It's always the mom
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
It's always the mom
Hi, I have finally made it over to friends and family forum! I'm a mom trying my hardest to keep my two beautiful girls away from the rath of drug addiction. My 19 yr old is in IOP therapy, she goes everyday for 4 hours per day. Her DOC is/was heroin and other opiates. She was and still is my sweet middle child, always was a pleasure and wanted to please everyone. Well, this year has been a total nightmare (please see thread so sad so worried in the newbie section) I never had a clue she was suicidal (7 attempts in 6 years) all hidden or were never told to me or her father. The last attempt, I took SR very wise advice and called the police. They found her despondent running thru traffic. She was admitted to the psy. ward, she had taken 70 Xanax and tried to hang herself. I'm crying now as the thought of losing her, my baby, is so overwhelming. The marks on her neck were so dark and so real, I had to admit that maybe I wasn't the greatest parent that I thought I was. I tried. I did all the things moms are supposed to do, preschool, swimming lessons, going to the park, play groups, dance lessons, basketball, church, I tried and never forced her to do anything she felt uncomfortable with. So what went wrong? Why did this happen to not one but two of my children. I am in therapy, it's not helping yet, I go to group sessions with other parents, but all they do is cry and blame each other and society for their troubles. The blame game is very strong in therapy. I just want my girl back. For some reason she hates me. She says things like "don't you wish I would of killed myself?" or "I hate my life and I hate you!" I am alone, my husband couldn't survive the experience and lives in another state, gives me no emotional support and tells me to handle it. He wants a divorce, but wants to wait til our 14 yr old son turns 18(humm interesting). I guess what I'm asking is how do I go on living like this? What are responses a mom can say to an angry sober teen? I need a good comeback to the cruel disrespectful comments that she says, or does. I'm aware of her AV talking loud and clear in her mind. She has some very serious legal issues coming up that she needs to deal with. It just feels so overwhelming to me, that I feel like I'm losing it at times. I have no family support, my husband blames me because these kinds of addictions DON'T happen in his family, therefore, this is my fault. It just goes on and on and on. Please anyone, I need some desperate advise good or bad. I'm just lost, drowning in confusion'. Our financial situation isn't much better. One huge issue is what this is doing to my son. You know, sometimes I feel like I'm dying of a broken heart, seriously, my heart hurts. Sorry this is so long, I'm known for that flaw and will try to shorten things up in the future. I just had to get some of this out and off my chest before my mind decides its had enough. Thanks again SR. TF
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Thank you FTO, Just you reaching out to me gives me comfort. I never knew a person could have so many troubles in her life. My greatest job in my whole life was being a mom. This was a gift given to me from God, and I really messed this one up. I know breathe.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 157
Twofish,
I am sorry for your hurt. I have also hurt like you said...physically and mentally. I use to pray for a nervous breakdown so I could go to the hospital and "rest" I am married to a AH(meth) he lives in another state. Our divorce is tied up in court. ....thanks alot "justice system" I totally get the blame game at therapy. It gets old. My son is also an addict. He was just in jail for beating his wife in march.
I left my husband in april.
All I can tell you is you need to put some distance between you and your addict.. Whether or not that is good advice IDK. I am sure someone here will let us know... Some here have better advice than me. I had to cut off my husband and son for the most part. My son is better now. But there are still days I just can't listen to his bs on the other end of the line.....same goes for the AH...so i just let it ring....
I am trying to work, raise 3 girls, and go to school.... barely making it. So I just don't have time to listen to quacking.....
As for advice with the comebacks. I personally think that is a waste of time and energy. I use to do it. I am so tired of my AS and AD husband blame everything but them selves for there addiction. I have told my son on more than one occasion. There comes a point when you can't blame me or your dad for this any longer. We were not perfect parents. It is your choice to put that bottle to your mouth. We have both tried to get him into therapy and rehab. But he won't go. So now I see it as a choice.
As with my AH he also refuses rehab and therapy. I finally left because he was not only killing me mentally but, physically. (my dr. told me I was on a verge of a stroke at 39)
So I just had to leave him. I have begged for him to go to rehab. But now I realize that it is his choice not to go and suck on that glass pipe instead.
