what to do with my AH???
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Bridgeport, WV
Posts: 108
what to do with my AH???
Well I decided yesterday I had had enough and I could no longer bite my tongue. I've been angry with my AH for so long now. I've watched him gradually begin to drink more and more, drive after drinking, slack off at work, get angrier than usual and more easily and pass out nightly. On top of all this he's been complaining almost daily about our lack of sex (we haven't had sex in 6+ months). He says that if we would have sex more often he would be less stressed and wouldn't yell/get angry as much and wouldn't turn to pills and alcohol.
Needless to say I'm sick of it. I'm beginning to worry that he has or will have a drinking problem. He used to never drink and now he drinks every night. He thinks that bc he doesn't do pills on a regular basis there's no problem. He lied to me last week about pills and the week before that he came up with an elaborate lie to get me out of the car so I wouldn't find a syringe. He still swears it wasn't his. I've stressed to him over and over and over that I'm more upset/hurt about being lied to. It doesn't change. He is never honest even when he's caught he continues to lie. I'm starting to notice a pattern, he can go a few months and do ok and then he slips up. He apologizes, cries and makes promises. I'm beginning to understand why people say that addicts have to want to quit for themselves.
I told him I didn't like him anymore. I didn't like how he treated me and his family. I told him his behavior lately was scaring me. He of course promised he was done with everything. I told him that wasn't good enough bc I'd heard it too many times before. I wanted him to value his sobriety as much as I did and that occasionally taking xanax or klonopin wasn't ok. I told him drugs aren't a part of my life and that I didn't possibly see how we were going to have a future together anymore. He just kept saying you'll see I'll show you I'm done.
I don't want to do this anymore if there was a way for me to move out I would. I've lost hope in him ever being completely clean. He's always gonna struggle with this. I wish so many things were different for him, mainly his job. I think if he had a job with a boss who wasn't a family member it would help tremendously. There's no consequences for his bad behavior at work (being late, being gone too long for lunch, not answering his phone). He went to prison for 5 years and it doesn't seem to have changed him. He was doing sooo much better when we first started dating and he lived with his parents.
Who knows what will happen??? Thanks for listening everyone!
Needless to say I'm sick of it. I'm beginning to worry that he has or will have a drinking problem. He used to never drink and now he drinks every night. He thinks that bc he doesn't do pills on a regular basis there's no problem. He lied to me last week about pills and the week before that he came up with an elaborate lie to get me out of the car so I wouldn't find a syringe. He still swears it wasn't his. I've stressed to him over and over and over that I'm more upset/hurt about being lied to. It doesn't change. He is never honest even when he's caught he continues to lie. I'm starting to notice a pattern, he can go a few months and do ok and then he slips up. He apologizes, cries and makes promises. I'm beginning to understand why people say that addicts have to want to quit for themselves.
I told him I didn't like him anymore. I didn't like how he treated me and his family. I told him his behavior lately was scaring me. He of course promised he was done with everything. I told him that wasn't good enough bc I'd heard it too many times before. I wanted him to value his sobriety as much as I did and that occasionally taking xanax or klonopin wasn't ok. I told him drugs aren't a part of my life and that I didn't possibly see how we were going to have a future together anymore. He just kept saying you'll see I'll show you I'm done.
I don't want to do this anymore if there was a way for me to move out I would. I've lost hope in him ever being completely clean. He's always gonna struggle with this. I wish so many things were different for him, mainly his job. I think if he had a job with a boss who wasn't a family member it would help tremendously. There's no consequences for his bad behavior at work (being late, being gone too long for lunch, not answering his phone). He went to prison for 5 years and it doesn't seem to have changed him. He was doing sooo much better when we first started dating and he lived with his parents.
Who knows what will happen??? Thanks for listening everyone!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: East Coast
Posts: 427
It sounds like you already know what you need to do, it's just a matter of making it happen. Of course he's going to lie about the needle being his etc. that's what they do. Keep yourself safe. Preserve your well being, there's always away to make that happen.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Bridgeport, WV
Posts: 108
I have 3 dogs and nowhere that I could stay would let me have them. Honestly the situation isn't urgent at this point but I am going to prepare. I'm not going to keep living like this.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Bridgeport, WV
Posts: 108
Just to clarify I posted this thread days before the other one where he became violent and I had to call the police. Yes I totally agree the situation is now urgent and I do have support. Looking back at this post and where I am today, this is a perfect example of how things can escalate. All the warning signs were there and I was right to be concer ned. I NEVER would have imagined things would have gotten to this point.
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