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ExABF is in jail, but...

Old 11-16-2013, 08:44 AM
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ExABF is in jail, but...

He's in the jail that I'm doing my internship at. I've had to tell them and my people at the school about it, for reasons of ethics. He called me and said he valued my opinion, should he stay in for the 2 years or bond out and go to rehab? I couldn't make that decision without talking to his dad first so I called him and, long story short, his dad said he'd give him the money to bond out cos is his money, but he's not signing the papers or letting him come home (yay!). Then the ex calls me and says thinks he will stay in. I told him he could try to get a transfer to another jail that has a rehab program, all the recovery programs that the jail he's in offers etc. He said he's afraid of becoming institutionalized again. I told him if he stays focused on recovery he will be fine. Then I had to tell him that I'm totally behind him, I had every faith in him, but, for ethical reasons, I couldn't talk to him anymore, see him or write. He sounded sad, but I don't want to lose my position in the jail. Poor addicts and the damage they do but I'm not going to lose my chance at graduating college to be what I want to be for anyone. I'm done paying for his mistakes.
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Old 11-16-2013, 10:51 AM
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What a tough position that you are in but you handled it wisely and are protecting yourself.

Not sure what your degree is in but if you are doing an internship in jail....I'd imagine you have learned a few things from your EXABF to help with the program!
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Old 11-17-2013, 04:04 AM
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You are wise to focus on your life and education and leaving him to his own decisions and results.

It must be hard for you, but the lesson will help you in days ahead.

Hugs
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Old 11-17-2013, 09:07 AM
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Thanks for the comments. And yes, it's in Social Work and substance abuse counseling. All the times I was miserable and thought Why did I have to meet him and go through this, I at least had to be grateful for all that he taught me about addicts. It doesn't make it any less painful and chaotic, but at least I've learned something.
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Old 11-17-2013, 06:42 PM
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Cool

Technically, as an intern, you are not licensed and ethics do not apply, however if you were licensed most ethical counselors would not take on a client who they'd had a relationship with in the past.

(o:
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