Let them make there choice. Don't kill your self cleaning up there mess. And it sounds like you have other children to take care of? What good are you going to do them if you are dead yourself?
Take care of you!
I am sorry your husband bailed.....men... i swear....
Someone just told me the other day. You have more strength than you think you have. Take a little space. Sometimes a little goes a long way
I am sorry for your hurt. I have also hurt like you said...physically and mentally. I use to pray for a nervous breakdown so I could go to the hospital and "rest" I am married to a AH(meth) he lives in another state. Our divorce is tied up in court. ....thanks alot "justice system" I totally get the blame game at therapy. It gets old. My son is also an addict. He was just in jail for beating his wife in march.
I left my husband in april.
All I can tell you is you need to put some distance between you and your addict.. Whether or not that is good advice IDK. I am sure someone here will let us know... Some here have better advice than me. I had to cut off my husband and son for the most part. My son is better now. But there are still days I just can't listen to his bs on the other end of the line.....same goes for the AH...so i just let it ring....
I am trying to work, raise 3 girls, and go to school.... barely making it. So I just don't have time to listen to quacking.....
As for advice with the comebacks. I personally think that is a waste of time and energy. I use to do it. I am so tired of my AS and AD husband blame everything but them selves for there addiction. I have told my son on more than one occasion. There comes a point when you can't blame me or your dad for this any longer. We were not perfect parents. It is your choice to put that bottle to your mouth. We have both tried to get him into therapy and rehab. But he won't go. So now I see it as a choice.
As with my AH he also refuses rehab and therapy. I finally left because he was not only killing me mentally but, physically. (my dr. told me I was on a verge of a stroke at 39)
So I just had to leave him. I have begged for him to go to rehab. But now I realize that it is his choice not to go and suck on that glass pipe instead.
Let them make there choice. Don't kill your self cleaning up there mess. And it sounds like you have other children to take care of? What good are you going to do them if you are dead yourself?
Take care of you!
I am sorry your husband bailed.....men... i swear....
Someone just told me the other day. You have more strength than you think you have. Take a little space. Sometimes a little goes a long way
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ontario
Posts: 180
Yup, it's not your fault. I don't think this stuff happens because of something you did that you shouldn't have, or something you didn't do that you should have.
The advice I read over and over is to go to a group meeting for family members, don't know if that is what you have already tried.
The advice I read over and over is to go to a group meeting for family members, don't know if that is what you have already tried.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
The only response, if one need respond is a hug, nothing more and no words are needed. Just give her a hug maybe a kiss on the cheek and walk away.
Why would you want to go back at her as she is coming at you. Don’t take the bait, don’t play the game, don’t react, don’t freak out, just love … it is so simple. You don’t need to add to her fuel, she has enough I am sure she can justify.
Also at 19 she is an adult you are not obligated to take care of her or have her live at home. My son was out, he had to be to much chaos for the younger ones ( they had a huge voice in this, because I gave them one, give your son a voice) … but then he wasn’t the sole cause of the chaos, my husband I am openly played into that madness for a short time.
Because this is how I am and with good reason…
Treat her with respect and as a capable human being, no matter how she acts … see her for more than she sees herself and let her take care of herself as she is most capable of doing that.
Let go.
Don’t enable, don’t fix, don’t rescue or make excuses for her. all those things will keep her trapped.
Why would you want to go back at her as she is coming at you. Don’t take the bait, don’t play the game, don’t react, don’t freak out, just love … it is so simple. You don’t need to add to her fuel, she has enough I am sure she can justify.
Also at 19 she is an adult you are not obligated to take care of her or have her live at home. My son was out, he had to be to much chaos for the younger ones ( they had a huge voice in this, because I gave them one, give your son a voice) … but then he wasn’t the sole cause of the chaos, my husband I am openly played into that madness for a short time.
Because this is how I am and with good reason…
Treat her with respect and as a capable human being, no matter how she acts … see her for more than she sees herself and let her take care of herself as she is most capable of doing that.
Let go.
