Where do I even start...???

Old 10-06-2013, 05:29 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
Where do I even start...???

My husband left Monday for a 9-10 month faith based treatment program...it's 3 hours away...I am angry and hurt at the destruction he has caused however I do know that it is the addiction/drugs and not my husband. Sober, he is a wonderful man. I know that his using is only to cover pain and hurts that need to be addressed. He is seeking that help now. I truly believe he is capable of overcoming this if he puts in the work. Am I being unrealistic or am I just a total codependent? Am I the idiot here?
Tinky is offline  
Old 10-06-2013, 06:49 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Tinky, worrying won't change anything.

He's gone to rehab and that is a good indication of his desire to get clean.

While he is gone, why not try some meeting for yourself. Meetings helped many of us find our balance and learn to live in a healthy way.

Enjoy the peace right now, and take good care of you.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
Old 10-07-2013, 05:49 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: NY
Posts: 14
A 9 to 10 month program is great!! I think that will give him a better chance than a 30 day program or shorter program, not to say a shorter program can't work. IMO the problems that cause someone to use usually take a very long period to work through. He can focus 100% on recovery during this time. It's a long road. Not an easy road and I think your feelings and the worry are normal. Take the time to focus on you and enjoy the peace like Ann said. I'm new here too. My husband is a heroin/cocaine addict.
cantcureit is offline  
Old 10-07-2013, 06:41 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
Thank you, I needed that. I will tell you that I know it's going to be hard. I miss him like crazy. We had a wonderful relationship...even in his madness there wasn't other women or anything like that. I know he is in the right place and getting the help he needs. I know I need help to...it's going to be hard to learn to trust him again with money and the car. I am going to take this time to work on those issues among others. I am hoping this place helps too.
Tinky is offline  
Old 10-09-2013, 01:54 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: NY
Posts: 14
well it sounds like he is getting help before things had damaged your marriage beyond repair. If you don't mind me asking, what was his DOC? My husband and I now keep money separate. I can afford to pay all of the bills on my own, which takes some of the stress away from me if he does start using again and gets crazy with money. My husband is also in a suboxone program which I highly recommend if he has an opiate addiction of any kind. Another thing to think about is, depending on his habits, do you need to get tested for Hep C/B and HIV. Even without sharing needles you can contract virus' from sharing drug cookers, rinse water and cotton. I don't want to scare you, but it's better to know and get early treatment. THANK GOD, I never contracted anything. I hope I don't get any backlash for this, but I always bought my husband needles and we still have them (out of sight) where he knows where they are so that if he does decide he's going to use again, he doesn't put me at risk.
cantcureit is offline  
Old 10-09-2013, 06:03 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
His DOC is crack. We will have to find a way to work on the money issues...I am just going to take it a day at a time. I have been tested. He never did the needle thing (not that makes it any better) I would drive him to get him what he needed to keep him from stealing the car after I woke up many times and he would be gone. Sometimes it was just easier for me to let him do what he did and know where he was...crazy I know...but I did. I love the man, I know he is sick, I have faith he can over come this and I am willing to be there as long as he puts forth the effort.
Tinky is offline  
Old 10-09-2013, 06:12 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
AnvilheadII's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
We had a wonderful relationship

I would drive him to get him what he needed to keep him from stealing the car

hard to imagine those two sentences speaking of the same relationship.
AnvilheadII is offline  
Old 10-09-2013, 06:21 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 22
Doesn't seem normal, I'm sure...that's one reason he is where he is and I am doing what I'm doing...we are both trying to get back to where we need to be...thank God we only have to prove that to our higher power, Jesus Christ!
Tinky is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:48 AM.