lalanique

Just when I thought I had escaped the insanity. My ex is two weeks into sobriety from opiates. I congratulate him on this but it doesn't change my concern for the safety of our children. He is living in a sober home & has been granted a wknd pass to his parents home. He wants to pick up the kids for an overnight after not seeing them for a month. They are 4&5 and I've told them he's out of town working to explain the abrupt change in visits. They miss him & are just beginning to adapt to so many changes. I'm not comfortable with an overnight, I was hoping he would take some more time to recover. There is a court order for visits & I haven't pursued a modification because it seemed that was the last thing we needed was a court battle. But last night he flipped out saying I couldn't keep the kids away & I felt like here we are again. Do I allow him to take the kids & pray for the best or do I go to court & let a judge decide!? I'm so torn, please help!

DG0409

What does the current court order for visits specify? Is he currently granted overnights?

lalanique

Yes for the past 3 years it's been 2 weeknight visits & every other wknd overnights. He has slowly come less & less over the past year & just recently stopped completely because of the program. I haven't put him in contempt, I've just been allowing him time to get better. Now suddenly he wants to pick up right were he left off while I've been picking up the pieces.

DG0409

I think until the court order changes you pretty much have to let the kids go.

If at all possible, I would talk to a lawyer about it. Is there time before the visit to even take the matter to court?

Another thing to consider is if you trust his parents to look after the kiddos. How is your relationship with them? Could you talk to them and ask them to be around the whole time and call you if they see anything concerning?

lalanique

Yes I have till next weekend to decide if I need to drag everyone through court. And yes there is a grandmother who will be there but another situation in itself. There is a court order in place that SHE isn't allowed to be left alone with the children due to a dcf case. I know what a mess!

ShootingStar1

I'd say err on the side of caution. Go back to Court and let him, given his recent stay at a rehab and with only 2 weeks sober, explain to the Judge why he is ready and able to care for young children overnight. And make sure the Court knows about the situation with his mother.

Then, if the Court allows him the same visitation, it will be with his knowledge that if he transgresses the least bit, the Court will be primed to take action against him.

This isn't being against him, this is being FOR your children.

ShootingStar1

lalanique

I am trying to avoid the dance in court because it is financially and emotionally draining. He called this afternoon to apologize for reacting the way he did and I have agreed to bring the kids for a visit with him at the park. I'm hoping that the kids will enjoy some time with him, allow him some time with them and motivation to continue with his journey to recovery. And I will be at ease knowing they won't be in any harm's way with me there. If he isn't satisfied with this arrangement and still wants immediate overnight, off to court I will go before his scheduled weekend. Thank you so much for listening & responding!! Wish us luck

DG0409

Glad to hear the two of you have worked it out, at least for now. Best of luck to both of you.