Don’t enable, don’t fix, don’t rescue or make excuses for her. all those things will keep her trapped.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
We all do the best that we know how to do at the time.....
I'm not sure if this will help or not. My son is the addict in my life (his father is also an addict but I divorced him 30 years ago). This has been a dark and long path dealing with addiction in an adult child (although this began when he was 14). He has threatened suicide and said some pretty horrendous things to me over the years. Gory details of HOW he's going to kill himself. Telling me that I should have aborted him. The list goes on and on and on. He was addicted to meth (DOC) and heroin. I often say that his DOC was simply "more".
I reached a very low bottom myself. Racked with guilt and shame.
Understanding addiction helps some. I learned so much about addiction from reading (here on SR and a pile of books you wouldn't believe!). The most important thing I've done though is I've learned how to take care of myself. I learned this in the rooms of Nar-Anon (or Al-Anon if there is no Nar-Anon available). I learned that my son doesn't hate me....even though he has said it.....I understand that he is full of self loathing and his words and deeds are simply a way of projecting those feelings on me.
He is clean and sober at this point (to the best of my knowledge) but we've been to hell and back with him.
At some of the darkest times, the thing I said most to him was "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I love you". Regardless of what he was saying....those words gave ME the most comfort to say to him. I had to learn not to engage when he was acting out.
I'm so very sorry that you are dealing with this. The FEAR involved in loving an addict is huge......it is also the thing I had to let go of in order to cope.
You and your dear children will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
I'm not sure if this will help or not. My son is the addict in my life (his father is also an addict but I divorced him 30 years ago). This has been a dark and long path dealing with addiction in an adult child (although this began when he was 14). He has threatened suicide and said some pretty horrendous things to me over the years. Gory details of HOW he's going to kill himself. Telling me that I should have aborted him. The list goes on and on and on. He was addicted to meth (DOC) and heroin. I often say that his DOC was simply "more".
I reached a very low bottom myself. Racked with guilt and shame.
Understanding addiction helps some. I learned so much about addiction from reading (here on SR and a pile of books you wouldn't believe!). The most important thing I've done though is I've learned how to take care of myself. I learned this in the rooms of Nar-Anon (or Al-Anon if there is no Nar-Anon available). I learned that my son doesn't hate me....even though he has said it.....I understand that he is full of self loathing and his words and deeds are simply a way of projecting those feelings on me.
He is clean and sober at this point (to the best of my knowledge) but we've been to hell and back with him.
At some of the darkest times, the thing I said most to him was "I'm sorry you feel that way" and "I love you". Regardless of what he was saying....those words gave ME the most comfort to say to him. I had to learn not to engage when he was acting out.
I'm so very sorry that you are dealing with this. The FEAR involved in loving an addict is huge......it is also the thing I had to let go of in order to cope.
You and your dear children will be in my prayers.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Hey, Thank you so much for the reassurance and for caring about me. I have felt so alone for so long I almost wanted to have a nervous breakdown so I could go to the hospital and have someone care and love me! I really feel that way. Our financial situation is getting so out of hand, with all these medical bills (please, I AM grateful they saved her life and are working with her) the clinic suggested kindly, that we look into a supplemental insurance called Badger care, I am already on disability so we could be eligible. When I mentioned this to my husband, he went ballistic on me, how dare I suggest we go on some type on welfare. Well, dear, since our mortgage payment over drafted, kids are hungry, the car broke down, etc, etc, etc. Where is all the money going then? He just yells back and says I'm stupid and that I don't get it. Well, I DO get it. He is living beyond his means. I certainly am not. I would love to get my hair cut(it's been 2years) where he goes every 6 weeks. Enough about that crap. I just can't seem to get this thought of trying to fix, heal, put back together thoughts out of my head. I know they are adults, but, they are broken adults and I can't seem to let it go. I will treat them with respect but they can clean up their own messes. I know I'm new to this recovery thing, but, does it ever get better? Our home seems so "doom and gloom" not happy and thriving like it should be. Where did the love go, down the blame drain? I do feel in my heart that something good will come out of this, when, I do not know. But please, keep talking to me, I am a good listener, I take advise well. I want so badly for my children to heal and I know that they must want it, not just me.ah yes, the therapy meetings, it feels more like marriage therapy. I'm the sole single parent so I don't argue with myself. But the others, the yelling, crying blaming and carrying on, I can see why some of these kids may turn to drugs just to help fix their emotional pain. I still go, I still care. I still so appreciate SR
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
I know I'm new to this recovery thing, but, does it ever get better?
