tjp613

My son is 23 now and has been addicted to heroin for 2 years (and other things before that). It seems like an eternity. I'm 90% detached but we still check in with each other about once a week. He's homeless, penniless, and feeling pretty hopeless. He never asks for anything, he just likes to here his mother's voice sometimes. I stopped giving advice long ago, I only remind him that he is loved and tell him I hope he chooses a better life soon.

We live in the south so the weather is still mild--for now. I know I will be filled with anxiety in the months to come, but I'll be OK. I just put it up on a shelf and try not to be consumed by it. Of course, the dark heaviness on my heart never really goes away and when I let my mind "go there" I feel like it won't be long now....

I don't post here much anymore or even read...... it's just too hard. But I always pray every day for all the addicts and their familes who suffer, and most of all my friends here on SR.

God Bless and take care.

Impurrfect

(((tjp))) - I'm sorry your son is still out there, but I am glad to "see" you. I think my stepsister is also back on heroin.

Love, hugs and prayers,

Amy

suki44883

I remember you, tjp. It's good to hear from you and you and your son are in my prayers. (((HUGS)))

lizwig

I remember you as well. I'm sorry your son is still suffering, mine is too. All we can do is pray they choose a better life someday. It's a powerless feeling. I find great comfort here...perhaps you should check in with us more often. I know many could benefit from your ESH and in helping others we help ourselves. Big hug to you today...it's hard to keep the faith sometimes.

Seren

Hi tjp,

Sending hugs for your hurting heart today, and prayers for you and your son.

Raider

I cannot even imagine what you and lizwig go through. The anguish and pain you must feel. It hurts me to read your post. I wish I could give you hugs and tell you all is ok. But the hug might help, but your heartache will continue. Prayers to you. ��

chicory

(((TJP))) I think of you often sweetie. Just day before yesterday, was wondering how you are. Our mom hearts are connected in ways not spoken. I am sorry your son is not in recovery yet, and I will pray for him to find a safe bottom, and see the truth.

I am not so good at the tough love, but all situations are different, and we have to do what we feel is right for us and them. I hope you are getting support somehow?

take care and thanks for checking in. it is good to see you again, but sad that things are not better.

love and hugs
chicory

Dee74

I'm glad to see you too tjp - prayers for you and all your family.

D

Ilovemysonjj

Dearest TJP, I have missed "hearing" from you. I so understand as we all do how hard it is to detach. You know my backstory. It was HELL for three years and any day it could become that once again. I am praying for your continued peace, support and hope for your son.
God has a plan, we aren't always the main character in that plan are we?
Hugs,
Teresa

LoveMeNow

((((TJP))))

I have missed you and your ESH. Keeping you and your family in my prayers!!

Ann

TJP, you and your son are in my daily prayers, of course I remember you.

I'm sorry your son isn't quite ready yet but glad you are able to detach with love. It's nice you hear from him once a week or so. He may be more ready than you think.

Big hugs from this mama's heart to yours.

Vale

Forget you,tjp?

Where the hell do you think you are?
Sober Recovery or Selectively Recalled?????

God Bless you .........and your son. I don't pretend to understand a Mom's pain.
Mine was goddamned painful enough with a near stranger. We come here to share,
to encourage,to hope...or maybe just to remember hoping.

But to think/imply that we FORGOT about you?!?!

.......THATS a good way to get your ass kicked
around here!

overit263

If I ever won the lottery, what I wouldn't give to send all the addicts we love to a place (mars maybe?) where they can't use because there isn't anything to use and no way to get something to use. Wouldn't that be wonderful? I'm sorry that you have to live with a heavy heart. I'm sorry for all of the good moms out there that do have to live with that worry in their hearts.

greeteachday

Glad you checked in ((((TJP))) You and your son remain in my prayers.

GardenMama

TJP, you were among the first to reply to my call for help a year and a half ago...I won't ever forget you, my dear. I send love and empathy. My RAD is on the road again with her RABF, and I fear the worst but hope for the best for them...using or not, they seem driven and haunted to just keep moving, moving, moving, never sitting still long enough to -- what? What I want and think is best? Probably. It is so HARD to be both loving and detached and then be expected to not worry. You and your son are in my prayers. Thanks again for your kind words and wisdom when I joined SR. Peace!

needingabreak

TJP I am fairly new here but wanted to tell you my heart goes out to you and I too pray every night for all families, especially the SR families, who have to deal with any family members who are addicts. Having an addicted child is so heart breaking. What we wouldn't give or do to have them be "normal." I pray your son decides he is ready for help and tired of the life he leads. I am glad at least you are able to hear from him once a week. God Bless you TJP. I hope you come around more often. I don't know what I would do without the people here.

HealingWillCome

tjp, I remember you. I was away from SR for a couple of years and returned recently. It's good to 'see' an old friend. Please find some peace in knowing that you and your son are in my prayers. Someone once told me that a mother is only as happy as her least happy child. I am constantly awed by the parents in our F&F 'family' at SR. The grace, strength, and courage that you share...well, I don't know what to say except that I am inspired and heartbroken by your stories at the same time. I understand when you say it's too hard to read here. So please know that whether we 'see' you around or not, you are covered in prayer. Hugs to you.

Lotusangel

Hello tjp, I don't know you but glad you have stopped by to get much needed help from many F&F here who do care and feel your pain. My son, too, is addicted to heroin. I try to be detached but can't help to worry. I try not to let my mind wander too far off jumping to conclusions; it's a one day at a time thing for me. My son currently lives in a condo we own. I believe if he couldn't live there, he would be homeless because I cannot allow him to move back in with us at home. Sometimes I wonder about all the possibilities and all the hopes and dreams I have for him. I know I can't change him and I have accepted that. I go to sleep every night praying for a better day and for him to wake up and realize that addiction is not for him. I often think about all the families out there suffering and I pray for us all. Stay strong

sojourner

Hi TJP: Glad you checked in. I remember you. My son has been at this a long time also, and I find that I get on this site to read mostly and reply to some threads sometimes. But I just don't linger on this site like I used to....

A thought that reflects me:

Waiting is our destiny. As creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for, we wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light. We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write. We wait for a "not yet" that feels like a "not ever." Waiting is the hardest work of hope.
Lewis Smeades

Prayers for you and yours.

Sojourner

MsPINKAcres

((tjp))

hello friend ~

thanks for checking in ~ glad you taking care of you & grateful that your program allows you to detach with love and still keep in contact with your son.

Today as far as I know, my daughter is in recovery but I remember so many times when she wasn't ~ when she was in the same place as your son and i would spend time with her ~ I would say

"I will be grateful for the here & now. I will accept what is today and not allow what could or may happen ruin this moments joy."

I know you do the same when you talk to him.

continued prayers for him & for you!

pink hugs always!