The Radical Lie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
When our kids were little, sometimes there would be a
"containment breach". Whoever discovered it & changed that
particular diaper would call out "Chernobyl!" in reference to a
serious Soviet radiological disaster in 1986. This announcement
said (in effect)....I get THREE diaper change credits for cleaning
this godawful mess of the diaper, baby, sheets, pillows (roof!).
It's nice to know my SR pals don't have a hair trigger Vale
excommunication apparatus. And once again,Vale is sorry for all
the excrement covering these virtual walls----although he cannot remove
posts, he is on his hands and knees with a bucket and a rag.
Everyone gets a Chernobyl credit.......and Vale gets a muzzle!
It's all EG's fault for starting this thread! (EG MADE me do it!)
Especially with that killer trigger line.................
>>>>>>'considered dull by the radical rebels in the world
who are snorting lines out in the garage'.<<<<<<<<<<<<
(avoiding responsibilities for one's actions is the first exciting
step on a stimulating, exciting journey to.......excrement-land!)
<<sometimes (vulgarly) referred to as sh**world>>
"containment breach". Whoever discovered it & changed that
particular diaper would call out "Chernobyl!" in reference to a
serious Soviet radiological disaster in 1986. This announcement
said (in effect)....I get THREE diaper change credits for cleaning
this godawful mess of the diaper, baby, sheets, pillows (roof!).
It's nice to know my SR pals don't have a hair trigger Vale
excommunication apparatus. And once again,Vale is sorry for all
the excrement covering these virtual walls----although he cannot remove
posts, he is on his hands and knees with a bucket and a rag.
Everyone gets a Chernobyl credit.......and Vale gets a muzzle!
It's all EG's fault for starting this thread! (EG MADE me do it!)
Especially with that killer trigger line.................
>>>>>>'considered dull by the radical rebels in the world
who are snorting lines out in the garage'.<<<<<<<<<<<<
(avoiding responsibilities for one's actions is the first exciting
step on a stimulating, exciting journey to.......excrement-land!)
<<sometimes (vulgarly) referred to as sh**world>>
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 111
This has been one of the more fascinating threads -
from English thought provoking start, to Vale's first post (good for you, let it out, let it all out, was cheering you), to Vale's very sincere apology post (you are safe here, we are all safe here) to liz wild antics on rollerblades.....
there were serious comments about boring/exciting lives....
I don't believe my AS enjoys (what a word) his life at all. I am thinking that maybe it is a breakthrough that he realizes this is not the life he wants...
that must be some kind of breakthrough.
from English thought provoking start, to Vale's first post (good for you, let it out, let it all out, was cheering you), to Vale's very sincere apology post (you are safe here, we are all safe here) to liz wild antics on rollerblades.....
there were serious comments about boring/exciting lives....
I don't believe my AS enjoys (what a word) his life at all. I am thinking that maybe it is a breakthrough that he realizes this is not the life he wants...
that must be some kind of breakthrough.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
....with the royalties, you can buy:
..for KatieKate, a ying/yang calendar signed by Carl Jung
..a gyroscope for hopeful4
..waterski lessons for needingabreak
..a copy of 'to kill a mockingbird' for EG
...same copy to HWC (you can read it when EG is done)
..ski wax for lizwig
...kid cuddle quilt for KIR
...copy of 'Vegas Vacation' (the Griswold's!) for KE
....home depot gift card for inciting silence
...LMN and TXhelp gets whatever's left.
(Door #3...could be a car,could be a donkey! Ever watch 'let's make a deal?)
-hey, don't laugh! remember the tee-shirt guy getting Forrest Gump's
tee shirt input (before he got covered in truck splash mud?)
..for KatieKate, a ying/yang calendar signed by Carl Jung
..a gyroscope for hopeful4
..waterski lessons for needingabreak
..a copy of 'to kill a mockingbird' for EG
...same copy to HWC (you can read it when EG is done)
..ski wax for lizwig
...kid cuddle quilt for KIR
...copy of 'Vegas Vacation' (the Griswold's!) for KE
....home depot gift card for inciting silence
...LMN and TXhelp gets whatever's left.
(Door #3...could be a car,could be a donkey! Ever watch 'let's make a deal?)
-hey, don't laugh! remember the tee-shirt guy getting Forrest Gump's
tee shirt input (before he got covered in truck splash mud?)
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Thank you for this thread English Garden,
For me with my Ex AH it is a bit different. He is more the secretive, quiet type. His habits are very well hidden and I believe he is a master at covering up.
It's more me who is the adventurous one of the two of us.
While I don't call myself an addict, and have never been addicted to a substance, I did used to binge drink a lot, until I realised what a negative effect it was having on my life and I stopped. I also take risks. They used to be unhealthy in nature and I would say that as I grow and develop, and have healthier influences in my life they tend to be healthier risks (such as starting a business, or traveling somewhere new).
I love to dance. I love being social.