Cleaning up the messes, fixing things......only serves to further cripple the addicts we love. Each time we do it, we send a loud and clear message that they are incapable without us......that is part of our defects (for lack of a better term) that keeps us in the dance of addiction. We play a part.
When we learn to take good care of ourselves, we demonstrate the tools they need to survive and thrive in this world.
We can't love them clean and sober.....that doesn't work. But we can love ourselves to a healthier state of mind, body, and spirit.
I got so "sick" that I WAS in the hospital when I completely collapsed and had a full on breakdown. Brene Brown describes her own "breakdown" which her sponsor lovingly refers to as an "awakening". She wrote a wonderful book called "The Gift of Imperfection". It talks about how to live our lives in a way that is true to ourselves yet with great compassion for those around us. I had to have my "awakening aka breakdown" to get to the point that I was completely open to doing whatever someone told me to do to help myself get better. I worked the 12 steps the way I wished my son would work them. I can't say that it got him clean and sober but it sure made a HUGE difference in my life. Life altering. But it only works, if I work it.
Being the mother of an addict(s) isn't for weenies.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
Hi Twofish...Kindeyes is right....being the mother of an addict isn't for weenies. I'm sorry you are struggling. We definitely have to reach our own bottom before we can say "no more..." and decide we have to put ourselves first or we are going to go down with them. I finally reached a spot where I decided I would no longer do for my son what he is capable of doing for himself. As long as he knew I'd swoop in and bail him out he never had to look inward for any solutions.
You may have heard the al-anon slogan "the 3 c's" before. It says "We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it". I read a twist on this saying earlier (thanks Pravchaw for recommending Libby Cataldi's book "Stay Close"). The twist says "We didn't cause it, we can't cure it, but we can CONTRIBUTE to it" if we aren't careful. By enabling, etc. I found that really interesting. I believe it to be true. I do think I contributed, unwittingly, to my son's downward spiral.
I also heard another great saying earlier today...it's been an enlightening day for sure. Here it is:
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
It's a good reminder that much of what I "want" to take responsibility for...isn't mine to own.
Hang in there....this is a great spot for support.
You may have heard the al-anon slogan "the 3 c's" before. It says "We didn't cause it, we can't cure it and we can't control it". I read a twist on this saying earlier (thanks Pravchaw for recommending Libby Cataldi's book "Stay Close"). The twist says "We didn't cause it, we can't cure it, but we can CONTRIBUTE to it" if we aren't careful. By enabling, etc. I found that really interesting. I believe it to be true. I do think I contributed, unwittingly, to my son's downward spiral.
I also heard another great saying earlier today...it's been an enlightening day for sure. Here it is:
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
It's a good reminder that much of what I "want" to take responsibility for...isn't mine to own.
Hang in there....this is a great spot for support.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 455
Twofish,
I'm sorry for your pain and pray that you find strength and guidance. My AD put us through a tremedous amount of drama and pain with her crazed/dangerous/violent/suicidal behavior. Having a front row seat to it almost cost me my sanity. My AD was very sick when we made her move out, but it was not an option for her to stay home in active addiction because she made our home a dangerous and unsafe place to be. I put her in God's hands because mine could not hold her. It has been a few years since she moved out and she has traveled a rough road. Today she is surviving (still in addiction and legal trouble) but we have a workable relationship where we respect each others' boundaries. I hope she will straighten out one day but it is entirely up to her.
