Should I contact him ..again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 17
Should I contact him ..again
Months back I met this fella.
I fell hard for him regardless of his drug addiction.
He told me he went to rehab before but I assumed everything was fine although I was positive he was high on cocaine when we hung out once and always wanted to smoke weed. I didn't really think too much of it.
Anyway.....he eventually stopped talking to me and I thought he was blowing me off until I found out he was in rehab again.
He didn't tell me he was going..he just kind of cut me out.
I was so hurt by this I cannot even describe it to you.
I texted him while he was in rehab asking how he was doing since we haven't talked in a while. I got no answer.
He is home now.
I want to reach out again but figure it might be bad for his recovery.
He has liked a few things of my things on facebook so idk if that means anything.
I still have deep feelings for him. I think i met him for a reason and i think and pray for him every single day.
I would do anything to talk to him.
Not even as boyfriend girlfriend...but I'd be fine with just being friends.
Oh and btw, last week his friend who I ran into asked me if I still talk to him.
Like why would he ask me? If hes friends with him, he knows the answer...do u think he told his friend to bring him up to me/??
Idk what to do.
Please give me advice.
Sorry this is long and all over the place lol I jusst have to vent...this is the only place i AM able to.
I fell hard for him regardless of his drug addiction.
He told me he went to rehab before but I assumed everything was fine although I was positive he was high on cocaine when we hung out once and always wanted to smoke weed. I didn't really think too much of it.
Anyway.....he eventually stopped talking to me and I thought he was blowing me off until I found out he was in rehab again.
He didn't tell me he was going..he just kind of cut me out.
I was so hurt by this I cannot even describe it to you.
I texted him while he was in rehab asking how he was doing since we haven't talked in a while. I got no answer.
He is home now.
I want to reach out again but figure it might be bad for his recovery.
He has liked a few things of my things on facebook so idk if that means anything.
I still have deep feelings for him. I think i met him for a reason and i think and pray for him every single day.
I would do anything to talk to him.
Not even as boyfriend girlfriend...but I'd be fine with just being friends.
Oh and btw, last week his friend who I ran into asked me if I still talk to him.
Like why would he ask me? If hes friends with him, he knows the answer...do u think he told his friend to bring him up to me/??
Idk what to do.
Please give me advice.
Sorry this is long and all over the place lol I jusst have to vent...this is the only place i AM able to.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I think you should count your blessings that he dumped you and move on with your life. Read around in the family and friends forums and see the kind of joy having an addict partner brings to one's life!
Yeah right.....
These are the responses you got the first time, I seriously doubt they have changed since http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4107819
but I'd be fine with just being friends.
These are the responses you got the first time, I seriously doubt they have changed since http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4107819
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
I think when you fall this hard for someone so quickly it's more of a fantasy land then real life. When we live in magic land we make everything they do ( liking a post on FB) (running into a supposive friend of theirs then thinking with that magical thinking that they sent this person to us for a reason) we set ourselves up for further disappointments.
Truth is, and not trying to be mean here only real - if he had an interest in you he would have contacted you. He would message you on FB.
He didn't include you in his private life (going to rehab) because he doesn't consider you close. He didn't respond to your texts because he chose not to. And now if you attempt to contact him again he'll see you as a stalker someone chasing after him and he'll run further and faster.
You deserve someone who is really into you wants to spend time with having fun and going out. This guy is not that guy for sorry.
Truth is, and not trying to be mean here only real - if he had an interest in you he would have contacted you. He would message you on FB.
He didn't include you in his private life (going to rehab) because he doesn't consider you close. He didn't respond to your texts because he chose not to. And now if you attempt to contact him again he'll see you as a stalker someone chasing after him and he'll run further and faster.
You deserve someone who is really into you wants to spend time with having fun and going out. This guy is not that guy for sorry.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
in a word.....NO. he has made it CLEAR he is not interested in maintaining contact, period. no he didn't send his friend to just happen to meet up with you and ask if you were talking to him. that's FANTASY, dear. he's a drug addict, in and out of rehab, smoking weed, doing coke, and then just disappearing.
he's not the one. he isn't that into you. value yourself, not hand it over to a drug addict.
he's not the one. he isn't that into you. value yourself, not hand it over to a drug addict.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
He's made it clear by his silence that he doesn't want a relationship with you...no matter how much you wish it was so.
Sweetie, you're young, move on to someone healthy who will give as much to a relationship as they get.
Hugs
Sweetie, you're young, move on to someone healthy who will give as much to a relationship as they get.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 40
I really hope that you have the strength to stay away from him i really do. Being in the life of an addict is a challenge everyday to say the least. They can very often be self centered and not focused on much else. You said that you fell hard for this guy but you'd be okay with being friends hunnie, please try to not get close to him. I absolutely adore my boyfriend but trying to understand his recovery is hard enough, plus i'm trying to work on myself. I never knew how much i'd be in for until i got here, knowing full well he was an addict at the time he was on suboxone when we meet and everything was dandy now he's clean..it's a different story. Needless to say every part of this situation seems like something you shouldn't get involved in if you can help yourself. I understand those illogical urges to fall for someone no matter the circumstances though. His recovery is key to his life now, he needs! to stay focused on himself. Especially the first year or so, which means any form of a new relationship is highly discouraged, it is so easy for them to relapse when this happens.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Crissy, I feel your heart is breaking, I'm so sorry, time will heal that. Your friend has made it clear he is not interested in a relationship with you. You might of been his smoking buddy, but do you really want that? Life will find you a partner, like Ann said, you're young. Grieve for the loss you feel, then move on, he has. Hugs and be strong, TF
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