Why do I want him back? Because I cant have him, thats why.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: In bizarroworld
Posts: 94
Why do I want him back? Because I cant have him, thats why.
Ah, I love those moments of clarity. I dont want my exabf and his health issues and constant whining and complaining. Add the lying, manipulations and relapses and I've been mourning the loss of him why? Because I can't have the person I fell in love with? The first 7 months that I hang on to, all he did was complain and moan and I was his counselor, mother, banker and lover. Yes, its great to be loved and wanted and with someone but, after that first relapse to now, its been over 5 years! Five years of my struggling through college and trying to save him. Eesh!
It's been hard without him, but thats cos I was (am) addicted to him. Other than that... It took me until I was 47 to get sober. I'll be damned if it'll take me 47 months to get over him!
A moment of lucidity the day before my senior year starts. :-)
It's been hard without him, but thats cos I was (am) addicted to him. Other than that... It took me until I was 47 to get sober. I'll be damned if it'll take me 47 months to get over him!
A moment of lucidity the day before my senior year starts. :-)
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
Congratulations on getting this far in your education in spite of his draining influence.
It is amazing how long nostalgia for the good times can keep us hooked. Sometimes the good times last only about a week, but the nostalgia for that week can keep some people in a relationship for years.
Reality is always knocking on the door. Every day. We hide under the covers but sooner or later we have to open the door and deal with it.
So, stay well and keep getting educated. Good luck!
It is amazing how long nostalgia for the good times can keep us hooked. Sometimes the good times last only about a week, but the nostalgia for that week can keep some people in a relationship for years.
Reality is always knocking on the door. Every day. We hide under the covers but sooner or later we have to open the door and deal with it.
So, stay well and keep getting educated. Good luck!
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 40
That is true, we keep longing for the "good moments", a lot of them which only happened in our minds. Living a life with an addict is complicated, but yes sometimes we want them in our lives, to save them and to build a future. But those moments of clarity come when you say "this is really what I want my life to be like?"
I hang on to those moments of clarity in the times times that I also think about maybe giving another chance to what I had with my exabf. The person you (and me) fell in love with will never be back or maybe in my case, never existed, as hard as it may sound.
Stay strong and stay working in building your own life and happiness!
I hang on to those moments of clarity in the times times that I also think about maybe giving another chance to what I had with my exabf. The person you (and me) fell in love with will never be back or maybe in my case, never existed, as hard as it may sound.
Stay strong and stay working in building your own life and happiness!
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