I believe him but no one else does

Old 09-15-2013, 10:22 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by pravchaw View Post
If there is a genuine medical need for a drug then you have to weigh the benefit of a drug vs. the risk. Addiction is obviously a risk but obviously there are benefits (ie being off street drugs). Is he under the care of an addiction doctor? Suboxone is used to wean people off opiates. Xanax is for controlling anxiety. Both are addictive and dosage needs to be monitored closely and he has to adhere to the instructions of the doctor.

I think this is a very important consideration when you are talking about prescribed meds. Its the "genuine need" of the medication and if it is used as prescribed, and if the patient is being honest with the doctor who does the prescribing to get the best dosage with the least side effects.

My husband started his addiction on prescribed pain meds. He had a sports injury, had to have multiple surgeries and needed the meds for quite a while. But when the doctor was ready to wean him off, my husband made us both think he was doing as directed, instead he started obtaining the meds through someone he worked with, and then he started using more, other drugs and became addicted. By this point the doctor was out of the picture as far as prescribing the meds.

In my earlier post, I was speaking of your boyfriends situation as I understood it. In one post you said he suffered from anxiety and social situations upset him, so I assumed he had an actual need for Xanax, and is taking it as prescribed. I know a person who take this daily because they need it to function normally due to anxiety. The person I speak of is also in therapy to work on personal issues to try to learn to control the anxiety and hopefully get off the medication eventually. I would never say this person is an addict, even though I think there would have to be a taper, and still the possibility of withdrawal. But it is much different a situation than someone doctor shopping, or lying to he doctor to get a specific medication in order to get a high.

Thanks Pravchaw for emphasizing these points "genuine medical need" and "under the care of a doctor"
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Old 09-15-2013, 10:24 PM
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halliegrants hope the best for you....only taking suboxone and xanax is still some pretty serious stuff
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Old 09-15-2013, 11:05 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I just want to mention that in the state of Az, holding someone elses perscription is viewed as posession.... if it doesnt have your name written on it, it is a felony.
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Old 09-15-2013, 11:22 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hallie - First of all, I'm a recovering addict (RA). I'm also a recovering codependent who believed what my alcoholic bf was telling me and got in over my head. MY way of dealing with it was to turn from alcohol (to put up or keep up with him) was turn to drugs. Thus, started a run of a major addiction from alcohol to opiates to crack.

From what I know (and though I was a nurse, what I know from subs is from this site) - they only affect opiates..not anti-anxiety meds, weed, etc. Therefore, it's quite possible to take the subs AND abuse something else.

I can only share my ES&H (experience, strength and hope). When I got into recovery (crack was my latest addiction), I told him "I'm an RA, I've abused alcohol, opiates, lost a nursing career to that addiction, and if I EVER ask you for xanax, you'd BETTER ask me WTF is going on".

He was great. I have legit pain problems that I need opiates, but I was prescribed very few with no refills. He left, got another dr., told her the same thing. I have a big problem with anxiety and PTSD (not related to drugs) and told new dr. the same.

I eventually had to ask for xanax and I explained why (not sleeping for days at a time which led me to severe depression and we'd been through numerous sleeping pills that didn't work, or at least wore off pretty quick).

Bottom line. I asked for the xanax to be reduced to a lower dose (and it's really low). I stopped taking a med that is actually used for psychotic behaviors but it helps a lot of people with insomnia. I was building up a tolerance, and I didn't want to keep increasing the dose.

I tried more healthy things to help me sleep, to keep the anxiety down (thank you SR folks for the help!)

Bottom line - I wanted recovery, no "slippery days when I wasn't quite right" and I didn't want any drug or substance controlling me. I finally quit smoking over a month ago and though it hasn't been fun? I've done it and I no longer want anything to do with cigarettes.

I will also say that I'm in recovery for codependency - I want to think the best of people, make everything okay. My stepmom is addicted to opiates, muscle relaxers, anti-anxiety medicines and anything that will make her numb. My dad is an enabler. She is doctor shopping. I live with them due to the financial bind I put myself in.

Everything she gets? It's prescribed by a dr. When she uses up all her pills too fast? She goes to ER. What she gets is "legal" but it's no less wrong or dangerous than the drugs I got from the dope boys.

