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Locked up....

Old 12-12-2013, 07:11 PM
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Locked up....

Hello SR friends!

My young adult children are both locked up now....my son is in jail for a warrant. My daughter has checked herself into the hospital at a chemical dependency unit. She is addicted to synthetic marijuana.

Both of my children have been addicted to synthetic marijuana due to skirting around probation (not tested). My daughter is currently on probation and started it when she had the drug patch and breathalyzer requirement.

They haven't been living with me as I had booted them out...again. I was resolved to let them be homeless. They have struggled along on their own.

My daughter contacted me today and asked if i could watch her dog while she checked herself in. She said she was going in for suicidal thoughts . I found a note, when she dropped the dog off...it says she going into the chemical dependency side. "I am ready to quit messing up and finally be 100% sober and healthy minded" was part of the note.

I find it amazing that she couldn't tell me, on the phone, why she was going...even though every single time I kicked her out was for the synthetic.
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Old 12-12-2013, 07:38 PM
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It great that your daughter is going for help. But I think an interesting part of her not is, "I'm sorry for messing up..." There is that old saying that "she is a sick person trying to get well not a bad person trying to be good." I believe that addicts stay stuck in their madness because they think they are just bad people in general.
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Old 12-13-2013, 03:30 AM
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(((TX))) you must be somewhat relieved knowing where they both are. It's wonderful that your daughter is checking herself in voluntarily. Hopefully that's a step in the right direction! Has your son ever been in jail before? It was a wake up call for my daughter.
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Old 12-13-2013, 05:45 PM
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TX, great news about your daughter! It sounds like she is at the end of the line and ready to seek help and get well. I applaud the strength it must have taken her. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been. Will pray for healing and recovery for her. Maybe now that your son is in jail, he will do some hard thinking as well. You are getting the best present ever!
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Old 12-14-2013, 11:57 AM
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I feel like a mess... I am not sure why. I think it has to do with my kids being locked up in different ways. Yes, I do feel somewhat relieved but this isn't there first time at either place.

Jail...they've both been locked up everal times. My son contacted me this a.m. He only admits to synthetic and nothing else. My daughter describes things differently and even was told that he tried heroin recently with a "friend" and almost died (quit breathing). He denies. Said he had his nose broke in the holding cell and was taken to the hospital. I don't know what to believe and really don't know if it all THAT important.

My daughter seems better. She is seeing the new psychiatrist in town (she's in psych hospital voluntarily)...supposedly with a good reputation. She told me that she was using it all the last few weeks (cocaine; meth; hydro; synthetic etc). She didn't cross the heroin line and told me her brother did. I tend to believe her. She did check her in and wants a healthier life-100% sober. She has the tools and she knows it.

I will visit her today. She said that she has a probation review coming on Tuesday (Dec 17th) for missing a breathalyzer times (supposed to be x4 a day). She never came up positive but she has been given many chances. She is prepared is be locked up but has asked to stay with me for a bit until she figures out if she is going to jail. May be a week or so? I didn't say yes or no. I want to talk more to her about it.

What do you guys think? I am thinking of allowing her to stay temporary until she figures out if jail is off/on the table. If she isn't going to jail then she may go to sober living or her choice?
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Old 12-14-2013, 04:33 PM
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Wow TX lots going on but your daughter sounds like she wants help. Why cant they send her to rehab? I would not want my son coming home from a hospital only because I would be afraid it would be too easy for him to say all this then come home and then not do what he said. Personally I would want rehab or sober living for my child where others can monitor her and help her. Are you prepared or equipped to do this? Do you really want to take this one? I hope your visit went well and she chooses to go somewhere to get help. HUGS
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Old 12-14-2013, 06:28 PM
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My son isn't coming to my home after jail. Sober living or whereever?

My daughter has been through rehab a few times. This stay is for a detox and psych (depression-S/I). I visited her today. She seems well but reports a lot of body movement and said probably getting off of synthetic. I did notice some of the movement.

I haven't crossed the temp. stay with my husband. I am learning toward that until she find outs what her consequences will be regarding her breathalyzer. I am good with my boundaries and will kick her out if she uses etc.
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Old 12-15-2013, 09:32 PM
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My daughter is doing well at the hospital. Today was a good visit and probably my last...she is really doing a change in how she sees her treatment. Previous hospitalization she should have been using street drugs again...she was high on RX meds when she left! Nothing like leaving the hospital a zombie!

