Confused
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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Confused
I'm so confused.... My husband have been together for 6 years and got married 8 months ago. Ihe's always had issues around drinking and pot and we broke up over it once years ago. In the last 6 months his behavior became so irratic that the only solution I can come up with is drugs. Truthfully it's probably been longer but I was caught up with the wedding and starting our life together. He's even admitting to using cocaine but says it's only been a couple of times. I want to believe him, would give anything to.... But I don't. Money has gone missing, he's out all night or in the garage doing stuff. We went down the addiction center last week and he went willingly and we both saw separate councellors. I was so hopefull. Then he sayed out all night Friday and didn't go to work Saturday and slept all day. And then did the same thing Sunday night and Monday and lost his job. So Monday night I told him to leave and when he wouldn't I called the cops. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I jus wish I knew what to do next....
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
I have always and will always believe pot is a gateway drug. Many pot users turn to bigger drugs that get a better high.
That being said, you have done everything you can and now you need to focus on you and getting the help you deserve (Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, therapy, there are many options).
His problems are his. You did not cause them and you cannot cure them. The best thing you can do is focus on you during this time.
Good Luck and God Bless! Keep posting, you are not alone!
That being said, you have done everything you can and now you need to focus on you and getting the help you deserve (Alanon, Celebrate Recovery, therapy, there are many options).
His problems are his. You did not cause them and you cannot cure them. The best thing you can do is focus on you during this time.
Good Luck and God Bless! Keep posting, you are not alone!
Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by KimmerDun 
I'm so confused.... My husband have been together for 6 years and got married 8 months ago. Ihe's always had issues around drinking and pot and we broke up over it once years ago. In the last 6 months his behavior became so irratic that the only solution I can come up with is drugs. Truthfully it's probably been longer but I was caught up with the wedding and starting our life together. He's even admitting to using cocaine but says it's only been a couple of times. I want to believe him, would give anything to.... But I don't. Money has gone missing, he's out all night or in the garage doing stuff. We went down the addiction center last week and he went willingly and we both saw separate councellors. I was so hopefull. Then he sayed out all night Friday and didn't go to work Saturday and slept all day. And then did the same thing Sunday night and Monday and lost his job. So Monday night I told him to leave and when he wouldn't I called the cops. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. I jus wish I knew what to do next....
What you did -- asking him to leave -- took a lot of courage, and you're to be commended for that. You have strung together pieces of evidence to form what is an ugly and sad picture of a man not yet willing to accept responsibility for his addiction and its impact on himself and others.
As far as what to do next, you've already done something: finding us, posting, sharing.
I would encourage you to find an Al Anon and/or Nar Anon meeting local to your area so that you can receive support in person. You can't help your AH. He's made his choices, and he must face the consequences for those choices. You need to protect yourself and your sanity from this point on.
ZoSo
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