I'm sorry for your pain and pray that you find strength and guidance. My AD put us through a tremedous amount of drama and pain with her crazed/dangerous/violent/suicidal behavior. Having a front row seat to it almost cost me my sanity. My AD was very sick when we made her move out, but it was not an option for her to stay home in active addiction because she made our home a dangerous and unsafe place to be. I put her in God's hands because mine could not hold her. It has been a few years since she moved out and she has traveled a rough road. Today she is surviving (still in addiction and legal trouble) but we have a workable relationship where we respect each others' boundaries. I hope she will straighten out one day but it is entirely up to her.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 4,966
Twofish, please do not blame yourself! I don't care if you have to enlarge and print out those three C's and paste them up on all of your walls in your home in order to remember them! I've read your entire thread and believe that you are and were always an excellent mother!
I am an addict and cannot blame my addiction on my parents or childhood for that matter. My oldest daughter just got married last weekend. Today I received a text from her regarding some leftover brochures that were handed out at her wedding. She writes, "you should have put those in a safe place, now I don't have one for myself." Nothing in the text says "I hope you reached home safely (drove from NY to WS and back again) or thank you for the wedding gift" ....now, mind you, she never even asked me to take care of those brochures nor did I even have possession of them. One of her ushers, a grown adult, was handing them out at her wedding.
I never responded to that text. They weren't my problem to begin with nor will I make it my problem now. She should have taken some out for herself before they were handed out.
I don't have a lot of advice but I think the responses you recieved so far are good ones!
As far as hubby goes, you need to set up some kind of financial arrangement. He doesn't get to walk out on his family like that.
(((((Big hugs to you!)))))
I am an addict and cannot blame my addiction on my parents or childhood for that matter. My oldest daughter just got married last weekend. Today I received a text from her regarding some leftover brochures that were handed out at her wedding. She writes, "you should have put those in a safe place, now I don't have one for myself." Nothing in the text says "I hope you reached home safely (drove from NY to WS and back again) or thank you for the wedding gift" ....now, mind you, she never even asked me to take care of those brochures nor did I even have possession of them. One of her ushers, a grown adult, was handing them out at her wedding.
I never responded to that text. They weren't my problem to begin with nor will I make it my problem now. She should have taken some out for herself before they were handed out.
I don't have a lot of advice but I think the responses you recieved so far are good ones!
As far as hubby goes, you need to set up some kind of financial arrangement. He doesn't get to walk out on his family like that.
(((((Big hugs to you!)))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
gentle hugs
ke
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 349
Two fish, another mom here of a RAS who also feels your pain. Like so many before me have said, addiction does not discriminate. Unfortunately, too many of our kids fall into the trap of addiction and it has nothing to do with their families or upbringing. As some of the other posters mentioned we all did our best raising our kids. That's why for me it was so hard to accept what happened with my son. Why did he turn to drugs and not my daughter or other son. What I'm trying to say is please don't beat up on yourself for why your daughter got to where she is. As for her remarks, I can also relate to this as so many other mom and dads surely can. When my son was at the height of his drug using he told me I meant nothing to him. I just could not believe those words came out of his mouth. But I knew better. There was no way in hell he would ever say this to me if we wasn't on drugs. And, I am sure this is the same with your daughter. Those hurtful words she says is not her talking. Learning to hold our tongue and not lashing back is not easy. But if we can just say as Kind Eyes pointed out I love you and am sorry you feel this way, I think it leaves us, as parents, in a better place. Because when you get right down to it, we truly do love our kids despite their struggles. Letting my son do what he is capable of doing himself and brought about a huge change in him. Don't get me wrong, there have been many times during my sons recovery where I chose to help out because I knew he couldn't do it but I was very selective about how I could help. This, thankfully, was possible because of all I learned on SR. There are a lot of of wise people here Twofish.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Twofish, my heart and prayers go out for you and your children.
I am the mother of an addict too. For years I tried to help/fix/save my son, letting him turn my home into a war zone. He would find recovery and stick with it a while then inevitably relapse and the cycle would continue.
I became very sick over this, like you I lived in fear all day every day and it began to eat me alive.
What helped me, what literally saved my life, was to find meetings and go every week, and learn to work a 12 step program that has been the foundation of my recovery ever since.
