When it's time to end the relationship with my AW.....
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 628
Your primary concern has to be the child. I don't know the details but having read through some of your earlier posts I assume its your child and its your spouse who is addicted. Is it possible for you to get the child into daycare so that the spouse can then deal with the addiction. Is your spouse in treatment? or rehab? is she refusing to go?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 178
How old is your child?
I don't know your situation but when I discussed my ex's addiction with our doctor
he told me to never leave my daughter alone with the addict, that he could have some
paranoid idea and do something to her.
My ex is a heroin addict.
what is your spouse's drug of choice?
Is she ever alone with your child?
I don't know where you live but here there are some information lines about social services available and such. Also free clinics with law students to figure out what you have to do.
Or you might want to see a lawyer.
I know I was told that I needed to apply for temporary guardianship to insure that I would be the one to have our child until anything was heard in court. I didn't do it though, I knew there was no way my ex was going to fight to get her from me.
He couldn't even watch her while I showered.
(Once my ex watched my daughter while I showered and when I got out he told me
"I understand why people shake their babies". It hurt so bad to hear that. yet in a way
I was thankful, it felt like he had warned me of the possible danger?)
So get informed. get ready in your mind. It took me a while. but depending of your situation you might not have the option to wait. You have to insure that your child is safe.
Also, attending Alanon really helped me figure things out. I had already decided to leave
but somehow attending made it easier. and I had a few people asking me where I was at.
I hope you have some family members or acquaintances who can help with your child even
if it's just a few hours here and there. It's not easy.
I don't know your situation but when I discussed my ex's addiction with our doctor
he told me to never leave my daughter alone with the addict, that he could have some
paranoid idea and do something to her.
My ex is a heroin addict.
what is your spouse's drug of choice?
Is she ever alone with your child?
I don't know where you live but here there are some information lines about social services available and such. Also free clinics with law students to figure out what you have to do.
Or you might want to see a lawyer.
I know I was told that I needed to apply for temporary guardianship to insure that I would be the one to have our child until anything was heard in court. I didn't do it though, I knew there was no way my ex was going to fight to get her from me.
He couldn't even watch her while I showered.
(Once my ex watched my daughter while I showered and when I got out he told me
"I understand why people shake their babies". It hurt so bad to hear that. yet in a way
I was thankful, it felt like he had warned me of the possible danger?)
So get informed. get ready in your mind. It took me a while. but depending of your situation you might not have the option to wait. You have to insure that your child is safe.
Also, attending Alanon really helped me figure things out. I had already decided to leave
but somehow attending made it easier. and I had a few people asking me where I was at.
I hope you have some family members or acquaintances who can help with your child even
if it's just a few hours here and there. It's not easy.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
I would seek out legal counsel especially one that deals with divorce and child custody... Most states side with the mother unless you can prove that they are unfit.. I would document everything and present it to the lawyer.. You are right in that your main focus should be you child and their well being
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