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Crazy ending to a date that is triggering memories of ex addict

Old 08-17-2013, 12:04 PM
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Crazy ending to a date that is triggering memories of ex addict

I broke up with for the final time with my addict and haven't had any contact in months. I met someone a few months ago who sparked my interest. Things were going great. Has a great job, successful, responsible, smart, etc. We hit it off quite well. He asked to take my 4 year old and i to a baseball game last night and there are friday night fireworks afterwards so we go. The night was so strange to say the least. My daughter has only been around him a few times. Last weekend I had her in the car and I gave him a quick hug and she got really jealous and didn't like it. I kind of blew it off to her being 4 and not knowing him. She is after all ONLY FOUR!

We get to the ballpark, get a hot dog, she goes on a ride and we get to the candy cotton line. She had a little melt down because I wouldn't get her a large bag of cotton candy. No biggie. She's ONLY FOUR! She had a blast watching the game, ate peanuts, did the all american ballpark thing. We watch the fireworks and by this point it is late. She is an angel in the car reading her book and she and I were cracking jokes. The guy I was out with was really starting to seem distant all night, was quiet the entire drive home. He made a comment at the ballpark like "wow she's a really jealous kid!" I thought, hm, that's an interesting statement to make about a child you've only been around a few times and you don't even know her.

anyway, I'll make this short. He drops us off, helps me to unload the car, we are standing in my foyer and my daughter is on the steps two feet away, I thank him for taking us to the game and give him a hug. It's already 11pm...late for a four year old. My daughter. said "i want my mommy" and this dude snaps and yells really loud as I'm hugging him "JESUS!!!" and slams the door open to run to his car.

I was stunned beyond belief. This grown ass man acting like a baby because my daughter wanted her mommy, storming out like a toddler because he wasn't getting all the attention. Mind you, there were no red flags for two months like this. It came out of nowhere. I obviously told him that behavior and insults towards my child sealed the deal and I no longer wanted contact with him. His response in a text "YOUR daughters behavior sealed the deal for me!" Um, whaaaaaat?!?! I was so insulted beyond belief.

I guess this just triggered so many memories of my past with my ex. My ex was amazing with my daughter. He truly was. Unfortunately he was a total train wreck and abusive with me. But this behavior from this guy last night and my ability to just say hey, no way buddy. This is unacceptable, a HUGE red flag, and you just got your walking papers really made me think back to my addict. I never in my past would put up with a fraction of the poor behavior I put up with when it came to my ex addict. So why did I continue to stay in the crazy cycle with the addict? I still dont fully comprehend it at all.

As I sat out on my deck last night for a few hours just stunned at what had just happened on this date, for the first time I truly felt thankful for one thing my addict taught me. . . which is to NEVER put up with unacceptable behavior. . . especially when there is a child involved. For that, I guess I should thank him.

As far as this other guy, he acted like a baby throwing a temper tantrum because he wasn't getting all the attention all night. Later! No sense in chasing down a bus where there are many more coming along! Yuck!
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Old 08-17-2013, 12:14 PM
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I love this post!!!! Thank you for sharing...

Good for you for standing up for yourself and your little girl.. Your post screams true recovery..

This guy may not be good with kids or may not be around kids all that often.. I don't have kids either buy I'm logical enough to know that 4 year olds will be 4 year olds because I have 5 nieces and nephews :-)!!

The right one will come along one day.. Just keep smiling and weeding through the bad ones..
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Old 08-17-2013, 01:30 PM
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You have me cheering from the bleachers here, well done!!!

Men who aren't kind and sweet to children are not worthy of the mama's affections. Poo on him for being such a jerk. I hope your daughter understands that he is gone gone gone. 4 is not too young to know that mama can choose wisely.

Hugs
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:26 PM
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Does not even matter whether he has experience or understanding of kids he was in reality acting like one.
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Old 08-17-2013, 04:19 PM
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I'm just going to be honest Because I always am and don't take this in the wrong way. I was adopted at 3 years old never knew my real father (my adoptive father is amazing) those 3 years I spent with my birth mother were the most confusing years of my life because she had a new BF every WEEK! Brought me around a new 1 every chance she got. I always wondered which one was my father. I'm just saying for your sake and your daughters sake PLEASE date someone for at least 6 months or even longer before they meet your daughter. I've always noticed after 6 months people's true colors show. I'm not saying your daughter will have the same men problems as I (even being raised with an amazing adoptive family) but I see where my daddy issues arise from and it's because 1-10 years old are VERY crucial mind developing years for kids we always remember the mean man we always remember the mean babysitter and we never forget how much our mommy loved us! Just a little piece for you I hope I don't offend at all! And I really wish you happiness and an amazing man because you seem like an awesome mother most daughters are like ew MOM I don't wanna play LOL
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Old 08-26-2013, 07:20 PM
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You go girl!! You should feel proud for what you did and for sticking up for u and ur daughter!
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