Do they ALWAYS lie?
 

Good evening SR nice place. : )

*sigh* I cannot call anyone on my list from the NA meetings because my phone is shut off right now.

I told my das to leave before. He had gotten ready to take a shower and stuff and I know I heard it, the sound of skin being slapped, and I "reacted". ugh. So I told him to get out.

He swore he was doing nothing. I called him a liar. Which I feel very badly about. : ( But I know what I heard. Twice. I don't know what else it could have been. (I know the sound because I have done it to myself 28 years ago when I stupidly did something 5 times... : ( ) I did not bust the door down to actually see anything. I figured he might have no clothes on.

Ugh. He kissed me goodbye and still said he wasn't doing anything and left. I told him he needed to get some help. I told him while he was charging the phone that he needed to go to a meeting.

I guess I just had to write and get this stuff out. I can't call anyone. I am trying to remain "peaceful" but it is very hard. I'm having a huge anxiety attack about making him leave. He sounded so sad when he left.

I just worry that something will happen. I should not worry about the future though.

I named the post "Do they ALWAYS lie?" because after this stuff has been going on a while, I just think everything he says is lies. I know that after dealing with the crack nightmare of his dad, that addicts lie. I know that by reading some of the stuff I've read that people have written here, that addicts lie. And the lovely people at the meeting I go to say that their addicts lie all the time too.

I think I will go knit...

Thank you for listening to my yibbering.

su : )

Do they ALWAYS Lie?

In my experience....YES

Its like asking if a cough is part of a cold. Yes, most of the time. Lying is a symptom of addiction.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...addiction.html

In active addiction -
yes.

lie...manipulate too. Here you are, setting reasonable boundaries, and he's made you feel sad, and have a panic attack. Are you worried that something will happen when you tell him to leave? Because it sounded like you picked up on something that was happening in the home.

Hello Eve, In my ADs active addiction they would lie and lie and lie some more. They would also steal, manipulate and deceive me. They would make the world seem like how they wanted me to see it. And I took the bait many times. I occasionally still do take the bait if their AV appears out of no where. Be strong, you heard what you heard. Don't be overwhelmed by some smarta$$ AV telling you what you didn't hear, to worry is to give in. Gentle hugs, TF

The lies are to protect their addiction. My ex is kind of rich so he never had to steal, lie to get money or make up stories for work. I never caught him lying until pretty recently.

Hi February13, I found that I could forgive easy enough but to forget, that will take a long time. My AD had it made, never to want or need, it was always there, except to ask mom for money to buy Heroin, that's a lie that happened over and over. I don't take the bait anymore. She has been sober 10 weeks, but the memory of the lies will live in my mind forever, hopefully locked in, never to come out to verbally attack my daughter when emotions get rough. Addiction is here to stay, but we will keep it locked up and hopefully never trigger it to come bouncing out and start this nightmare are all over again. TF

We live in a separate reality than the addict does.
We have constructs of order and society and convention,
which we sometimes fail to see as the luxuries they are.
But luxuries they indeed are.
If you were told that breathing is morally wrong, akin to
child molestation------how long could you hold your breath?
For only a little while.....but after only a few short seconds
your cerebellum will be sending out signals of distress that will
rise in urgency exponentially as a function of time.
What we call "lying" they call survival. The evil of this
is that it ties directly into the reptilian center proto brain---
a place where willpower and choice have no meaning....only
needs to be satisfied.
When this is understood ,taking behaviors or lying personally
is seen for the non sequitor it is.

Yes, they lie as easily as they breathe. I fell for so many lies in my desperate attempt to control the BEAST. I got burned every time I did that. Once I faced MY denial, I could hear the lies.

Thank you all for your replies. : ) I appreciate them very much.

I am working on my "chaos of paper" today because I have to. It is pretty "mindless" work to do. It is a project that is way past due too.

Tomorrow night is the meeting I will go to. They are so very nice there. : ) It certainly helps me to know that I am not alone. The people I work with really don't get it. (Well, maybe one or two do.) But mostly they don't. I am glad to know that I am not alone here too. : )

My das is asleep right now. I know he's a liar. I am trying to let go of that vision I had when he was little of him never doing any drugs because of what we went through or even not because of what we went through. (I don't know if that makes sense. Sorry.) I talked to him about addiction many times. But I guess once they feel that "feeling" and it kills the pain that is in them, it's a hard thing to kick. I know the feeling and I can only thank the Good Lord above that I didn't fall into the heroin thing. Good thing I never tried it myself... I will get my stuff done today that I must do and try to figure out what to say later. Sometimes I wonder if i should just say nothing? Today is a sad day in our world because it is an anniversary date of a loved one's suicide. So sad... : (

I have so much "stuff" that I need to deal with as an "adult". ugh. I will take time later for something "nice" for me. Whether it be my knitting or playing a bit of WoW with my friends. They make me go on the chat program we use and "talk" with them. It makes me feel better too. : )

First though, on to my reading for today. And then cooking chicken.

Thank you for this place.

I hope everyone has a lovely Sunday. : ) Take care.

su : )