the power of a person like that.
Keep yourself safe always, post here as often as you want to work through your feelings about these sick actions, and take whatever action you need to take to keep her away from you. She sounds dangerous, please don't let your guard down.
Hugs
Keep yourself safe always, post here as often as you want to work through your feelings about these sick actions, and take whatever action you need to take to keep her away from you. She sounds dangerous, please don't let your guard down.
Hugs
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