Dear AH in Jail
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
I guess I want boundaries and my DOC... my husband. It sounds like im negotiating bc It's SO hard for me to do this.
My goal is to keep my family together. I guess I'm trying to control his recovery.
I have a hard time accepting failure. I worry constantly.
How do I let go?
I'm trying to... for my own good. NOT EASY.
I worry so much that I could easily get an RX. Am I depressed? I think I'm worried about my husband dying.. which I have no control and am... going nuts... not being able to fix this. Ugh.
My goal is to keep my family together. I guess I'm trying to control his recovery.
I have a hard time accepting failure. I worry constantly.
How do I let go?
I'm trying to... for my own good. NOT EASY.
I worry so much that I could easily get an RX. Am I depressed? I think I'm worried about my husband dying.. which I have no control and am... going nuts... not being able to fix this. Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 74
How can you fail at something you're not able to do in the first place?
You can't control his recovery. Failing is his job to avoid... not yours. You learn to let go by working a program, learning to focus on YOU instead of him.
Keeping your family together can mean so many things, but it doesn't have to mean tolerating destructive behavior. I avoided the problem so long for the very same reason, until I realized that my own tolerance was destroying my children.
It's okay to be worried; it's something else to let that worry paralyze you into inaction.
You have to accept you can't fix it. This isn't something you can ever fix. If you could, SR wouldn't be here, and neither would any of us.
Step 1. Accepting that we are powerless.
Do you have access to an Al Anon group nearby? Al Anon has taught my so much about myself, and how to cope with this, and how to GROW, and learn to detach, to love, but not be controlled.
You can't control his recovery. Failing is his job to avoid... not yours. You learn to let go by working a program, learning to focus on YOU instead of him.
Keeping your family together can mean so many things, but it doesn't have to mean tolerating destructive behavior. I avoided the problem so long for the very same reason, until I realized that my own tolerance was destroying my children.
It's okay to be worried; it's something else to let that worry paralyze you into inaction.
You have to accept you can't fix it. This isn't something you can ever fix. If you could, SR wouldn't be here, and neither would any of us.
Step 1. Accepting that we are powerless.
Do you have access to an Al Anon group nearby? Al Anon has taught my so much about myself, and how to cope with this, and how to GROW, and learn to detach, to love, but not be controlled.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
