jjj111

My sister has been battling an opiate addiction for over a decade. She recently told me that she plans to go to a rapid detox center next month. I don't know much about rapid detox, but it seems a little gimmicky and like a quick fix. But she seems serious about it, she did the research herself, swears she will start going to NA again (she went for a while a few years ago and then quit.) But I can't help feeling skeptical. I just can't ride that roller coaster of hope and disappointment. I will believe the change when I see it. I've been trying to handle this with loving detachment. I said no when she asked for money for rehab, but I tried to make sure she knows that I love her. But sometimes I can't resist monitoring her on facebook, trying to get a sense of how she's doing. She lives far away and we only communicate by e-mail, so it has become a way of feeding my need to check up.

Anyway, the hardest part for me is that she has a young son. She has been using for this kid's entire life, and was on suboxone and possibly more during her pregnancy. The father of her child lives with her, and also has a drug habit. Now I see on Facebook that their son is spending nights with his babysitter. My sister only works part time during the day, so I don't see why this is necessary. I've let go of some of my guilt about my sister, but I feel so bad for her son. It has even occurred to me to call CPS, but I wonder whether that could possibly help the situation.

How do people here deal with the children of the addicts in their lives?

jjj111

OK, I guess that I do have a pretty good idea of why he is spending the night with the babysitter--I realize that it means she is dropping him off so she can enjoy her high undistracted. I just don't like it.

TheGirlisTrying

Or maybe she is dropping him off on the nights that he really doesn't need to be in the house. With two addicts in the home, maybe it's best that the boy spend some time out of the house. I wouldn't express dissatisfaction with that or make it an issue with her just yet. You may take away that boys only chance for a good night on some occasions. It may be an excellent thing in this situation.

jjj111

Yes, I agree, it seems like he is being well cared for by the babysitter. It's more his parents I'm worried about--I guess I just see overnights with the babysitter as a sign that his parents really aren't coping.

Lily1918

I am an opiate addict. I have been relying on my family heavily to help me take care of my two young children while I was using and detoxing. I know they dont need to be around an active addict. I did not want to sign away custody, and my family did not call cps. I am not saying that you should not call. That is a very personal decision. I made an anonymous call on a couple of my dealers who have children just last month. I was still using, but their children were taken away. Hypocritical. I know.
Maybe, just maybe, she is leaving her son with a sitter for similar reasons, especially if she really is considering recovery.

I see overnights with a babysitter as a sign of detox. Look up opiate detox on youtube. My children were sent away so they wont hear the screams, and get caught in the crossfire when it starts to get violent.

nancylee

I would try to have the son live with me until your sister gets her life together - no child should be bounced around, with babysitters overnight, although I know he is probably better off with the sitter than your sister. Stuff with kids and animals are my breaking point. I would offer to take him, and let her know that you are worried about her son. I wouldn't make any calls to child services until I saw what she says.
Nancy