Twofish

Good Morning SR, I'm back and have missed everyones daily messages and do appreciate all the warm prayers for health recovery of my older RADs accident. Anyway, she was discharged on Friday night to my care. Some very serious injuries I am responsible to take care of AND some serious medications I am to give her. We went to our local PCP (personal are physician) today because the pain was becoming unbearable! He ordered liquid Oxycodone 50mg/ml, in a 30ml supply, and he knows she is a recovering addict, that's a lot of opiates, in addition to her 50mg/day of her scheduled liquid Methadone. So we get home with the Oxycodone and I keep it locked up. She's mad now, cause she wants to keep the narcotics in her room next to her, along wit the syringes and tubing for feeding her.(her jaw is wired shut for the next 8 weeks) So what's my question? Would you let her keep the Oxycodone next to her? This is the DOC before the Heroin, hence the Methadone. She desires sobriety so badly! I just have that gut feeling us mamas get, will this tempt temptation? Would you leave the meds in her room? They are in her black Methadone, lock box, secure. She is upset cause she thinks I don't trust her an am treating her like an addict. I'm not BTW. The younger RAD is up north, hours away from the pain meds, so let's give this mama, exhausted mama some much needed advice. Also I'm sorry this is so long, but you know me by now, I journal instead of coming right out with it! It's good to be home. I shall await your advise. TF

Jend719

Hi twofish. I missed something in all my drama. I had no idea your daughter was in an accident. What was the title of the original post so I can find it and catch up. It just never stops! I would definitely NOT keep the oxy in her room. It's bad enough she will be back on her doc. Don't let her have access to it. Hopefully it will not be getting her high as the drug is actually working for pain and not recreation. Keep us updated. I'm soo sorry you're going through this. I'm going to go try and find the original post.

digdug

Hi Twofish,

I recently had a double hip replacement two weeks ago and I am taking both morphine and oxycotin extended release for pain. As a recovering alcoholic/addict, I do not keep more than a day's worth of meds in my apartment (I live alone). My mom has the pills and she dispenses them to me every day. I do not feel comfortable having the pill bottles in my apartment.

The good news is that, because I am taking them for pain, I get no euphoria from them so I feel no urges to take more than prescribed. But better safe then sorry. I am not about to relapse because of this.

I do not think it is unreasonable to keep the meds locked up, especially because she is in your house under your care. If she wants to keep the meds in her room, then she can leave and try to take care of herself.

Tinks65

Twofish .... trust that gut! It is ridiculous to think that she would be able to control herself with that amount of opiates. Given the injury she is in an extremely vulnerable position physically and more importantly spiritually. Many addicts can point to injuries and subsequently prescribed meds as a point of relapse. You ultimately cannot control her future once she is at a point of recovery (from her injuries) when she can fully manage herself but you can certainly set boundaries in your home as she is in need of your care. I would keep close contact with the Dr.'s and keep a log of the amount of meds she is taking. I would be prepared for her to ask for increasing amts. as opposed to less as is the usual road of physical recovery (but I suppose that is pessimistic thinking on my part sorry)

As far as her being upset because you are treating her like an addict ... um hello?? She is an addict. It would be foolish to forget that. I would remind her of your love for her and also that at any time she is feeling able to go and take care of herself she is free to go but..... My house, my boundaries!

Don't allow yourself to get sucked into emotional discussions, stick to your guns, maintain contact with medical professionals and remember your boundaries are in place to protect your sanity, serenity and ultimately her as well. Be strong! Praying for you (((Twofish)))

hopeful4

TF....lock it up! The thing is...once an addict...always an addict. And I don't mean that in any disrespectful way or think you are treating her as one. If she was further along she would see the risk that places on herself and want it locked up. She is in pain but is also at a huge risk. I would kindly explain to her that it may not need locked up for her but for your own sanity that is what has to be done.

I am so sorry both of you are going through this. I agree with Tinks...don't get sucked into any codependent behaviors, just STAY CALM and explain that it's your house and there are certain things you have to do for your own peace of mind.