This hospitalization she checked herself in to detox and get on the right meds. She told the doctor that she wanted to be herself and not a zombie and to not get into the addictive pharmas. She is her own advocate and I am very proud of her decisions thus far. She is at a different hospital than last.

She was told that she can stay with us after her release from the hospital for a temporary stay. She is a guest and we will figure out the longevity of her stay. This is to get her a place until probation review. She realizes that she has made promises prior....

I spend my evening deciding how to respond to my son when he is released from jail. I am packing a backpack with toiletries, change of clothes, and some information on resources. I will give him a ride from jail to a shelter or friends house. This is so painful, for me, as I know he will be sober leaving jail and feel the pain of my rejection. He will understand it but nontheless...it goes again mothering! My daughter tells me that she shouldn't be around him and he is a pretty severe user of drugs. She is afraid of his death. Aren't we all?

Some Christmas season....
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:11 AM
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((TX)) It's hard when you have two to worry about. Anyway, we all learn from our experiences eventually, so I am glad that your D seems to want a different outcome from this hospitalization than she had last time. Hopefully, you son will figure things out too.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:09 PM
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I just want to say you are really strong and I admire your strength. Hugs to you. It sounds like your daughter is trying very hard. I hope she is able to stay away from her prior friends who she did drugs with. It sounds like she wants recovery for herself and to have a better life, that is usually the key. I will keep all of you in my prayers!
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:01 PM
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Thank you for your responses. For some reason, her voice is different from the other times. It's more mature and resolute and peaceful. God works in mysterious ways. She is better than last year. Her faith remains and she has reconnected in the last year with God.

She is very tired of her life and how it's been. When she went to this small hospital on the edge of town, she saw an ER doctor to get her initial physical. She stated that he had broken English. He asked her "are you a Christian" and she said "yes." He went on to tell her bible stories of hope and faith. She said "mom, I was so sad when I went in and he shared something priceless...the gift of God and reaching out to others. He took the time for me." She said the ER was very quiet...early morning.

My child is strong despite her brokenness. She is seeing a light where darkness was last year. It's been slow and I haven't always trusted God. Either has she. Silly us. No matter what happens...if she uses again or not I need to learn to be faithful and with that is patience.
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:10 PM
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TX I have tears in my eyes reading this. Despite the worry of your son (and I sure do understand no matter what he is still YOUR child, your baby), your daughter sounds like she has matured and learned a lot. She has come to see God is here for her and will help her through this. What a great example the ER doctor was. Thank God for him! I will say prayers for her to have strength to get through this. She sounds strong and resolute! Maybe your son will see this and decide to go as well. We cab pray for this. With God there is always hope. In this Christmas season I am focusing as much as possible on relying on Him. Thank you for the update TX. i know the good new sis bittersweet as you still have your son to deal with. hang in there Momma! God has brought one to lite. Trust he will bring your son as well.
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Old 12-17-2013, 07:06 AM
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My son contacted me early this morning. It seems that he is released from jail and I agree to pick him up at 3:30 am. I told him in the conversation that he needs to find a place to stay. We will see...
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Old 12-17-2013, 01:37 PM
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Praying it will all work out TX! You are very strong!
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Old 12-17-2013, 03:19 PM
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TX.. I really do understand what you're going through right now. My AD is getting out of jail Thursday. She has been praying and even reads the bible I sent her. My son was kicked out of our home 2 weeks ago for popping pills, smoking weed and whatever he's doing. My husband wants him to come home if he "changes his lifestyle". (He's in denial). And my AD is sad because she knows she will have to distance herself from him (they are extremely close).

Hang in there. Keep the boundaries! You sound strong like you're in an ok place... (As ok as we can be dealing with this)
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:27 PM
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Jens our paths are connected! My kids are close but cant be around each other until they have been healthy for a good amount of time.

My son found a place to stay tonight....he packed a backpackers and left. I knowhe was sober today and looked well. However this isn't the first time that he comes out of jail or hospital or rehabilitate and looks good...only to succumb to the beast. Its a relief when hes gone but I still feel bad. Ugh!

My daughter is ready to come home from the hospital. She appears ready for a sober life. Time will tell...I am tired.

I told her that I was tired...had picked up her brother from jail early am and had area hours of sleep. "You don't live ina bubble. What happens to you affects me...I told her."
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