Husband coming Home From Rehab

Old 11-11-2013, 11:55 AM
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My son used rehabs as vacation time. They were an opportunity to get better physically with proper food and rest. He used rehab as a chance to hide from the drug world that he created.
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:26 PM
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Im not sure what kind of update to give. He is home, and everything has been good between us. a lot of emotion for both of us and I feel like he is being honest with his feelings but its like he is battling being scared and trying to be strong. I feel confused but I know its probably normal for right now. He went to his outpatient today and meeting with his doctor, and then we are meeting there for our family session. I have feelings of fear, still getting used to him being home and feeling comfortable, pain has been reminding me he cheated, then brain says it was in the past. Im like a jumble of random thoughts.
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:31 PM
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Hugs BlueChair! Wishing you strength, patience, and peace during what has to be a hard time.

((Hugs))
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Old 11-11-2013, 02:55 PM
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be sure to make time for YOU too! your life doesn't have to be 100% about his needs, his recovery, his fragility. you have unresolved pain and trauma, and you need support as well. I really DO hope this all goes well. dont' rush stuff. don't expect it all to back to the way it was........new world order and all that.
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Old 11-11-2013, 03:36 PM
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Hi BC, I have followed your posts for a while now and I really admire how you have been able to take advantage of the support here at SR and from your counseling and shift the focus from caring for your husband to caring for yourself. I hope you will keep that up, even now that he is home. Hugs!
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Old 11-11-2013, 07:05 PM
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Definitely some new world order.

Look it isn’t like we have some handbook, you know. So you take care of you, make sure you are focusing on your reactions, any fear you may have … I bet you might be trying to be strong as well.

Let life flow, enjoy the time, the moments and try not to drive yourself to crazy in them questions that will never have answers.

Take care.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:00 PM
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Prayers going up for you tonight. I remember how it felt when my husband first came home from his rehab, and there were so many unknowns for him, our family. I think your doing great !
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by jjj111 View Post
Hi BC, I have followed your posts for a while now and I really admire how you have been able to take advantage of the support here at SR and from your counseling and shift the focus from caring for your husband to caring for yourself. I hope you will keep that up, even now that he is home. Hugs!
aww THANK YOU Im trying
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:15 PM
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What do you guys mean by New World Order?
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by BlueChair View Post
What do you guys mean by New World Order?
In my opinion, it means that everything is different. Nothing will ever be the same. Every time D went to rehab and came home, everything changed. The marriage that was before was over, and a new one began each time.

I think of it as seasons. Spring, summer autumn and winter are all very different things, the seasons always change, and always move forward, never backwards. Each season offers its own blessings and challenges, but we cannot expect the summer to be like the winter

I'm not sure if that is what the others mean, but that is just my ESH.
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:21 PM
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New world order.

You both have grown miles from 3 months ago. You are both changing in positive directions. Keep up doing positive things and maybe try some new healthy activities together.

You both will never be the same. You have grown too much. Good luck!
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Old 11-13-2013, 03:16 AM
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For me, well I don’t want the past with my husband, I want a future…All that if he could just be like he was before … with his past just being part of his problem, even when the problem wasn’t so obvious at times. The past was part of mine as well, and until I fixed it and healed the future wouldn’t have held much more than a life on repeat. I don't see much promise for a good life stuck in the pain of the past.

If any of that makes sense.

But also remember your promise, your chances for a wonderful life are not dependent on him. A success story is not measure in anything but how each one person gives themselves a chance, anything after is icing on the cake.
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Old 11-13-2013, 02:44 PM
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We have both been through a lot these last 4-6 months your right. We have changed, grown, experienced things I never could have imagined. I guess there is no going back because there is growth. Im not seeing these huge differences in him or anything. He is still him. I think Im still me !
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