God Speed in getting through this. Praying for you and your family!

AnvilheadII

your house?
your rules.

needingabreak

((((((Twofish)))))) Thanks for the update. Glad you are now home but you must be physically and emotionally exhausted. I am one who has learned her gut is always right. She doesn't want to be treated like an addict but she is one. Sorry but she is at your house and you are taking care of her. I realize she is in pain, feels terrible, has her mouth wired shut etc., etc so some of this is probably the pain and loss of control talking. Either way you need to do what is best for both of you. She will thank you later.

DecBaby

TF first of all I'm sorry this happened to your daughter.

Now.... Why is she Still taking the methadone when she's taking lots of opiates? That just does not seem right. So much is wrong about that!

She desires sobriety? I honestly don't think so from reading your posts all along. Has she been doing anything for her recovery besides taking methadone? She desires recovery but wants the drugs next to her? That is more than a red flag. I have almost two years recovery and I still would not trust myself with those drugs even though I have and am currently working on my recovery.

This might be the real bottom this girl needs. Stop treating her like a victim. This all stems from her addiction.

You are the one I feel for. You have been through so much. Don't let her walk all over you because you feel sorry for her. Treat her like an addict because she is one. She hasn't had enough time to earn your trust back.

Chino

The addiction and the pain have to be treated simultaneously. If she had not been on methadone (or any opioids) prior to her accident it would be a different story.

Vale

Wishing you the best,2F. Trust your gut and we all
understand what you are going through.

You are a good Mom!

Twofish

Good Morning SR, First the meds are with me now, that is settled, I let her have one dose of Methadone and one dose of Oxycodone at her bedside, no more. Next, Jend, the original threat and post are titled Wonderful weekend...finally. Next Chino is right, we are treating addiction and pain from the accident at the same time. In the hospital, when it took 6 hours to get the Methadone down her, I could see signs of withdrawal coming back, so I again, agree with Chino, that we are treating two different things here, addiction (the disease) and the traumatic injury. It's only been 5 days since I brought her home, the pain is still bad, the swelling, her looks, the wires poking her mouth, the headaches...everything is still bad. I am totally physically and emotionally exhausted. I can't sleep and am overwhelmed. My girl, my family didn't deserve this. I sit together with her, I hold her hand. She has hit rock bottom. Everything is gone now. School and graduation are but a distant thought, it's not gonna happen. And she cries, grieves at what addiction has taken away from her, and I don't know enough about it to help her. But she's alive. She has a long road ahead of her, pray for strength for her and for me. I'm lost, she's lost, when is this gonna stop? Recovery is my only answer, and it's gonna be a life long road, struggle. Thank you SR for all the good thoughts and prayers, keep 'em coming we appreciate the support. Well I have to wake my son up for school. He's a good boy, but he doesn't understand. TF

Twofish

Hey, The 14yr old got up pretty good. He just wants his family back, like before all this addiction was found out, back in June when we could stop and smell the roses...those memories seem like years ago. Anyway, someone asked about her recovery and what she was doing about it. Two or so months ago, she got sick of being sick, started going to NA meetings, got on Methadone along with seeing a counselor and was tapering down from the Methadone, so she could start on Suboxone. She had to be at 30mg before the Suboxone Clinic people would start treating her medically. She was going to group, NA, staying away from other people using and anything that "triggered" the demon to awaken. She admitted being a addict and wanted to be sober, everything was going according to the recovery plan, they had tapered her Methadone down to 50mg, then, this accident happened. So she is discouraged, they stopped the tapering for now, and she has to heal physically before any further treatment for the addiction can resume. So can we see a bit of depression entering the picture? Yes, one day at a time, one illness at a time, one tear falling out of my eyes at a time. TF

DecBaby

Thanks for clearing up the methadone thing. I'm not too familiar with it. I couldn't remember if the oldest was participating in a recovery program. I seem to remember her being more of a problem. How's your son holding up? Still rebelling? Or has he calmed down with this situation? I'm so sorry you guys have to deal with this. I think depression on her part would be normal now.

