Emancipation
 

This inspiration is from
Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men
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“Nobody can give you freedom. Nobody can give you equality or justice or anything. If you’re a man, you take it.”
—Malcolm X

It does little good to complain about our wives or parents or lovers. We only accentuate our role as victims when we say, “I would be happier if she were different.” “If he would just get off my back, I would act better.” We each have a side which is loyal to the victim within. Some of us take comfort in acting helpless and being taken care of; some of us relish the power of being catered to; some of us wallow in self-pity. These patterns of thought ****** our recovery and put a drag on our relationships. When we decide that we aren’t willing to live this way any longer, we are ready to assert our independence.
Real emancipation can’t come at someone else’s initiative or as a gift. It can only begin from within, by saying, “I will take my independence.” Then we begin to be responsible men because we own it on the inside.
Today, I will not wait for others to set me free. I will do what is within my own power to be a free man.

Freedom for me....emancipation......didn't come about as a result of leaving my addicted loved one. Did I need to go through periods of limited contact? Absolutely. But that was to reinforce my own need for focusing on myself. Addiction in a loved one is a tremendous distraction.

I found myself playing the victim. Being an unnecessary martyr. Filled with self pity. Why me? Why my son? Why?

It wasn't until I took control of MY life that change began to occur. It wasn't until I released my need to play the victim that my life began to improve. It wasn't until I began to let go of things (and people) that I was desperately trying to control that I gained control over my own life. It wasn't until I let go and allowed a power greater than myself to handle those things that I just couldn't.....that I found peace.

Emancipation.....freedom.....freedom.....isn't bestowed......it resides inside each of us.

I will be forever grateful for this lesson.......

Since a few months ago, the word "recovery" has taken on new meaning for me. At first, I saw it in terms of "getting better" from an illness, or an accident. Like a period after some sort of physical trauma where the body heals and you eventually get back to your daily routine.

But the type of recovery that I'm experiencing now is a different sort of thing: emotional/spiritual weights that I had tied to my feet since childhood are coming off, blinders that had been attached to my head for so long have been removed, and the mirror that I avoided for so long now shows me someone who doesn't need to fix others in order to feel loved.

I've started calling this process "liberation" rather than "recovery." It IS a process, I know, and I have a long road ahead of me, but it's so much more hopeful now, and I have so much less fear than when I started walking it.