Angel1234

They already came to my home. In our state, they have to in 24 hours. The CPS agent called me and she was on her way to my home. My ex knew I had taken the day off work so he knew I was home. Normally I would have been at worked so I was surprised when she called telling me she was down the street. She was not a bully at all. I was more than welcoming. It was humiliating but I know she was doing her job. She even had to check the pantry to see if I had food in the house and ran the sink to see if I had hot water!

I gave her a tour of my home. Of course, I had food, heat, hot water, etc and my house was spotless. My sister even joked that any time she comes over I have zero alcohol in my home and I never have anything to offer anyone to drink! I have to remember that even on her way out, she commented on a black and white picture of my mom from decades ago that was by my front door and asked if it were me and I giggled. She looked down at my daughter, smiled and said, you all have alot of pictures in the house. She was referring to all the great family pics on my walls in nice frames and on my fridge.

I was honest with her. Told her I broke up with him and told her his record. I answered all her questions honestly. She asked where I worked and I gave her all the phone numbers she asked for. I even told her I was going out of two for work today and tomorrow and gave her my sisters number where my daughter will be.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. This too shall pass.

Fandy

I just read your "rock bottom" post from November 3

Carlotta

Cynical One wrote a great post about No Contact, I hope it will help
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4337842
Also, if you have not blocked him yet, download the free app Mr Number so you can block his texts and his calls Mr. Number - Identify spammers and block calls & texts on your mobile phone

Angel1234

Yes - the rock bottom post when it should have been the end. . . when I found out he was in jail. Instead, I let him call me and was supportive towards him while in jail because he seemed to understand that all of this was his fault, that he had a good plan, that he was seeing a therapist when he got out, etc.

I have already blocked all of his texts and calls.

Great post by the way.

PurpleWilder

BTW, calling CPS when there is nothing going on - just doing it out of pure spite - is against the law. Keep that in mind if this happens again.....

jat14

Hi Angel .. sorry you had to go through this ..but you really had to go through this to see what a mistake it is to allow this in your life. This event scaring the sh**t out of you was a good thing. You don't realize it now but it is. It's a divine intervention to wake up and not ever allow an addict anywhere near you or your daughter. He may say he's clean but he is still engaged in addict behavior which is a tactic to intimidate and manipulate. Thank your lucky stars that this didn't go another way... good luck and God bless

Eddiebuckle

Angel, my girlfriend works for CPS and I can tell you that regardless who called them, they have to follow up on the report. The call may have been made by the police, they are required to report situations where a child may be in danger even if they don't believe the person providing the information is credible. Many of the calls CPS fields are bogus attempts to get revenge or cause problems - it's an unfortunate situation, but CPS is accustomed to this and if they were to talk to your ex, they would also have access to his criminal background (and any CPS reports related to his family).

I know this is upsetting, but do not try to manipulate the process, just let them do their job. Tell them the truth about that night, and your relationship with this man and his history. CPS will almost certainly close out the case and that will be the end of it. However, the closed report will remain in their records. It may seem unfair for there to be a permanent record of this non-incident, but the truth is you allowed this person into your and your daughters lives, he has a criminal history and history of drug use. However small it may have been (I don't know the man so I can only say it that way), you did put your daughter at risk by having him in your life.

Don't obsess about it. Live, learn, and be good to yourself and your daughter... you both deserve better than this.

Angel1234

Thanks Eddie. I agree with you completely that I did put my daughter at risk by letting him into my life. That is what my family and my friends have been trying to tell me. I never thought his family would do this. I do know it was his mother that called them. He admitted it by saying he was sorry this was happening and his mom was scared when she heard my daughter crying in the house (well yea, because you were banging on the door, ringing the doorbell non stop and the dog was barking like crazy and I was in bed with them trying to calm everyone down!). He had also left threatening messages that night on my phone saying they were calling CPS and accusing me of horrible things. Stupidest thing I did was delete that voicemail. Smartest thing I did was finally listen to it awhile later so that I can call the police to come to my phone, see my home, see my condition, speak to me about what was going on, explain his history and why I didn't answer the door, etc. and give me a case number which I could hand over to the CPS agent.

I did tell the agent the truth about him. I told her that I broke up with him last spring and we were separated for many months because I found out he was using again and we were supposed to leave to go out of town together with my daughter and I refused to let him go with us so I broke up with him then and didn't speak to him for months. She knows he just went to jail last month for drugs.

My daughters fathers parents are both attorneys and he and I have spoken about this quite a bit. I just want this to all go away right now and let it play out over the next month like you said. However, after it is all said and done I need to read the agents report and recommendation (I'm assuming I will be notified?), read the police reports from the other night and if this is going to be a permanent part of any record, I need to go through the necessary legal steps to have it removed if possible. I hate to try and fight this person legally. I just want him and his family to go away. My ex even went as far that night to leave on his voicemail that "my parents have alot more money than you to fight you in court so you better get ready!"

So stupid. Fight me for what exactly? It is all so dramatic. Regardless, you are right. I did let this person into my daughters life, yo-yo-ing in and out and now my daugther has to hear once again she will not see him and she had to endure the CPS agent in my home and my neighbors had to see the police at my house. It's all just so sick.

glitterdeva

You are so lucky that the father of your daughter is on the same page with you. If he wasn't, you would be in trouble Speaking from exeperience here Look at the bright side - this is resolved, you are NOT losing your daughter, you got lucky, and you can move on. CPS will not charge you with anything, do not worry.

hopeful4

I had an experience this past summer where my nephew made up a big story about his dad (my sister's husband) because he wanted to move back with his mom. Come to find out his mom was behind the entire thing.

That being said, CPS got involved and I have to say, I was quite impressed. She was able to see through the "BS" quite quickly. She called and spoke with me since she wanted to speak to someone else who spends time with them. She actually told me she knew even when she read the report it was not true. Give them credit where credit it due.

It makes me so mad that CPS had to take time away from a case they would truly be needed on to come and investigate you for some bogus claim. What a waste of their time. I do truly hope you see how toxic the situation has become for this to happen. Protect your child by keeping this creep out of your lives.

Stucco

I don't know that it is wise to try to get this report deleted. In the end it will show well for you and poorly for him. If he or his family ever pull anything like this again, it will show a pattern that could be used to establish a no contact order.