Twofish

Hey SR, I'm back from taking the boy to school. Yes he is rebelling some, but what 14 yr old loves getting up and going to school? I havn't smelled any "pot" smoke in the house since we "caught" him smoking pot up in his room, had an intervention, he smashed the pipe. He says everyone smokes "weed", excuse me? He says he won't do it again, ya heard that before. So, I am gonna watch this boy and put him in some kind of counseling, or was, but then this accident happened to his older sister. The sster is the priority at the moment, then I will have him drug tested at his next pediatric appointment and address the issue then.
I seriously feel like I'm gonna crack and have a breakdown very soon. My husband and younger RAD will be home late Thursday, it was best to get her out of the house. She is going to NA meetings in the town she is at and talking to her counselor so I'm feeing she is doing fine, sobriety wise. She can't help, she can't be exposed to all these meds, plus they fight. It's a nightmare, so that's why she's not here and may not be here for awhile. I just can't risk her sobriety. She went c/t from heroin and is much further along in her sobriety than my older girl. I'm gonna get going now, I appreciate the distraction and sincere care that my SR family has given me, without you, seriously, I would be doing this alone, thank you for being my family. TF

hopeful4

TF...you and your family are in my thought and prayers. Breathe. Make sure you take a little time for yourself, even if it is just a 30 min bath. She got to recovery because she was tired of that life for herself, she will keep it up if that is what she truly wants from life.

I too have a 14 y.o. althought mine is a daughter. Just remember, they are difficult at that age and every time they act out it will not necessarily be some relapse, they can just be acting out in general.

So relax a little and take care of you and yours. We are SR at holding your hand! Keep posting, you are not alone and you can do this!

Upsetnneedhelp

She is in real pain and that is why these powerful narcotics were developed. Just because she is an addict doesn't mean she should have to live in real pain. I would keep the drugs though as it would just be too tempting for her.

Chino

I have two suggestions for the wires: GUM orthodontic wax and a follow up with the doctor. The surgeon that wired my daughter's mouth left some long ends, they had to be trimmed, then she used the wax. It was instant relief for her.

TF, please remember you're OK and your daughter will heal. Besides her jaw, my daughter also had half her face ripped off, a fractured vertebrae, rib, and hip. When I started freaking out, a voice literally from the sky told me "You're ok, it's not you."

Not only did my daughter heal, but she said it was something that she needed. It taught her humility.

Twofish

Hey friends who understand, My daughter has been sleeping since 10am, last night she said something felt "wrong" like something hurting and poking her on the inside of her mouth, an area where we can't see. BTW she won't let anyone touch her cheacks, face, head or neck. So I did go buy that dental wax stuff, that kids who have braces use. She can try to get that into the areas that are poking her. Anything to help decrease her pain. We see the trauma Dr. on Thursday so maybe he can calm her down some. Trim those wires a little. I cannot imagine the pain. It's a bit odd, she is very much concerned about the outcome of her chin? These young kids and their looks, priorities please. That got a smile outta this tired
moms face! Chino, this may sound vain of me but did your child who had simular injuries, were they able to fix the jaw and face to look like it used to look? This is bothering her so much and I think the more anxiety she has the longer it is gonna take to heal. Does your child's face look like it did, within reason, before the accident? I'm sorry I'm getting personal, I just am curious and would love to reassure my girl she can relax, give it time and she will look just fine. Well, I hear her getting up. Better go. TF

Chino

Her face looks almost the same, except for one slightly droopy eyelid. She can have another cosmetic procedure for it but she doesn't seem to care all that much. People that have never met her have no clue about all the damage she had. A well known photographer in the midwest even wanted to photograph her but she declined. She was just ecstatic to be asked again (she used to do bridal modeling).

We present our faces to the world; it's understandable that we would care about that

bluebelle

TF, you and your family continue to be in my prayers. Like others said, make sure you take some times to take care of yourself. Even a shower can be a refreshing time to be alone with your thoughts!