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-   -   I'm back, the house, the MIL and what's the point (

blueholly 10-01-2013 02:48 AM

I'm back, the house, the MIL and what's the point
So lately I have come and gone from this sight. Maybe only logging in once a month or so. I have come to the point that I am sick and tired of always dealing with his addiction. I have quit going to recovery groups ect. I have just gotten to the point that I want to worry about me and the kids and not think about him and his addiction. But this morning I have come to the conclusion that as long as he is my kids dad I will always have to "deal" with him.... It's sad and pathetic. I know.

I am just to the point where I want him to go away completely....

So last week they were going to auction off our house and OUR Harley d. It's not like he can't make the payment. He still has the business and has at least $250,000 in assets that he could easy liquidate and pay off the house. Does he do it? No. He continues to buy junk and stuff he doesn't need. Hoards, really. He spends $1000 on junk. If any of you have kept up with me you will know what I am talking about. He buys literal junk. for example. 30 school desk off an online auction. really? who needs that. On top of his tool and gun obsessions...
Any way, sorry to get side tracked.
So THANK GOD my name was not on the mortgage. Just the deed. So the bank only came after him (financially) and my attorney signed a paper releasing me so they could forclose way back in may.
I knew he was up to something. I knew he knew he was suppose to get out. but he never even acted like any thing was going on. He kept telling me his attorney was taking care of it. blah blah. Well then about 2 days before the auction he told me that he payed $2000. to get the house off the auction block. I called my attorney. He said they won't take $2000 at this late of date and said it was probably another of his lies.
So on the afternoon of the auction. (I was watching the public record every minute) sure enough, they file papers to suspend the auction. Then I hear it wasn't him (of course) but his MOTHER. that bailed him out. SHE IS BUYING THE HOUSE!!
Needless to say I am FURIOUS! He doesn't even live there! He rolls in there about every ten days to take a shower and change clothes. Why would he even want that house? I will tell you why. becuase he has so much crap packed into the shop there and he is to lazy to move it. We have a shop there and you literally can't get in the door. Tools, parts, fishing stuff, gun stuff 2 gun safes. motorcycles ect.... you name it he has it.
I am so mad at her i can't even see straight!
I have made it clear to her even before I left in april that she needs to let him hit bottom and feel some consequences. She sits there with her face (im not saying what I want) and acts like she agrees then does this!
AND, she payed his child support last month! Are you freaking kidding me!! He has $1000's and she is doing crap like this....
So she texted me last week and wants the kids to come stay with her over fall break. I haven't texted back. I really want to let her have it. But I have realized that trying to talk to her is like talking to him... Talking to a brick wall.
Should I just ignore her? Should I send her an email and tell her no you can't have them and this is why?
I really don't think she is good for the kids at this point. She just tells them how hard daddy is working and in the beginning she was tell them that I should move them home. I a m the bad guy... ect.. She makes me look bad and him look like a hero.

I am resigned to the fact that as long as she is alive he will never suffer. And I am resigned to the fact that this will probably kill him before her.....
....And she will stand at the head of his coffin telling people that it wasn't drugs that killed him... it will be something else....

On a side note. A few good books for any one who deals with a meth addict.
I thought I knew everything there was to know about meth until I read "methland, the death and life of an american small town" I am not finished yet but very educating... (caution to those of us with triggers.)

lizwig 10-02-2013 03:44 AM

Hi blueholly, you certainly have a lot on your plate. I'm glad you know you can return here to vent about the crazy addict world. Sometimes things just make no sense. It's especially frustrating when it feels other family members are undermining our efforts to not enable. His mom may reach her own bottom someday. Just keep working on you...stepping forward...building the life you seek and knowing you deserve all that is good.

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