Maybe see if there are meetings in your area, Al-anon seems to have more if there are no Nar-anon meetings. CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) was my home fellowship for years and is another similar fellowship that is about us finding out balance again and learning to live healthy lives.
Stick around, the sticky-posts at the top of this forum have a lot of helpful information, and know that you are among friends who understand.
Hugs
I am the mother of an addict too. For years I tried to help/fix/save my son, letting him turn my home into a war zone. He would find recovery and stick with it a while then inevitably relapse and the cycle would continue.
I became very sick over this, like you I lived in fear all day every day and it began to eat me alive.
What helped me, what literally saved my life, was to find meetings and go every week, and learn to work a 12 step program that has been the foundation of my recovery ever since.
Maybe see if there are meetings in your area, Al-anon seems to have more if there are no Nar-anon meetings. CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) was my home fellowship for years and is another similar fellowship that is about us finding out balance again and learning to live healthy lives.
Stick around, the sticky-posts at the top of this forum have a lot of helpful information, and know that you are among friends who understand.
Hugs
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
Thanks very much for this thread and all your thoughts. I am going to save this for future reading. I have learnt so much from the mothers of addicted young people here (and a few dads) over the last few months, its just astounding. A few months ago I was a confused, angry, bitter man driven half mad with frustration and failure to fix my son. Now thanks to you all, I understand addiction a lot better and compassion for my son is coming back. As lizwig mentioned above that we contribute to their addiction by enabling or rescuing. We instead need to "stay close" but at the same time away from the chaos and the mess of their lives. We need to take care of ourselves first, so we are available to throw them a lifeline when they are truly ready to help themselves. Wearing ourselves out before they want to get better is stupid.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Yes I am absorbing these wise pieces of advise. My life as the mom of not one but two addicts seems to get worse as the days go on. Today, it's certified letters from agencies that she owes money to, IRS letter threatening to take any money or tax refunds she may have(she has none). Also the legal troubles are coming up in two weeks. I want so desperately to rescue her, pay her bills, fix her so she can have a fresh start. We don't have much money, but I could help in some way. I fear her future is going to be ruined if I don't step in and help. The guilt is eating me up inside. I never smile anymore. This gossipy town is not a kind understanding place to live. I don't judge people, so why am I being judged for something I didn't even do? Someone started a rumor that I was telling "everyone" she was injecting opiates into her neck. How absurd, why would I harm the very person I love with all my heart? Sure, I confided to my Pastor, not about the neck thing, but of other drug issues, but I didn't get up onto the podium and give a sermon to the congregation on the girls troubles. Plus I trust my Pastor, I don't believe he would betray me by gossiping. Why do I feel so responsible? I'm gonna remember the three c's and put them around my home. That would defiantly help me. I wish I had a friend, someone I could sit with and pour my heart out and get a hug from, not that I don't appreciate SR, I do very much, but one on one, face to face interaction helps so much. My Dr. is a great help, but he's my Dr. Not a friend. That addicted voice everyone talks about, seems to have crept into my mind and won't shut up. It just keeps talking and lying and killing my feeling, slowly, but still won't let it go. Won't give me a break. These girls ARE adults but continue to act like children. The older one wants to come home this week end, no way in he$$ am I gonna allow that. She will just crush all the progress the younger has made. Then my voice says if she stays at school this weekend, she will be using again, calling and texting at all hours about what a bad mom I am. It just doesn't want to let up, it won't give me a break, it won't stop. Can this get any lower, any worse? As long as Sr keeps talking to me I will continue to listen. This is a very long twisted road I find myself walking on. I can't get to much lower before things start to look up again. I'm ranting, I'm sorry, forgive me once more. TF
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
TF, your grief is palpable and we parents understand. The only way out for you is to detach. Your girls stopped growing the day started using - so even though they are adults, emotionally they are children. By not enabling you are doing them a favour. They are forced to grow up. I refused to allow my son to live at our home - now he is faced with a choice, get into a recovery program and recover or continue using and live in poverty with no life and no future. Till now he has chosen the latter. How long till he hits his bottom? I don't know. We continue to stay in touch and encourage him - tell him I love him but provide no money or a place to live.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
