allthatsgood

My younger RAS has been in recovery for over a year from drugs but I found out today his older brother by a year has a drinking problem that is apparently spiraling out of control. Don't know if I have the strength to deal with this.

LoveMeNow

I am so sorry (((allthatsgood)))

You and your family are in my prayers.

Ann

I'm sorry too. Maybe don't deal with it, maybe say a prayer and let God and your son deal with it. Doing that keeps me sane and from worrying what my son is up to today.

Hugs from this mama's heart.

lizwig

I'm so sorry to hear this...I've told you before how much I appreciate the stories of hope you've shared with me. Sending prayers for strength and serenity to you. Even though we have some recovery to fall back on we still feel powerless when the initial kick lands. Big hugs to you tonight. My heart is sad for you.

Raider

I'm very sorry.

sojourner

Hello Allthatsgood: I was sharing something along these lines at a meeting the other day. I grew up with an alcoholic father who was in and out of recovery through that great program of AA. He eventually took his own life. I grew up only to marry a man whose DOC was cocaine. I went to Al-Anon, which saved my life, and my husband eventually found recovery only to relapse. That marriage ended in divorce, and we have never been on good terms. So when I finally realized that my youngest son was into drugs, I did spend some time in the thick of it with him, but I really pretty quickly distanced myself from him. Even though it has been hard on me, I can see that I am much more accepting of distancing myself than others who are just experiencing it for the first time. The distancing I am talking about is really more emotional, but it is also physical at this point.

I have read elsewhere of parents who, as subsequent children become involved in substances, dealt with it in a much swifter manner.

It is a normal and healthy thing for you to realize you do not have the strength to deal with this. Keep coming back and step up those meetings!!

Sojourner

allthatsgood

Well I guess the good news is that I'm not a complete novice anymore. I've learned a great deal about addiction because of my younger son and hopefully I don't make the same mistakes when it comes to my older son. Thank you all for your kind words.

sojourner

And here is another way to look at it. Your older son will also benefit from your experience in that, by your interactions regarding him, he will more quickly reach that place where he has to carry his pain and cannot "load" it off on you, and you will be quicker in being that voice that steers him toward where to find real recovery. It is a win-win situation for you and your son as well as the rest of your family.