My friend who is addicted to cocaine has had loads stolen from him
 

My friend has got himself into a sticky situation. He dealed some drugs and some guys stole 80 grands worth off him. He now has to pay the other guys but has no money. I feel for him because he is addicted himself but in denial, i am subtly hinting to him to get help but his immediate problem are these guys who are dangerous people. What are his options, i said talk to them they may understand but he said it doesn't work like that.... thanks in advance

As I understand the mission of this site, we participate in order to help one another recover from the effects of addiction in our lives, however that may be manifested. Therefore, my response to your post is to gently urge you to disengage from your current path of trying to prevent your friend from experiencing the reality of his addiction. It is harmful to you both to do so.

You are not responsible for him, nor can you save him – that's entirely up to your friend. If he has people threatening him harm, then he should seek help from the police or other authority. If you are thinking, "But then he'd have to explain how he got the money to begin with" my response would be, "Yes, and so…?"

There are consequences to the choices we make in our lives, not only for people addicted to substances, but to those who love them. One of the keys to our recovery is acceptance of reality, which implicates living honestly.

I don't mean to cast a shadow on your affection for your friend -- it's great that you care for him. But this is not your responsibility, and if you choose to make it so, you are opening yourself up to a world of pain. Many of us here have lived in that world and we work hard on ourselves in order to never, ever return.

Messedup - I hate to tell you, but you can't fix this. I'm both a recovering crack addict and a recovering codependent (who tried to fix EVERYTHING).

I had a lot of bad things happen to me when I was on crack - stuff stolen, beaten, raped, you name it. I finally had had enough and I quit.

I saw some horrific things done in the world of "crack-land". I found recovery, distanced myself from those I hung around with (originally because I was locked up!). I'm going on 7 years, my ex bf who was a long time user died in a crack house with pneumonia.

I couldn't save him as he didn't want to hear what I had to say. My best advice is to distance yourself from him as they can come after you. Drug deals gone bad are no joke, and you have to take care of you.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hi Messedup, You didn't cause your friend to get all caught up with the dangerous kind of people, plus your friend told you talking it over with these people..."it doesn't work that way..." Keep yourself at a distance, your intentions are honorable, but do YOU want to end up paying back these people for your friends drug robbery? This is all illegal, so hoping the law will help you help him, not sure if that will help either. I'm sorry. TF

thanks for your responses, i do have a habit of wanted to fix other people's problems. He actually said he might come and stay with me as i've moved from the area now, he sort of invited himself. We actually slept together before i left when i was using, but i've known him for years but that was the first time we took things further than friends.
I have just started my own recovery, so i know i need to focus on me, it's just so difficult to cut ppl out of my life, especially when he's saying i'm the only one he can talk to about this and that he can't sleep & stuff. I put him off coming here because the last thing i need is albanian gangsters banging on my door. I've said i think he should seek some kind of recovery but maybe i need to leave it at that now..

I agree with the others here Messedup.

Back in the day, one of my friends robbed a drug dealer, and he needed a place to hide while he was "on the run". I allowed him (and the stash) to hide at my house for a few days. Why? Because I wanted to help - oh, yeah, and also take a nice cut of the stolen drugs for myself. And now I was just as guilty and no different than the thief. Trust me, these things do not end well. I know your friend is on the other side of things, but there will be no positive outcome for you if you get involved.

In your situation, you need to distance yourself from this situation at all costs. This is NOT your problem and - friend or not - these are the type of people you need to stay away from moving forward. Leave it alone, don't get involved, and walk the other way.

My XBF was a cocaine addict, and he once told me that he'd been robbed when in fact he had blown all his money on drugs and wanted me to give him money. But I actually believed him and gave him money. Only later did I look back on it and realize it was a lie. I realize now that he lied constantly and would have said just about anything to get what he wanted. I guess my point is that it's hard to know what's really going on with your friend. Whatever it is, it doesn't sound like something that would be safe to be involved in.