Is My boyfriend using? Friends and family please help
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NY
Posts: 11
Is My boyfriend using? Friends and family please help
I am a former opiate addict, and my boyfriend is a former heroin addict. I have tried H once, with him, however I am not too keen on the signs/paraphenelia of use
After a 3-4 week break (his emotions were all over the place, I felt he was lying about about some things) our first night together I saw bruises on his arms. He just started a new job, which he says the bruises are from. After taking a closer look they were all on veins, and a greenish yellow bruising. One being on the inner part of the arm where an IV would go, do you think its possible to actually get a bruise in that area?
He swears he as not been using.
The day before this he picked me up in his cousins car, who he used to get heroin from and I know still uses.
After it driving me so crazy I wanted proof, I asked him to get drug tested, he said he would just to prove it to me, after 5 days I think he was hoping I'd forget. I noticed him being in the bathroom for 15 minutes at a time, in the middle of the night I heard him fishing around in his closet, He was in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, came back in with a cold water bottle (when we had a case of room water in the bedroom)
The following night I went through his trash in his bedroom. I found many qtips that looked like they had dark dried up blood on them, along with 2 empty drug bags that looks like some powder was in it. Also he had many lighters in his nightstand (he does not smoke). Also I know he is making good money at work, last night he made a comment that he is already broke.
He does not seem ****** up, when I confronted about the bloody/ dark qtips he said his ear was bleeding ( trying to get an earring back throught today), but these qips were clearly not from one day, unless he was trying to get it through every day for the last 2 weeks.
Last clue was he has not been able to finish- orgasm the last couple times we ve had sex.
He swears hes not using. I feel like a crazy girlfriend, but feel i'm being lied to. Any ex users have any input?
Sorry for the lengthyness, just really need some advice, Thank You!
After a 3-4 week break (his emotions were all over the place, I felt he was lying about about some things) our first night together I saw bruises on his arms. He just started a new job, which he says the bruises are from. After taking a closer look they were all on veins, and a greenish yellow bruising. One being on the inner part of the arm where an IV would go, do you think its possible to actually get a bruise in that area?
He swears he as not been using.
The day before this he picked me up in his cousins car, who he used to get heroin from and I know still uses.
After it driving me so crazy I wanted proof, I asked him to get drug tested, he said he would just to prove it to me, after 5 days I think he was hoping I'd forget. I noticed him being in the bathroom for 15 minutes at a time, in the middle of the night I heard him fishing around in his closet, He was in the bathroom for about 20 minutes, came back in with a cold water bottle (when we had a case of room water in the bedroom)
The following night I went through his trash in his bedroom. I found many qtips that looked like they had dark dried up blood on them, along with 2 empty drug bags that looks like some powder was in it. Also he had many lighters in his nightstand (he does not smoke). Also I know he is making good money at work, last night he made a comment that he is already broke.
He does not seem ****** up, when I confronted about the bloody/ dark qtips he said his ear was bleeding ( trying to get an earring back throught today), but these qips were clearly not from one day, unless he was trying to get it through every day for the last 2 weeks.
Last clue was he has not been able to finish- orgasm the last couple times we ve had sex.
He swears hes not using. I feel like a crazy girlfriend, but feel i'm being lied to. Any ex users have any input?
Sorry for the lengthyness, just really need some advice, Thank You!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,103
In my opinion he probably never stopped using.
You have all the proof you need, what you chose to do about it is where I think you are stuck.
Which will be more painful for you, to stay and watch him destroy himself and everything around him?
Or
Leave someone who lies to you, manipulates you and deal with the pain of a relationship ending and move on with your life.
The choice is all yours, not his.
You have all the proof you need, what you chose to do about it is where I think you are stuck.
Which will be more painful for you, to stay and watch him destroy himself and everything around him?
Or
Leave someone who lies to you, manipulates you and deal with the pain of a relationship ending and move on with your life.
The choice is all yours, not his.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
What was your style of opiates? Ive never met anyone who has only used heroin once... if you have, I am jealous.
Using looks like using. Think back to when you were on the junk, all opiates are the same. you know already.
How does this effect your recovery?? Knowing there are opiates in the house??
I remember when I first met D, I posted about him all the time and was he using and now he is going to rehab and now he has relapsed... It was not long until I was stealing his dope. But thats just me I guess. Im a smoker myself, Ive heard that slamming is really hard to come back from.
Im so sorry for the things that have brought you here. Please be careful. My ex-dealer used needles and was HIV positive. He still shared needles anyways, and had girls over all the time and infected them in exchange for sex and dope. They had no clue. I didnt even know until He ODed and we (D and I) took him to the hospital.
Then we both went and got tested, even though we both only smoked. It was scary, but when the test came back it was sooo worth it.
Hugs to you. Be safe.
Using looks like using. Think back to when you were on the junk, all opiates are the same. you know already.
How does this effect your recovery?? Knowing there are opiates in the house??
I remember when I first met D, I posted about him all the time and was he using and now he is going to rehab and now he has relapsed... It was not long until I was stealing his dope. But thats just me I guess. Im a smoker myself, Ive heard that slamming is really hard to come back from.
Im so sorry for the things that have brought you here. Please be careful. My ex-dealer used needles and was HIV positive. He still shared needles anyways, and had girls over all the time and infected them in exchange for sex and dope. They had no clue. I didnt even know until He ODed and we (D and I) took him to the hospital.
Then we both went and got tested, even though we both only smoked. It was scary, but when the test came back it was sooo worth it.
Hugs to you. Be safe.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
My AH is an iv User and I let him stay with me until he stole our daughters ipad bc he was sick and desperate. The bruises are normal, so are the qtips and lighters for an iv User. Its a sickness and all we can do is protect ourselves, our kids and are valuables. Unfortunately if he doesn't get professional help it will be nearly impossible for him to just stop. Change your passwords to any bank accounts and protect yourself. HIV is a real possibility, even if he shares water with someone affected he will get it. I mean needle water. Please protect yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: WA
Posts: 124
Every one of those signs would point to heroin use in my daughter.
And the Q-TIPS...my gosh. They were everywhere when I cleaned out her room. Finally figured out it was for a filter to draw the liquid through. (We know waaaaaay too much about this life.)
And the Q-TIPS...my gosh. They were everywhere when I cleaned out her room. Finally figured out it was for a filter to draw the liquid through. (We know waaaaaay too much about this life.)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: NY
Posts: 11
I know this post was some time ago but wanted to update-
After finding a bag of heroin in his drawer, he still denied. We soon broke up because of all the lying (other lies), although he still denies the H was his (come on), and denied he was using.
I went to his best friend and told him everything, I did feel guilty leaving him high and dry ( no pun intended) His friend is STILL trying to get him help which he denies
We have now been broken up for a month, I did all I could to help but sometimes you need to let people get to their low on their own..
Thanks everyone for the support and replies on this!!
After finding a bag of heroin in his drawer, he still denied. We soon broke up because of all the lying (other lies), although he still denies the H was his (come on), and denied he was using.
I went to his best friend and told him everything, I did feel guilty leaving him high and dry ( no pun intended) His friend is STILL trying to get him help which he denies
We have now been broken up for a month, I did all I could to help but sometimes you need to let people get to their low on their own..
Thanks everyone for the support and replies on this!!
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