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Old 12-10-2013, 10:23 AM
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Today's Lesson

The addict/Borderline texted me.

Again.

And I'm not surprised in the slightest. Why? Because when you convolve the warped thinking of an addict with Borderline Personality Disorder, there is a level of predictability that goes hand in hand with the madness.

In this case, my AXGF wants to get me going and provoke me into doing into something stupid.

The lesson learned is to never, ever be surprised by what an addict or someone with a character disorder does. They're capable of anything. And since they're capable of anything, we always need to be on guard.

ZoSo
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:09 AM
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I understand you were put through hell and have a right to your feelings. But I would ask that you try to stop using her diagnosis with such hatred and disdain (borderline)It could very well offend many posters on the boards who share that diagnosis ( a surprisingly large percentage of the population) who are working on recovery from it.
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Old 12-10-2013, 11:13 AM
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And to add it is not a character disorder, it is a maladaptive way of coping. It can be severely damaging to those around if not treated and actively worked on, just like addiction. I do understand she caused you tremendous pain, but please keep what I just wrote in mind.
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Old 12-10-2013, 01:26 PM
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TangerinePuddle,

My intention was not to belittle those who suffer from BPD. I do not have have disdain for those with BPD. However, I do have complete, total, utter, irrevocable disdain for my AXGF. And respectfully, I have every right to express that disdain within the boundaries of the acceptable posting practices here on SR.

You can do a search through my post history for yourself if you're interested in my story. But I'd be curious to know how you'd react to someone breaking up with you via text message and a picture of that person with their new love. Or how you'd react to someone that admits with glee that they cheated on you multiple times. Or how you'd react getting a text message that contains a photo of the exchange of rings at your ex's wedding. Yeah, I got that last one almost 4 months ago, and it's been nearly two years since we broke up.

There are also things that she did that I can't discuss in this forum that go beyond me simply being hurt badly.

This really isn't the place to discuss whether BPD is a character disorder, but what I will say is my clinician, who is both a CBT/DBT specialist and an addictions specialist, feels BPD is a character disorder. And based on my own reading and research, I concur with that assessment.

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Old 12-10-2013, 02:23 PM
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Zoso.....I figured she had long been blocked from contacting you. Or does she simply keep changing phone numbers?
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Old 12-10-2013, 02:46 PM
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Originally Posted by Seren View Post
Zoso.....I figured she had long been blocked from contacting you. Or does she simply keep changing phone numbers?
The blocks expire after X amount of time.

I should speak with my provider about a permanent block. But that doesn't prevent her from escalating if she's in the mood.
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Old 12-10-2013, 04:10 PM
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If you have an iPhone there's a new way to block from your phone now as well that doesn't expire, instead of counting on your carrier.
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Old 12-10-2013, 04:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Angel1234 View Post
If you have an iPhone there's a new way to block from your phone now as well that doesn't expire, instead of counting on your carrier.
Thanks for the heads up.

Just did it...
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Old 12-10-2013, 04:32 PM
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I had to do the iPhone block as well. Doesn't her new significant other dislike her contacting you? Or I guess he has no clue since she is so manipulative. The fun things to look forward to! Mine emails still but acts like he didn't do anything. Sorry zoso, it's never fun.
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Old 12-10-2013, 04:44 PM
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Sorry you are still going through this years later. I would call it stalking. have you ever made a no contact order against her? You can if she continues to harass you. I know many people with Bipolar and borderline personality disorder. Your statement did not sound mean spirited nor hateful towards a select group. I think sometimes people can be sensitive to certain issues. I didnt feel you were being hurtful or mean towards any group but your aexgf.
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Old 12-10-2013, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by overit263 View Post
I had to do the iPhone block as well. Doesn't her new significant other dislike her contacting you? Or I guess he has no clue since she is so manipulative. The fun things to look forward to! Mine emails still but acts like he didn't do anything. Sorry zoso, it's never fun.
The last time I got something from her was this past summer, and I didn't even look at it until today. It was a picture from her wedding.

