OT - URGENT Prayers for my mama
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
I am fighting with myself here. I apologize that you all have to witness it, but right now I feel so lost in space. One minute I am okay and the next I am not. One minute I am convinced my mama will recover and the next minute I am afraid. One minute I look at her recovery as a process and the next I wonder if this is a transition. Like giving birth, it is most painful when you start to transition. Is my mama laboring and headed into the transition? Is what is at the end not giving birth, but death for her? Are we in the final days of my mama's life?
I wish it was a simple as to drop everything and run to her, but being a single mom and having to make sure kids are okay and things on the home front are in order. Being a single parent and one who works to pay the bills. I can't just leave and not secure things at home.
There is nothing I can do but extend trust to the Lord that he has everything under control and that there is nothing that I can do better than he. Trust that if he is going to ultimately take her home he will allow me to see her before he does. It has been 20 years since I last saw my mama and now I can't seem to get to her fast enough for my heart to be content. I feel horribly guilty that I am not already on the plane and almost there. So torn, but still clean and sober!
Passion
I wish it was a simple as to drop everything and run to her, but being a single mom and having to make sure kids are okay and things on the home front are in order. Being a single parent and one who works to pay the bills. I can't just leave and not secure things at home.
There is nothing I can do but extend trust to the Lord that he has everything under control and that there is nothing that I can do better than he. Trust that if he is going to ultimately take her home he will allow me to see her before he does. It has been 20 years since I last saw my mama and now I can't seem to get to her fast enough for my heart to be content. I feel horribly guilty that I am not already on the plane and almost there. So torn, but still clean and sober!
Passion
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
I'm so sorry for your pain. Just like your recovery you need to deal with this one day at a time. We are all prayng for you, your family and especially your mama. Is there any chance you could email a letter to a family member to read to her? Possibly talk on the phone? When my daddy was dying at 48 from leukemia (20 years ago yesterday to be exact) I wasn't able to go as I had just visited for 6 weeks I felt such relief to know he was able to hear my voice. Apparently just before he passed he sat up....outstretched his arms...a huge smile of recognition came across his face....He lay back down and took his very least breath. My sisters and mum were there with him. The thought of that moment, and what he must have seen, brings me comfort to this day. Your mother's outcome is in God's hands. I wish you peace, strength and grace as you deal with the unknown. Send her your healing prayers and trust they are being heard. Big hug...xoxo
Last edited by lizwig; 08-28-2013 at 06:15 PM. Reason: typo
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
I've been where you are at right now and I feel your pain.. Sending you much love, hugs and prayers for you and your mom.. Just know that you have cyber friends that will give you the support you need ((((hug)))) and when her time comes, my dad will be greeting her as well..
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Nyte....
I lost my mom in February....so I know the pain and fear you are experiencing.
Turn your fear to faith sweetheart....God's got this. He has big big plans for her either here...or there....only he knows.
My heart goes out to you...and many prayers are being said from this homefront.
I lost my mom in February....so I know the pain and fear you are experiencing.
Turn your fear to faith sweetheart....God's got this. He has big big plans for her either here...or there....only he knows.
My heart goes out to you...and many prayers are being said from this homefront.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Sweetie, she's 94, her days are numbered no matter what. My mama was 90 and had led a full and wonderful life, she was sick and worn out and a woman of faith and she was ready to go home and saw death as a part of life, it was simply the next part of the journey.
If you can find a way to go see her, then go. If you cannot, she knows you love her and she will continue her journey whether it will be here on earth or with God.
I don't think we are ever ready to lose our mothers, no matter how old or ready to go they are. That's a tribute to our love for them. But I can promise you that they never leave us, their spirit and their memories remain with us forever. I still "hear" my mama whispering to me when I need to hear her, I still talk to her when I need to, and I carry her with me every day in my heart.
You'll be okay, and so will your mama. God has this all worked out and all we need to do is trust that life and death are right on schedule.
Hugs
If you can find a way to go see her, then go. If you cannot, she knows you love her and she will continue her journey whether it will be here on earth or with God.
I don't think we are ever ready to lose our mothers, no matter how old or ready to go they are. That's a tribute to our love for them. But I can promise you that they never leave us, their spirit and their memories remain with us forever. I still "hear" my mama whispering to me when I need to hear her, I still talk to her when I need to, and I carry her with me every day in my heart.
You'll be okay, and so will your mama. God has this all worked out and all we need to do is trust that life and death are right on schedule.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: PM me....
Posts: 468
Originally Posted by Ann 
Sweetie, she's 94, her days are numbered no matter what. My mama was 90 and had led a full and wonderful life, she was sick and worn out and a woman of faith and she was ready to go home and saw death as a part of life, it was simply the next part of the journey.
If you can find a way to go see her, then go. If you cannot, she knows you love her and she will continue her journey whether it will be here on earth or with God.
I don't think we are ever ready to lose our mothers, no matter how old or ready to go they are. That's a tribute to our love for them. But I can promise you that they never leave us, their spirit and their memories remain with us forever. I still "hear" my mama whispering to me when I need to hear her, I still talk to her when I need to, and I carry her with me every day in my heart.
You'll be okay, and so will your mama. God has this all worked out and all we need to do is trust that life and death are right on schedule.
Hugs
If you can find a way to go see her, then go. If you cannot, she knows you love her and she will continue her journey whether it will be here on earth or with God.
I don't think we are ever ready to lose our mothers, no matter how old or ready to go they are. That's a tribute to our love for them. But I can promise you that they never leave us, their spirit and their memories remain with us forever. I still "hear" my mama whispering to me when I need to hear her, I still talk to her when I need to, and I carry her with me every day in my heart.
You'll be okay, and so will your mama. God has this all worked out and all we need to do is trust that life and death are right on schedule.
Hugs
Dang Ann...you need to teach a class on how to know all the right things to say at just the right moment.
Seriously Nyte....
Losing my mom has been the hardest thing I have ever gone thru....and it's only been 6 months but I am upright, happy and trudging along....
Because, as Ann says....you can hear them whisper in your ear and mine says "Get on with living".
Guard your sobriety Nyte.
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