This hurts like hell
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 65
This hurts like hell
I've finally had to say enough. My agf can't pull herself out of this relapse. Not with me here cushioning her fall. I've been frightened, angry, resentful, sad, and everything in between. I've known in my gut for a while now that I have to step out so she can step up.
I have a wonderful therapist and will be going to alanon more frequently now. Im a mess. In letting go I have to face me now. I will be okay, wont I?
I have a wonderful therapist and will be going to alanon more frequently now. Im a mess. In letting go I have to face me now. I will be okay, wont I?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 577
You will be good. Some days will be harder than others. Acknowledge your feelings as they come. Possibly start a gratitude journal, write 5 things a day you are grateful for. I found once I started putting my own needs first it gave me so much freedom. It doesn't mean you don't love her, it means you love yourself enough to stop the madness. I try to remind myself (on a near daily basis) that my son's higher power cannot step in to help if I am busy blocking the doorway. I've heard it said here that until we let go of our end of the rope we are essentially holding them up...stopping them from landing on their rears. I don't want to chase after my son with a cushion to soften his fall anymore. It was exhausting and I didn't like who I had become. Thinking of you...sending you strength.
Sometimes stepping out is the very best thing for all parties.
Too much care can be counter productive and keep a bad situation going.
Hopefully, sometimes, a separation brings other positive parties on board to help.
Interference (support) can be a multi edged sword.
Too much care can be counter productive and keep a bad situation going.
Hopefully, sometimes, a separation brings other positive parties on board to help.
Interference (support) can be a multi edged sword.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: St. Louis, Mo. USA
Posts: 265
OH it is so nice to here someone that get's it.!
You have just done the best thing for her you could. I am proud of you, I know how hard it is. But she won't seek help if we enable.
Stay strong, hang in there, Soon it will be one day at a time. Keep working the program. Nar-Anon has helped me through my issues. Work the steps they help.
You have just done the best thing for her you could. I am proud of you, I know how hard it is. But she won't seek help if we enable.
Stay strong, hang in there, Soon it will be one day at a time. Keep working the program. Nar-Anon has helped me through my issues. Work the steps they help.
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