Setting aside, for a moment, she's pathologically ill, what is the purpose of this? Since she left me for another addict, one would think that she's so blissfully happy and in love that the likes of me wouldn't even cross her mind. And yet every so often, I get pinged, and each message/picture is more provocative than the last.

So what's next? A video of her and her husband in flagrante? Midgets? Farm animals?

As Neil Peart says in Rush's "Wish Them Well":

Thank your stars you're not that way
Turn your back and walk away
Don't even pause and ask them why
Turn around and say goodbye

ZoSo
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Old 12-10-2013, 05:01 PM
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Mine is a bipolar addict. I think the dual diagnosis just lessens the chances of their recovery. I might be wrong but that's how it seems in my XAH's case.

They like to torment. Especially if she's twisted it in her head like you did something wrong. Mine swears I'm the reason for his misery and why he uses. I laughed right at him for that one. Mine is very self serving and has some serious delusional sense of entitlement. I'm sure I will get some of what you're getting. Can't wait.

The lyrics don't lie, I am SO thankful I'm not a bipolar addict. It's not good for the person that has it, nor for the people that suffer from their actions and words.
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Old 12-10-2013, 05:21 PM
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Originally Posted by overit263 View Post
Mine is a bipolar addict. I think the dual diagnosis just lessens the chances of their recovery. I might be wrong but that's how it seems in my XAH's case.

They like to torment. Especially if she's twisted it in her head like you did something wrong. Mine swears I'm the reason for his misery and why he uses. I laughed right at him for that one. Mine is very self serving and has some serious delusional sense of entitlement. I'm sure I will get some of what you're getting. Can't wait.

The lyrics don't lie, I am SO thankful I'm not a bipolar addict. It's not good for the person that has it, nor for the people that suffer from their actions and words.
Bipolar is a chemical disorder, a real chemical imbalance in the brain that can make it difficult to regulate moods. Addicts will turn to alcohol, drugs, or both in order to self medicate.

BPD, on the other hand, is cognitive carnage going on between the ears. Those afflicted with it really have to go through intense cognitive behavioral therapy if they want to get better.

Combine either with addiction, and look out. That said, I feel more empathy for someone who's Bipolar. They didn't ask for it, and without the proper medication, they really can't regulate their own moods (assuming meds have any effect at all)...
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Old 12-10-2013, 05:36 PM
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what is the purpose of this?
Well.....I think......for what it's worth......that you have managed to get under her skin in some way.......and in her skewed manner of thinking, perhaps she's trying to get you back. This means that she's allowing you to rent a whole lot of space in her head for nothing.

I'm not sure that you should be flattered though.......

gentle hugs
ke
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Old 12-10-2013, 05:48 PM
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Zoso, your recovery is shining. If she doesn't get a response sooner or later she will finally give up.

Well done on sidestepping her and seeing this for what it is.

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Old 12-10-2013, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Kindeyes View Post
Well.....I think......for what it's worth......that you have managed to get under her skin in some way.......and in her skewed manner of thinking, perhaps she's trying to get you back. This means that she's allowing you to rent a whole lot of space in her head for nothing.

I'm not sure that you should be flattered though.......

gentle hugs
ke
More like horrified, KE.

Love,
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Old 12-10-2013, 06:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Ann View Post
Zoso, your recovery is shining. If she doesn't get a response sooner or later she will finally give up.

Well done on sidestepping her and seeing this for what it is.

Hugs
I'm not so sure of that, Ann. But I hope you're right.
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Old 12-10-2013, 06:36 PM
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I hate it when we still allow them to upset/aggravate us.
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Old 12-10-2013, 07:47 PM
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i know this isnt a tech page but how do you block on the iphone? i have a 5s and have seen the option but i though it only sent the phone to voicemail and didnt block txts.

and why does she keep contacting you?what does she have to gain?she would have to be a pretty evil person to get such pleasure out f ing with you
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Old 12-10-2013, 08:11 PM
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Settings
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Blocked
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