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-   -   Made a huge mistake !!!! (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-substance-abusers/315571-made-huge-mistake.html)

katie44 12-06-2013 10:30 AM

Made a huge mistake !!!!
 
Hi All havent been on SR in some time. A small update AS was well. He was living on his own for the first time in a very long time he was standing on his own two feet, and in recovery. Last April AS breached his probation, got in to an argument with his gf supposedly pushed her and he ended up in jail. I did not want to post bail, my husband did, if not he would loose his job etc.. He and his GF did not have a very healthy relationship. Fast forward since April has been a nightmare, his gf who there in a no contact order has been calling, texting, driving by the house. AS lost his job due to cutbacks. He does not go to court until Feb. When we first posted bail we thought it would be 3 months not nearly a year. We have tried him working for us ? no thanks ! His room is a disgrace, his moods are off the wall, extrememly rude at times. I believe he is smoking crack again of course he denies it. It is typical chaos, I thought I had come so far in my own recovery, posting his bail I now know was not the right thing to do. We want him to leave. If I pull his bail he goes back to Jail until February. We have asked him to get another bail holder, he has not. Since he lost his job a month ago he is home most days. My husband cant stand him being at our work place. Yesterday I come home from work he was sleeping with the dog a boxer that was at 6:00 pm he still had not gotten up to take her for a run. At 9:00 pm I went up told him to get up take the dog out to the washroom. he flipped out told me to get the F out of his room. I took the dog out and for a walk. This is his dog wich we also took in. He actually is very good to her. My spouse is miserable having him in the house, as I am. Just want my home back. Think he is drinking too cleaning out the garage on the weekend and found 3 beer cans. He said they were there from a few years ago? living with him everything is in question. Sorry for such a long posting. At my wits end.

Ann 12-06-2013 11:14 AM


My husband cant stand him being at our work place. Yesterday I come home from work he was sleeping with the dog a boxer that was at 6:00 pm he still had not gotten up to take her for a run. At 9:00 pm I went up told him to get up take the dog out to the washroom. he flipped out told me to get the F out of his room. I took the dog out and for a walk. This is his dog wich we also took in.
Hi Katie, I'm sorry you're going through this and that things have gone south with your son. :hug:

Trust your instincts Katie, he's probably using and has definitely breached his bail conditions, so why not let him wait this out in jail? Yes, he'll raise hell and be angry but is that any worse than things as they are now?

You home is your safe place, Katie, you gave him a chance and he blew it. It's time for him to move on. He did this to himself, you aren't doing it "to him".

And...bless you for taking care of the poor dog.

Hugs

Raider 12-06-2013 11:43 AM

Wow. I'm sorry. Only you know the right thing to do. Hugs and prayers to you Katie.


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