One more thing - you have a toddler. I have a niece who I love as much as if she was MY child. Her mama died when she was only 1 (car wreck) but in her first year, niece was taken to Jail to see her "daddy". He's been on drugs since he was 13, told her lies as a child, broke her heart, promised her things, etc.

She's now 20. A couple years ago, her "dad" had a phone in jail (illegal) and kept telling her "just let me be the daddy I should have been all along". At this time, she was married and had a baby of her own.

Long story short - he was out of jail for 6 months, doing good, working, paying her insurance (she is a SAHM and hubby doesn't make much) and then bam. He's back in jail with multiple charges.

She's torn between being angry for him going back to old ways and the fact he is her bio-dad.

When she was a baby, her mama took her to jail to see "daddy". 20 years later, she's going to the jail and taking HER baby to see him. My niece was "bonding Barbie out of jail" when she was three. No child that age should know so much about jail.

Please...put you and your child first. Whether he is in true recovery or not? It will come out. "Sloppy days" don't really speak recovery to me. I've had days when I was angry, depressed (wouldn't get out of bed) but I didn't have sloppy days.

Just my ES&H, but I hope you focus more on you and your child. FWIW? When I was with my last bf? His mother and nephews (who were my dope boys as we were both addicted to crack( BEGGED me to leave him and get my life together. They loved him, but they knew he wasn't going to change and for whatever reason, they believed I could. I still keep in touch with one of his nephews who is incredibly proud of me (but still sells crack )

My point is....had I listened to them? I could have saved myself a lot of problems.

Sorry for the length of my post, just been there done that with THREE XABFs.

Hugs and prayers,

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Old 09-15-2013, 11:32 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by halliegrants View Post
My bf only takes his prescription meds (Suboxone & Xanax) but people still think he's using. Instead of people thinking he must be on the up & up because he's w/ me they seem to be thinking "omg why is she w/ him?!" (We have overlapping circle of friends). He's been off street pills for recreational use for years, but he's been dealing w/ the aftermath of a Dr who overprescribed. He's on a much lower dose now, but he's not been out socially in a while so folks are going off of an outdated image of him. I want to be together but he comes w/ social baggage. I have a toddler to consider. Otherwise I wouldn't care what people thought. I know he's clean.

I don't know your ABF, so I can't make a truly honest assessment of whether he's using or not. It wouldn't be fair. I do believe, however, the potential for abuse is present with both of the medications you listed. So you have to be both honest with yourself about what it is you're seeing. Words mean nothing. Behavior does. Remember that.

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Old 09-15-2013, 11:40 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by halliegrants View Post
He told me he hasn't "used" in years (not counting scripts). I thought that was a good thing, right?
Just to put the abuse of prescription meds into perspective:

The numbers reported just a couple of days ago by ABC News, are based on the over 37,000 people who died of a prescription drug overdose in 2009, surpassing car accident deaths by 1,200 victims.
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Old 09-16-2013, 12:52 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by halliegrants View Post
He told me he hasn't "used" in years (not counting scripts). I thought that was a good thing, right? Does that sound like I'm making excuses? I believe him, I just wanted some feedback about what recovery might look like since obviously these meds are still in his life & not always in his system in a consistent fashion. How do other folks go about taking meds (like Xanax) for anxiety & not accidently take too many? That's why he gives his meds to his dad to hold. But if his dad withholds them it throws off his balance.
Forgive me, but how does he accidentally take to many?

I am a recovering addict and I have never accidentally taken to much of my prescription meds. Back in the day before recovery if I was prescribed a medicine and I took to much it was intentional. Of course that was when I was active in my addiction. Taking to much is considered using *at least in my neck of the woods it is*

I know you'd like to believe that he isn't using, but from the sound of him taking to much and having to have his pills monitored it strikes me as he is using.

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Old 09-16-2013, 02:10 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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I'm on 300mg of wellbutrin. Accidentally taking an extra one at that dosage can bring on seizures. Well, I accidentally did it one time but thankfully didn't have to run to the ER. I felt so miserable and was so scared that I established a fool proof system to make sure it didn't happen again.

"Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is a habit."
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