All that had stopped with me while I was with X AH, and I am not saying it was totally his fault. It was just hard to do those things when we didn't have money. We no longer had a social network - it was all about work to pay the bills.
And how could I ask him to come out dancing with me when dancing would naturally be in a bar or club where there would be alcohol. It just felt too hard.
So I had disconnected from that part of me. And I missed it.
Now I am ready to allow the rebel / adventurous part of me to come alive again, however this time I am committed to it being in a way that feels healthy to me.
For me with my Ex AH it is a bit different. He is more the secretive, quiet type. His habits are very well hidden and I believe he is a master at covering up.
It's more me who is the adventurous one of the two of us.
While I don't call myself an addict, and have never been addicted to a substance, I did used to binge drink a lot, until I realised what a negative effect it was having on my life and I stopped. I also take risks. They used to be unhealthy in nature and I would say that as I grow and develop, and have healthier influences in my life they tend to be healthier risks (such as starting a business, or traveling somewhere new).
I love to dance. I love being social.
All that had stopped with me while I was with X AH, and I am not saying it was totally his fault. It was just hard to do those things when we didn't have money. We no longer had a social network - it was all about work to pay the bills.
And how could I ask him to come out dancing with me when dancing would naturally be in a bar or club where there would be alcohol. It just felt too hard.
So I had disconnected from that part of me. And I missed it.
Now I am ready to allow the rebel / adventurous part of me to come alive again, however this time I am committed to it being in a way that feels healthy to me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
You know, Vale (and everyone else), I've said quite a few things-out loud, to friends, and even TO AH that would probably be considered borderline pathologically insane. I have called him names. I have wished him dead.
And you know what?
After being called every name in the book and more, the only reason I regret saying any of those things is that I am not, by nature an angry or vindictive or 'crazy' person.
But life with an addict, especially one with whom you have or have raised children, MAKES YOU CRAZY.
My AH is like most others: "normal" is boring, and not only that, "normal" requires effort. "Normal" requires work.
Well, if reading Cat in the Hat to a diaper-clad 5month old at 6:30 every morning, because that is OUR time, is work;
If making time every day to pet the dog & take everyone for a fun nature walk is work;
If having ONE glass of wine with friends with baby on my knee, then going home to watch Monsters Inc until our suppperrrr late bedtime of 9pm is work;
If WORKING daily to support myself & my child into a better life is "too hard"...
Then call me a workaholic.
Like Carmen, I have released myself from life with AH, and while things are not perfect nor always "fun", I have myself back.
I dont have to worry about his behavior causing that rage in me, because he just flat out isn't there.
I too loved to dance, to hike, to socialize, to sing, play guitar, and spend time with family before I married him. He did not force me to NOT do these things, but when one is constantly stressed out, scared, confused, trapped in the mire of trying to pretend things are OK when they are SOOO not, one is forcibly entrenched in that unhealthy, uncharacteristic lifestyle.
I look forward to teaching my son all about plants, mushrooms, edibles from the woods. I look forward to our being able to connect and stay connected with our wide circle of family and friends, and I look forward to one day honestly being able to tell my son that he CAN do anything he wants, if he puts his mind to it.
I could have done all of these things with AH in the picture.
But that is not the same as AH wanting to, and doing, all these things WITH us.
And you know what?
After being called every name in the book and more, the only reason I regret saying any of those things is that I am not, by nature an angry or vindictive or 'crazy' person.
But life with an addict, especially one with whom you have or have raised children, MAKES YOU CRAZY.
My AH is like most others: "normal" is boring, and not only that, "normal" requires effort. "Normal" requires work.
Well, if reading Cat in the Hat to a diaper-clad 5month old at 6:30 every morning, because that is OUR time, is work;
If making time every day to pet the dog & take everyone for a fun nature walk is work;
If having ONE glass of wine with friends with baby on my knee, then going home to watch Monsters Inc until our suppperrrr late bedtime of 9pm is work;
If WORKING daily to support myself & my child into a better life is "too hard"...
Then call me a workaholic.
Like Carmen, I have released myself from life with AH, and while things are not perfect nor always "fun", I have myself back.
I dont have to worry about his behavior causing that rage in me, because he just flat out isn't there.
I too loved to dance, to hike, to socialize, to sing, play guitar, and spend time with family before I married him. He did not force me to NOT do these things, but when one is constantly stressed out, scared, confused, trapped in the mire of trying to pretend things are OK when they are SOOO not, one is forcibly entrenched in that unhealthy, uncharacteristic lifestyle.
I look forward to teaching my son all about plants, mushrooms, edibles from the woods. I look forward to our being able to connect and stay connected with our wide circle of family and friends, and I look forward to one day honestly being able to tell my son that he CAN do anything he wants, if he puts his mind to it.
I could have done all of these things with AH in the picture.
But that is not the same as AH wanting to, and doing, all these things WITH us.
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